Serena Williams' US Open Title Defense Ends with Bizarre Loss to Kim Clijsters

(Chicago Tribune)

















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Serena Williams' US Open Title Defense Ends with Bizarre Loss to Kim Clijsters = Serena Cries, "Foot Didn't Pass Line; Twas in Mouth!" Tells Sis, "Well I...Jeez, I'm Berserk!"

(by S.C. MacDorman)

Serena's tirade abruptly ends match

(ESPN)

















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"I swear to God I'm ******* going to take this ******* ball and shove it down your ******* throat, you hear that? I swear to God." = Oh, too hotheaded Serena Williams' wrongdoing to others. Avoid a thirty-gigawatt outburst, okay?

(by Adie Pena)

'You Lie:' Joe Wilson outburst sets bad example for kids

(NJ.com)

















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Republican Joe (Addison Graves) Wilson, Sr. = Snaps; bellows a vicious grand rejoinder!

(by Adie Pena)

Jackson buried with glove, pearls and shades

(Yahoo! News)

















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Jackson buried with glove, pearls and shades = Sir, who sponged his valuables and red jacket?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

In Lawmaker's Outburst, a Rare Breach of Protocol

(The New York Times)

















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In Lawmaker's Outburst, a Rare Breach of Protocol = Error? Wake up! Birthers act on Obama's color 'fault' = Crackpot brain's low 'free shot' at our ruler Obama = Hero Barack welcomes rub or uproar, "It's not fatal!" = Laws protect such a troublemaker or boar. No fair!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Wilson's outburst thrusts him on national stage

(The State)

















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Wilson's outburst thrusts him on national stage = ...so runt's a star sensation, will not shut big mouth.

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Apple's New Nano: Now The World's Smallest Camcorder

(The New York Times)

















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Critics' word: "Meet the Nano" = "Now the tiniest camcorder!"

(by Adie Pena)

Democrats Go on the Road to Revive Health Care Push

(The New York Times)

















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Democrats Go on the Road to Revive Health Care Push = Let's go home, eat carrot and chard, hope to survive, eh?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Massive' ancient wall uncovered in Jerusalem

(CNN)

















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'Massive' ancient wall uncovered in Jerusalem = Review old Canaan mural in cement: 'Jesus lives.'

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

First letter from captive soldier Gilad Schalit made public

(Jerusalem Post)

















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First letter from captive soldier Gilad Schalit made public = Title: Hamas provided 'gift' - script of crumbled Israeli at cell

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sleep-deprived doctors told to drink coffee

(Yahoo! News)

















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Sleep-deprived doctors told to drink coffee = Devoted Doc Fred: "Reckon I still opt for speed!" = Let offended providers sport cold Diet Coke = Doc Eric perked it (lots!), nodded off, overslept.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Medford officials screening Obama's school speech

(Boston Globe)

















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Medford officials screening Obama's school speech = Champs of children can see 'be good' offers socialism

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

The Anagram Times

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The Anagram Times: "All the news that's fit to anagram" = Mr. Garg awaits the fan's latest line, that "Aha!" moment

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Movie Studios See a Threat in Growth of Redbox

(The New York Times)

















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Movie Studios See a Threat in Growth of Redbox = Great! Two exhibitors fear DVD use in homes, too.

(by Adie Pena)

Great white sharks tagged for first time off Mass.

(Yahoo! News)

















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Great white sharks tagged for first time off Mass. = "Tag? Ask right after this red feast of fog swimmers!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Arson caused the California blaze, officials say

(CNN)

















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Arson caused the California blaze, officials say = Ash falls in eye of a Santa Cruz, Cali. bride, "O, fiasco!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Friends and Family Gather to Lay Michael Jackson to Rest

(Access Hollywood)

















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Friends and Family Gather to Lay Michael Jackson to Rest = "That's Jermaine, Sis La Toya and my great flock of children!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Internet addiction center opens in US

(AP)

















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Internet addiction center opens in US = Sanities end; Connection interrupted.

(by Squidrock.com)

FDA says residue is frog or toad; how did it get in Pepsi can?

(CNN)

















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A toad is in my can of Pepsi! = If a soda company is inept.

(by Adie Pena)

Weather helping fight against massive LA blaze

(Forbes)

















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Weather helping fight against massive LA blaze = Having waters fall helps anathematize biggies

(by Squidrock.com)