Battered Brown lets Mandelson take centre stage at key Labour meeting after failed coup

(Daily Mail)

















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Battered Brown lets Mandelson take centre stage = Rot retreats? Ten's lame weed backs an old bent gent!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Pilot Navigates Fate

(The New York Times)

















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Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger III = Celebrity ace rules in his big plane!

(by Adie Pena)

Topless Tiger Woods to be on Vanity Fair

(ABC)

















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A topless Tiger = I get press, a lot

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Tiger topless fot Leibovitz in vanity fair

(Yahoo! Sports)

















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Tiger topless = Lost prestige

(by Tony Crafter)

Going up! How Warren Beatty slept his way to the top

(Daily Mail)

















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Warren Beatty gloats he has bedded more than 12,775 women! = 12,775 lays! Not bad, eh? Bet he has got a red-raw, erm... endowment.

(by Tony Crafter)

Dubai opens half-mile-high tower, world's tallest

(Yahoo! News)

















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World's tallest building = Still strong, dwell Dubai!

(by Mark McNamara)

Does the G-spot really exist?

(Daily Mail)

















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Ha! Scientists formally claim the G-spot doesn't exist! = It's a sex-myth. So, let's go find that clitoris's place, men!

(by Tony Crafter)

Ex-mayor admits stealing women's underwear

(BBC News)

















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Ian Stafford = Fad for satin

(by Aronas Pinchas)

What's new, Pussycat? Using the toilet

(The Wall Street Journal)

















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What's new, Pussycat? Using the toilet = "Lay one, Puss! (Aww -- it's the cutest thing!)"

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

2010 Ushered In By The Ball Drop At Times Square

(Thaindian News)

















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"Ball Drop" at Times Square in New York City... = ...isn't a mild or quiet New Year's block party

(by Adie Pena)

No heart disease for Rush Limbaugh

(ABC News)

















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No heart disease for Rush Limbaugh = ...for he has no heart, I guess. (Dumb liar.)

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

New year, same old binge Britain

(Daily Mail)

















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The New Year's Eve celebrations = Vast cheer to beer! Else any wine!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Abdulmutallab Had Passport, Dutch Say

(CBS News)

















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The Nigerian terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab = Fraud, a liar, true killer targets to ruin, a human-bomb

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Anthrax case linked to drum circle, New Hampshire officials say

(The New York Times)

















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Anthrax case linked to drum circle, New Hampshire officials say = Fear's wild cardiac rhythm fixes all the rockin' pneumonia cases

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

President Obama pledges to scour world for terror cells

(The Times)

















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President Obama pledges to scour world for terror cells = Good Lord, we'll act & screen people from absurd terrorists!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

I'm no bogeyman, says Iran's Ahmadinejad

(The Times of India)

















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Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = "Me? I am a dishonest die-hard Panjandrum!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Passengers' Quick Action Halted Attack

(The New York Times)

















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These lawful strangers put out a real dark human bomb... = ...the Northwest passenger Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab

(by Adie Pena)

Security must be tighter, cardinal says

(National Post)

















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The "psychologically unstable" Susanna Maiolo = My goal - a culpably, actual onset on His Holiness

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Pope attacker identified as Susanna Maiolo

(The Herald Sun)

















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The "psychologically unstable" Susanna Maiolo = A silly unsociable lass may lunge at top honcho

(by Adie Pena)

11% drop in number of visitors to Israel

(YnetNews)

















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An eleven percents drop in number of visitors to Israel = Tel Aviv not so popular: mind been in terror fires scenes

(by Aronas Pinchas)