UBS to tell Americans if they are on IRS list

(Washington Post)

















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UBS to tell Americans if they are on IRS list = Use cash to flee into Syria - brilliant terms!

(by S.C. MacDorman)

Obama Takes On Letterman

(Washington Post)

















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Obama Takes On Letterman = Toast one marketable man!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The Holy Grail of the Unconscious

(The New York Times)

















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The Holy Grail of the Unconscious = Rousing icon to heal thyself -- (ouch!)

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Michael Moore Digs Up Presidential Footage for Capitalism: A Love Story

(Reelz Channel)

















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Michael Moore's "Capitalism: A Love Story" = Oh, America. So most still employ avarice!

(by Adie Pena)

Naked man, 91, holds drunken intruder at gunpoint

(Yahoo! News)

















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Naked man, 91, holds drunken intruder at gunpoint = Dad ran, running like he's potent 19; "Out, damn drunk!".

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Obama to meet China, Japan, Russia leaders

(AP)

















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Obama to meet China, Japan, Russia leaders = Same major table chats in Asia and Europe

(by Adie Pena)

Folk's Most Beloved Princess: Mary Travers Dies at 72

(Time)

















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The American singer-songwriter Mary Allin Travers dies = Never stress. Real literary "Magic Dragon" remains within.

(by Adie Pena)

Patrick Swayze made peace with death, memoir shows

(Yahoo! News)

















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Patrick Swayze made peace with death, memoir shows = He was wracked, yet amazed with epic metamorphosis

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Iraqi shoe thrower unrepentant after release from jail

(The Guardian - Nigeria)

















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Iraqi shoe thrower unrepentant after release from jail = Free Iraqi nutter helps Joe Wilson hone arm after errata

(by S.C. MacDorman)

Question for President Barack Obama? Just ask!

(ABC News)

















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Question for President Barack Obama? Just ask! = As apt men forsake or quit bad jobs -- can u strike?

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Serena Williams' US Open Title Defense Ends with Bizarre Loss to Kim Clijsters

(Chicago Tribune)

















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Serena Williams' US Open Title Defense Ends with Bizarre Loss to Kim Clijsters = Serena Cries, "Foot Didn't Pass Line; Twas in Mouth!" Tells Sis, "Well I...Jeez, I'm Berserk!"

(by S.C. MacDorman)

Serena's tirade abruptly ends match

(ESPN)

















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"I swear to God I'm ******* going to take this ******* ball and shove it down your ******* throat, you hear that? I swear to God." = Oh, too hotheaded Serena Williams' wrongdoing to others. Avoid a thirty-gigawatt outburst, okay?

(by Adie Pena)

'You Lie:' Joe Wilson outburst sets bad example for kids

(NJ.com)

















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Republican Joe (Addison Graves) Wilson, Sr. = Snaps; bellows a vicious grand rejoinder!

(by Adie Pena)

Jackson buried with glove, pearls and shades

(Yahoo! News)

















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Jackson buried with glove, pearls and shades = Sir, who sponged his valuables and red jacket?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

In Lawmaker's Outburst, a Rare Breach of Protocol

(The New York Times)

















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In Lawmaker's Outburst, a Rare Breach of Protocol = Error? Wake up! Birthers act on Obama's color 'fault' = Crackpot brain's low 'free shot' at our ruler Obama = Hero Barack welcomes rub or uproar, "It's not fatal!" = Laws protect such a troublemaker or boar. No fair!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Wilson's outburst thrusts him on national stage

(The State)

















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Wilson's outburst thrusts him on national stage = ...so runt's a star sensation, will not shut big mouth.

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Apple's New Nano: Now The World's Smallest Camcorder

(The New York Times)

















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Critics' word: "Meet the Nano" = "Now the tiniest camcorder!"

(by Adie Pena)

Democrats Go on the Road to Revive Health Care Push

(The New York Times)

















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Democrats Go on the Road to Revive Health Care Push = Let's go home, eat carrot and chard, hope to survive, eh?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Massive' ancient wall uncovered in Jerusalem

(CNN)

















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'Massive' ancient wall uncovered in Jerusalem = Review old Canaan mural in cement: 'Jesus lives.'

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

First letter from captive soldier Gilad Schalit made public

(Jerusalem Post)

















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First letter from captive soldier Gilad Schalit made public = Title: Hamas provided 'gift' - script of crumbled Israeli at cell

(by Aronas Pinchas)