Vatican Hit by Gay Sex Scandal

(Huffington Post)

















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Vatican hit by gay sex scandal = Classy gent via handy taxicab

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Millions of Toyotas Recalled, None in Japan

(The New York Times)

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Millions of Toyotas Recalled, None in Japan = No! Ride not in a local lemon. Jalopy isn't safe!

(by Adie Pena)

President Hosni Mubarak Surgery Successful, Say Egyptian State Media

(VOA News)

















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President Hosni Mubarak Surgery Successful, Say Egyptian State Media = Guy's space-age pyramid is built. No death mask as yet in recurrent fusses.

(by Maurice Goddard)

It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs

(Yahoo! News)

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It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs = No, sir! Ah, it was NOT a fictitious dreadful episode!

(by Adie Pena)

What's a Nice Girl Doing in This Hole?

(The New York Times)

















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"What's a Nice Girl Doing in This Hole?" by Manohla Dargis = Ooh, is a big, ghastly, nightmarish "Alice in Wonderland"!

(by Adie Pena)

Romney on Palin: "Be Careful... She Has a Rifle"

(The Nation)

















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Romney on Palin: "Be Careful... She Has a Rifle" = Ya, she can fire on her bullies from a plane!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Romney on Palin: "Be Careful... She Has a Rifle" = 'Nobly' Sarah - perilous female. Hen can fire!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Happy People Talk More, and With More Substance

(Yahoo! News)

















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Happy People Talk More, and With More Substance = Shallow make epithets on paper and by computer?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

UN Chief Urges Gender Equality on International Women's Day

(VOA News)


















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UN Chief Urges Gender Equality on International Women's Day = Eager in intents, confounded queer Mullahs ignore it anyway.

(by Maurice Goddard)

5 things that will make you happier

(LiveScience)

















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5 things that will make you happier = 5? Ah! Late up ale+whisky+gin+pot+mirth!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Streep sparkles in deliciously frothy piece of confectionery

(Times Live)

















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Streep sparkles in deliciously frothy piece of confectionery! = Friendly ones like it hot! Carefree, close, soppy, spicy, erotic fun!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Queen welcomes South African President Jacob Zuma

(BBC News)

















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Queen welcomes South African President Jacob Zuma = So Liz accepts major queer Bushman and one cute wife?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Toyoda apologises to China over recalls

(Reuters)

















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President Akio Toyoda = i.e. Park, son, Toyota died

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Toyoda apologises to China over recalls

Gatorade cuts ties with Tiger Woods

(The Globe and Mail)

















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Gatorade cuts ties with Tiger Woods = Grudge to a rich sad twit is too sweet.

(by Maurice Goddard)

President Obama honors Bob Dylan and Clint Eastwood

(The San Francisco Chronicle)

















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President Obama honors Bob Dylan and Clint Eastwood = The pet blot crowns; Bono, Doris Day, and Osama bin Laden!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Grand finale: Olympics end with hockey final

(Washington Post)

















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Grand finale: Olympics end with hockey final = ... and end Games with chilly ice rink play-off. No?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Talking therapy may provide lasting back pain relief

(The Guardian)

















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Talking therapy may provide lasting back pain relief = Blair gasped: "Glorify talk? I'm a very apt pain in the neck!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pudgy birds may migrate faster

(Yahoo! News)

















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Pudgy birds may migrate faster = Bustard (a gypsy drifter): "I'm game!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Kim Yu-na wins gold in women's figure skating with new world record

(Yonhap News Agency)

















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Kim Yu-na wins gold in women's figure skating with new world record = WOW!! Rink gem! S.Korea's unmatched wonder girl won in swing fluidity!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why won't anyone clean me?

(The Wall Street Journal)

















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Why won't anyone clean the fridge? = Hey -- we few can't do nearly nothing.

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Passengers who flew with accused Christmas Day bomber speak out

(CNN)

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Passengers who flew with accused Christmas Day bomber speak out = "Chump passes gas. He blew his dirty underwear. Tobacco smoke wafts..."

(by Jeffrey Barnes)