Too tall player sparks fan violence

(Yahoo! News)

















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Basketball player Hu Guang = Ah, unspeakably tall bugger!

(by Adie Pena)

Elderly have their own worries on health overhaul

(AP)

















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Elderly have their own worries on health overhaul = We've heard Hitler's in Town Hall, Lee -- have you? Horror!

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Senator Edward Kennedy dies after losing brain cancer battle

(Bild)

















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The U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy = Death? Yes, send undertaker now.

(by Adie Pena)

Proceed with CIA Abuse Cases

(Boston Globe)

















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Proceed with CIA abuse cases = A power bias ices the accused

(by Richard Radford)

Playboy model murder suspect found dead

(Xinhua)

















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Murder suspect Ryan Jenkins = Preyed 'n' struck Jasmine... Runs.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Coroner rules Jackson's death a homicide

(MSNBC)

















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L.A. coroner rules Jackson's death a homicide = Aha! Or could he see old injection mark scars?

(by Adie Pena)

Latest in Stimulus: Cash for Refrigerators

(Yahoo! News)

















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Latest in stimulus: Cash for refrigerators = Left stirs rumors: fatal ice shortages, ruin.

(by Squidrock.com)

Wildfires rage around Athens

(ITN)

















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More wildfires rage around Athens = Flames worsen in dire drought area

(by Tony Crafter)

Ministers defend Megrahi release

(BBC News)

















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Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi = As a Big Allah liberated me!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Economy Is 'Leveling Out,' Bernanke Says

(Washington Post)

















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Economy Is 'Leveling Out,' Bernanke Says = Yes, elite banks also uncovering money

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Conservatives mull future after ELCA lifts gay ban

(Yahoo! News)

















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Evangelical Lutheran Church of America lifts gay ban = Are they having a real bunch of actual flaming clerics?

(by Adie Pena)

'Deal in the desert' put Abdel Baset Ali al-Megrahi on path to freedom

(The Times)

















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Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset Ali al-Megrahi is released. = Albeit, scheme seals a Blair-brokered mega oil-deal bribe?

(by Tony Crafter)

Hurricane Bill reaches Category Four strength

(CNN)

















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Hurricane Bill reaches Category Four strength = 'He' can generate horrible circular frothy gusts.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

South African teen wins 800 amid gender-test flap

(Yahoo! Sports)

















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South African Caster Semenya = A fact: once he ran as true missy

(by Aronas Pinchas)

What killed Mozart? Study suggests strep infection.

(Yahoo! News)

















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What killed Mozart? Study suggests strep infection. = Test story might waste stockpiled influenza drugs.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

The Mousetrap: The carnivorous plant that eats rodents for lunch - named after Sir David Attenborough

(Daily Mail)

















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Nepenthes attenboroughii = Note I sup on the rat being, eh?

(by Adie Pena)

Tropical Storm Claudette Hits Florida

(The New York Times)

















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Tropical Storm Claudette = Mad clutter, peril to coast

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Guitar, studio wizard Les Paul dies at 94

(CNN)

















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• The guitarist and electronics mastermind Les Paul (Lester William Polfuss) = Still, lifeless. We'll miss the late great U.S. musician and important producer.
  
• Lester William Polfuss = We'll miss Les Paul for it.
  

(by Adie Pena)

Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short

(Yahoo! News)

















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Cash strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short = Report part appals: Hand those crying Cubans tissue!

(by Squidrock.com)

Busted: Statue's a Dead Ringer for Jacko

(NBC Chicago)

















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The old Egyptian limestone statue at Chicago's Field Museum = Tut? Nay, I must get a glimpse of deceased Michael's hot outline!

(by Adie Pena)