No heart disease for Rush Limbaugh

(ABC News)

















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No heart disease for Rush Limbaugh = ...for he has no heart, I guess. (Dumb liar.)

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

New year, same old binge Britain

(Daily Mail)

















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The New Year's Eve celebrations = Vast cheer to beer! Else any wine!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Abdulmutallab Had Passport, Dutch Say

(CBS News)

















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The Nigerian terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab = Fraud, a liar, true killer targets to ruin, a human-bomb

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Anthrax case linked to drum circle, New Hampshire officials say

(The New York Times)

















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Anthrax case linked to drum circle, New Hampshire officials say = Fear's wild cardiac rhythm fixes all the rockin' pneumonia cases

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

President Obama pledges to scour world for terror cells

(The Times)

















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President Obama pledges to scour world for terror cells = Good Lord, we'll act & screen people from absurd terrorists!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

I'm no bogeyman, says Iran's Ahmadinejad

(The Times of India)

















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Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = "Me? I am a dishonest die-hard Panjandrum!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Passengers' Quick Action Halted Attack

(The New York Times)

















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These lawful strangers put out a real dark human bomb... = ...the Northwest passenger Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab

(by Adie Pena)

Security must be tighter, cardinal says

(National Post)

















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The "psychologically unstable" Susanna Maiolo = My goal - a culpably, actual onset on His Holiness

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Pope attacker identified as Susanna Maiolo

(The Herald Sun)

















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The "psychologically unstable" Susanna Maiolo = A silly unsociable lass may lunge at top honcho

(by Adie Pena)

11% drop in number of visitors to Israel

(YnetNews)

















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An eleven percents drop in number of visitors to Israel = Tel Aviv not so popular: mind been in terror fires scenes

(by Aronas Pinchas)

US balloon boy parents are given jail sentences

(BBC News)

















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US balloon boy parents are given jail sentences = So, enjoy a creative bonus: planning a bestseller!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Kissing under the mistletoe

(The Tribune)

















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Kissing under the mistletoe = This tongues' link met desire!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Eurostar train services canceled indefinitely

(Yahoo! News)

















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All Eurostar train services are suspended. = A crisis! European travellers stranded. Sue!

(by Tony Crafter)

British Lions rugby legend Gareth Thomas: 'It's ended my marriage and nearly driven me to suicide. Now it's time to tell the world the truth - I'm gay

(Daily Mail)

















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The British Lions rugby player Gareth Thomas = Not a girlish bother but he's rather simply gay!

(by Adie Pena)

Accenture ends Tiger Woods sponsorship deal

(BBC News)

















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Accenture, Gillette, Gatorade = Agree, all enacted to cut Tiger

(by Mark McNamara)

Christmas Gifts for Beer Lovers

(Bournemouth Echo)

















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Christmas Gifts for Beer Lovers? = Offer the gross victims barrels?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Up in the Air' Tops Golden Globe Nominations

(People)

















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Up In The Air, starring George Clooney = Hero in one great picture gains glory

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Italy's PM Silvio Berlusconi is bloodied by attack

(BBC News)

















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Civil loon bruises = Silvio Berlusconi

(by Tony Crafter)

Intersex News: Vindicated!

(Intersex News)

















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Sex chromosome virility? = Love's XY itch. I'm Romeo sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tiger Woods wife Elin Nordegren to leave him, newspaper reports

(News.com.au)

















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Tiger's wife to leave him = A few girlies the motive!

(by Mark McNamara)