'Avatar' earns a billion dollars, fastest ever

(Techie.com.ph)

















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The film, James Cameron's "Avatar," earns a billion dollars = A brilliant L.A. craftsman's movie on a jarhead sells more!

(by Adie Pena)

Gay pageant 'cancelled by police' in China

(BBC News)

















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A "Mr Gay China" is cancelled by police = Chic and campy nice boys are illegal!

(by Adie Pena)

Thousands view solar eclipse event

(AP)

















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Thousands view solar eclipse event = View satellite's phased cover on sun

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Our Solar System May Have Millions of "Twins"

(National Geographic)

















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Our Solar System May Have Millions of "Twins" = So, we humans may aim to visit less forlornly

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Salmon, beef on the menu for Prince William in Australia

(The Herald Sun)

















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Prince William will sit down to a lunch fit for a king when he arrives at Admiralty House next week. = What de luxe main menu fill! What's in it? Kangaroo steak with crocodile liver in prawn fry with eels!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why those fat thighs may help you live longer

(Reuters)

















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People with fat in their thighs and backsides may live longer = Eh? Like greedy living fatheads as that PM Brown in politics eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Palin's Fox News deal a political sign?

(CNN)

















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Sarah Palin, a TV news commentator? = That woman's crap is a normal event!

(by Adie Pena)

Battered Brown lets Mandelson take centre stage at key Labour meeting after failed coup

(Daily Mail)

















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Battered Brown lets Mandelson take centre stage = Rot retreats? Ten's lame weed backs an old bent gent!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Pilot Navigates Fate

(The New York Times)

















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Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger III = Celebrity ace rules in his big plane!

(by Adie Pena)

Topless Tiger Woods to be on Vanity Fair

(ABC)

















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A topless Tiger = I get press, a lot

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Tiger topless fot Leibovitz in vanity fair

(Yahoo! Sports)

















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Tiger topless = Lost prestige

(by Tony Crafter)

Going up! How Warren Beatty slept his way to the top

(Daily Mail)

















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Warren Beatty gloats he has bedded more than 12,775 women! = 12,775 lays! Not bad, eh? Bet he has got a red-raw, erm... endowment.

(by Tony Crafter)

Dubai opens half-mile-high tower, world's tallest

(Yahoo! News)

















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World's tallest building = Still strong, dwell Dubai!

(by Mark McNamara)

Does the G-spot really exist?

(Daily Mail)

















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Ha! Scientists formally claim the G-spot doesn't exist! = It's a sex-myth. So, let's go find that clitoris's place, men!

(by Tony Crafter)

Ex-mayor admits stealing women's underwear

(BBC News)

















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Ian Stafford = Fad for satin

(by Aronas Pinchas)

What's new, Pussycat? Using the toilet

(The Wall Street Journal)

















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What's new, Pussycat? Using the toilet = "Lay one, Puss! (Aww -- it's the cutest thing!)"

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

2010 Ushered In By The Ball Drop At Times Square

(Thaindian News)

















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"Ball Drop" at Times Square in New York City... = ...isn't a mild or quiet New Year's block party

(by Adie Pena)

No heart disease for Rush Limbaugh

(ABC News)

















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No heart disease for Rush Limbaugh = ...for he has no heart, I guess. (Dumb liar.)

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

New year, same old binge Britain

(Daily Mail)

















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The New Year's Eve celebrations = Vast cheer to beer! Else any wine!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Abdulmutallab Had Passport, Dutch Say

(CBS News)

















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The Nigerian terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab = Fraud, a liar, true killer targets to ruin, a human-bomb

(by Aronas Pinchas)