Sex scandal MP Nigel Griffiths to stand down

(The Daily Telegraph)

















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Sex scandal MP Nigel Griffiths to stand down = Poll's grand stand end: Twit shags office minx!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Beyonce wins Grammy for Best Song

(NME)

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Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" = So, a piece untiringly nailed "Best Song"!

(by Adie Pena)

Why the latest party drug brings new dangers

(The Daily Mirror)

















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Why the latest party drug brings new dangers? = Randy guys bed girls! Whew! The pregnant tarts.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Prayers said for tragic children

(AP)

















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Prayers said for tragic children = I rather cry. God's fair candles RIP

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gandhiji's ashes scattered in Indian Ocean

(The Hindu)

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Gandhiji's ashes scattered in Indian Ocean = Inciting echo? Assassinated, he'd end in a jar.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mel Gibson: 'Obama can't fix the US'

(Digital Spy)

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Mel Gibson: 'Obama can't fix the US' = 'The fit? Obama's boxing Uncle Sam!'

(by Maurice Goddard)

Unrepentant, unforgiven, Blair says "I'd do it again"

(The Times)

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Unrepentant, unforgiven, Blair says "I'd do it again" = Profaner! A nauseating blundering idiot's vanity!

(by Maurice Goddard)

In Speech, Obama to Admit Missteps in First Year

(The New York Times)


















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In Speech, Obama to Admit Missteps in First Year = A brief modesty attempt in his passions - a crime?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

10 questions Tony Blair must answer at the Chilcot inquiry

(The Guardian)


















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10 questions Tony Blair must answer at the Chilcot inquiry = No 10's onetime chronic twit quietly squints. "Arabs lay hurt?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

More youngsters from poor homes go to university

(BBC News)

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More youngsters from poor homes go to university = Eton room moreover, is OUT for most hungry gypsies!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Hillary Clinton says she won't serve eight years

(AP)

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Hillary Clinton says she won't serve eight years = "Honestly, I hate Washington's very silly careers!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pete Doherty fined for taking drugs to court

(Yahoo! News)

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Heroin?! It's a stupid crime by the... = ... British musician Pete Doherty!

(by Adie Pena)

Book publishers embrace Apple's iPad

(The Australian)

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Book publishers embrace Apple's iPad = E-mail popped up so: "Bash BlackBerries!"

(by Mark McNamara)

Susan Boyle comes home to find an intruder

(People)

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Susan Boyle comes home to find an intruder = but, sadly, found no one there; "I miss romance!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

London Mayor Boris Johnson to drop policing role

(Reuters)

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London's Mayor Boris Johnson to drop policing role = O! Jolly blond hero's (or moron's) grand opinions cop it!

(by Maurice Goddard)

New Michael Jackson doll to be launched

(Financial Times)

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New Michael Jackson doll to be launched = All can cuddle Jacko now! He's mobile then?

(by Maurice Goddard)

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New Michael Jackson doll to be launched Child can blow/tune lean Jacko's model, eh

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Is Britain becoming more conservative?

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Is Britain becoming more conservative? = Viva Tories! Big Ben is nice to Mr Cameron.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Britons feared dead in Ethiopian Airlines plane crash

(BBC News)



















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Ethiopian Airlines plane crash = Oh, in an airship all rest in peace!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'Chemical Ali' executed in Iraq

(BBC News)

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Ali Hassan al-Majid 'Chemical Ali' executed in Iraq = Quit a jail animal. Criminal leech! As acid, he's axed!

(by Maurice Goddard)

SAG-gy Bullock and Basterds

(The Sun)

















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SAG-gy Bullock and Basterds = By gad! Gal tends bulk Oscars!

(by Maurice Goddard)