U.S. to Order Steep Pay Cuts at Firms That Got Most Aid

(The New York Times)

















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U.S. to order steep pay cuts at firms that got most aid = "I'm destroyed!" pouts a prostrate soft-gut asthmatic

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Israel demolishes two Palestinian homes in Jerusalem

(Reuters)

















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Israel demolishes two Palestinian homes in Jerusalem = Homeless pair - 'Elimination, Jews dismantle real houses'

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Pfizer-Unilab row reaches retail sector

(Inquirer)

















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Pfizer-Unilab row reaches retail sector = Users face the bizarre Lipitor clone war!

(by Adie Pena)

Animal slaughter for the World Cup?

(Yahoo! News)

















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Animal slaughter for the World Cup? = Hindu alarm erupts for cow, "The gall!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Co-pilot: No sleeping or arguing in cockpit

(CNN)

















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Co-pilot: No sleeping or arguing in cockpit = Apologies to CNN on picking up erotic girl

(by Dharam Khalsa)

US balloon mother 'admits hoax'

(BBC News)

















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US balloon mother admits it was a con. = A helium antic blows a son to stardom!

(by Tony Crafter)

Shoes fly as Bush tells audience, 'I did not sell my soul'

(Raw Story)

















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"I am confident that I made decisions based on principle, that I made calls as best I could, and I did not sell my soul" = Damn hell, people! Criticisms and old soles fly as Bush admitted to a mad audience an idiotic, nonsensical tidbit

(by Adie Pena)

Pogue Answers Reader Questions on Windows 7

(The New York Times)

















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Windows Seven = Send views now

(by Adie Pena)

Jewish leaders urge Obama to visit Israel

(YnetNews)

















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Jewish leaders urge Obama to visit Israel = We advise: Go to Jerusalem! Their air - a bliss!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Family describes fear, elation as balloon saga unfolded

(CNN)

















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Family describes fear, elation as balloon saga unfolded = Falcon's dad may also be using fine lads for elaborate lie

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Facebook Outage Silences 150,000 Users

(PC World)

















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A Facebook Outage Silences 150,000 Users = Because 150,000 aloof ones agree: "It sucks!"

(by Adie Pena)

Guy Laliberte ends his space jaunt with a smile

(The Daily Mirror)

















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The Cirque du Soleil billionaire and space tourist = I could also consider Laliberte's quite up in the air!

(by Adie Pena)

Stephen Gately: The Boyzone star's secret life that drove him to lies, pills and depression

(Daily Mail)

















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The Boyzone star and singer Stephen Gately = Brazenly open gay (not straight!) sees the end

(by Adie Pena)

Marge gracing Playboy mag cover

(BBC News)

















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November issue of the magazine Playboy = Gaze at Homer 's live, mousy, open, fine baby

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Marge gracing Playboy mag cover

(BBC News)

















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Oh, believe in the beauty of zany Marge Simpson... = in the November issue of the magazine Playboy

(by Adie Pena)

NASA moon "bombings" tomorrow: sky show, water expected

(National Geographic)

















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NASA moon "bombings" tomorrow: sky show, water expected = Wow! Messy to expand the war: moonrocks' bits boomerang!

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Three dead in separate incidents in Oakland

(The San Francisco Chronicle)

















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Three dead in separate incidents in Oakland = Sane teen child is kind to dear parent -- (an idea!)

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Woman's Shattered Life Shows Ground Beef Inspection Flaws

(The New York Times)

















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Cargill's "American Chef's Selection Angus Beef Patties" = Meanest E. coli in classic burger affects gal Stephanie

(by Adie Pena)

On Comedy's Flying Trapeze

(The New York Times)

















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A "Monty Python's Flying Circus" Reunion = = Only chumps continuing in forty years!

(by Adie Pena)

The Case for God by Karen Armstrong

(The New York Times)

















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The Case for God by Karen Armstrong = Rock of Ages -- grander myth or absent?

(by Jeffrey Barnes)