Obama says he will push for education overhaul

(Reuters)

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Obama says he will push for education overhaul = Oh, 'Hawaiian' Pres. may revalue doubtful schools!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Man sues airline for not looking at his scrotum

(Toronto Sun)

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Man sues airline for not looking at his scrotum = Information on Marcel's glorious nuts? Shake it!

(by Adie Pena)

Carlos Slim overtakes Bill Gates in world rich list

(BBC News)

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Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest man = The Carlos Slim billions negate nerd's growth

(by Tony Crafter)

Google to digitise ancient Italian books

(BBC News)

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Google to digitise ancient Italian books = OK! It's a big one 'cos I got Galileo, Dante in it!

(by Adie Pena)

I slapped pupils, admits Pope's brother

(The Independent)

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I slapped pupils, admits Pope's brother = Parable's PS to Dope's RIP: "Help! I'm stupid!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Texas judge says death penalty unconstitutional

(WorldNews)

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Texas judge says death penalty unconstitutional = "USA's duty to get up, and axe nasty lethal injections!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Seal meat to be on menu at Canadian Parliament

(Yahoo! News)

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Seal meat to be on menu at Canadian Parliament = EU enacted a ban on sea animal in moral attempt

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Levin to Replace Rangel as Ways and Means Chairman

(The New York Times)

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Levin to Replace Rangel as Ways and Means Chairman = No sir, he can't remain; new man already clasps a gavel!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Lord Ashcroft faces new claims of tax avoidance

(The Guardian)

















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Michael Anthony Ashcroft = Tory cash machine? Not half!

(by David Bourke)

Elgar £20 note no longer legal tender

(Yahoo! Finance)

















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Legal tender = Let Elgar end

(by Chris Sturdy)

The Oscars: Kathryn Bigelow makes history as The Hurt Locker dominates

(The Times)

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The U.S. film director Kathryn Bigelow = "The Hurt Locker" wins big time for lady!

(by Adie Pena)

Liberals, atheists more highly evolved?

(National Geographic)

















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Liberals, atheists are more highly evolved? = "Hell, yes -- better lovers also!" I raved (I am high).

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Vatican Hit by Gay Sex Scandal

(Huffington Post)

















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Vatican hit by gay sex scandal = Classy gent via handy taxicab

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Millions of Toyotas Recalled, None in Japan

(The New York Times)

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Millions of Toyotas Recalled, None in Japan = No! Ride not in a local lemon. Jalopy isn't safe!

(by Adie Pena)

President Hosni Mubarak Surgery Successful, Say Egyptian State Media

(VOA News)

















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President Hosni Mubarak Surgery Successful, Say Egyptian State Media = Guy's space-age pyramid is built. No death mask as yet in recurrent fusses.

(by Maurice Goddard)

It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs

(Yahoo! News)

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It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs = No, sir! Ah, it was NOT a fictitious dreadful episode!

(by Adie Pena)

What's a Nice Girl Doing in This Hole?

(The New York Times)

















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"What's a Nice Girl Doing in This Hole?" by Manohla Dargis = Ooh, is a big, ghastly, nightmarish "Alice in Wonderland"!

(by Adie Pena)

Romney on Palin: "Be Careful... She Has a Rifle"

(The Nation)

















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Romney on Palin: "Be Careful... She Has a Rifle" = Ya, she can fire on her bullies from a plane!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Romney on Palin: "Be Careful... She Has a Rifle" = 'Nobly' Sarah - perilous female. Hen can fire!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Happy People Talk More, and With More Substance

(Yahoo! News)

















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Happy People Talk More, and With More Substance = Shallow make epithets on paper and by computer?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

UN Chief Urges Gender Equality on International Women's Day

(VOA News)


















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UN Chief Urges Gender Equality on International Women's Day = Eager in intents, confounded queer Mullahs ignore it anyway.

(by Maurice Goddard)