Obese mothers-to-be pose problems

(Yahoo! News)

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NHS maternity units are struggling to cope with the growing number of obese pregnant women. = Grunting orgasms now! One terrific plump twenty-nine stone mother-to-be, was bigger than huge!

(by Maurice Goddard)

British Airways cabin crew strike begins

(The Guardian)

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The British Airways cabin crew have gone on strike. = Their hare-brain wish being to wreck vacations? Yes.

(by Tony Crafter)

British Airways Strike Begins

(The New York Times)

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British Airways goes on strike = O, it's a big war in the sorry skies!

(by Adie Pena)

Opposition 'Day of Anger' in Russia

(Yahoo! News)

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Opposition 'Day of Anger' in Russia = Noisy agonies! Poor Putin's afraid?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Lady Gaga Is Sued

(The New York Times)

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Lady Gaga Is Sued = Gal's ad guy's idea?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Jessica Simpson investigates standards of beauty

(NewsOK)

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Jessica Simpson investigates standards of beauty = "Stage joy paid fast, as I'd ban Miss Universe contests!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ashton, in Gaza, condemns violence after fatal rocket

(Yahoo! News)

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Ashton, in Gaza, condemns violence after fatal rocket = An earnest old conflict of revenge: Hamas attack Zion!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Irish Catholic head apologises over child abuse row

(Yahoo! News)

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Irish Catholic head apologises over child abuse row = Hoo-ha is his road. Believe such geriatric codswallop?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Republicans howling as Dems muddle through various options of health care reform bill

(New York Daily News)

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Republicans howling as Dems muddle through various options of health care reform bill = Driven hard in the loud plight, Obama follows GOP's chronic bullshit measure for measure!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Nina Maria Kleivan dressed up baby as Hitler, Stalin and Saddam as part of 'evil doers' photo essay

(New York Daily News)

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Nina Maria Kleivan dressed up baby as Hitler, Stalin and Saddam as part of 'evil doers' photo essay = Piss as depraved kiddy passion? Yasser Arafat, Ivan the Terrible, Osama bin Laden, and Mullahs too!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tiger Woods to come back to active golf at the Augusta Masters

(Thaindian News)

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The US Masters Tournament, Augusta National Golf Club, Georgia = A return of a long-absent Tiger to a usual gig means much to a... slut.

(by Adie Pena)

World's oldest person? Vodka-drinking 129-year-old Georgian woman makes record bid

(Daily Mail)



















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World's oldest person? Vodka-drinking 129-year-old Georgian woman makes record bid = Lord! 29.1 kilo raw skin and bone groggy old crone snored, amid Vodka's sweet RIP dream!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mountain lion roaming Santa Fe

(KRQE)

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Mountain lion roaming Santa Fe = An animal's no gift on main route!
Mountain lion roaming Santa Fe = Aim is NOT an afternoon mauling!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Mountain lion roaming Santa Fe = Animal (man's foe?) touring nation

(by Pinchas Aronas)

Chemical in Bananas Might Combat HIV Infection

(BusinessWeek)

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Chemical in Bananas Might Combat HIV Infection? = Hi! Can't combat fain Catholic men in misbehaving!

(by Maurice Goddard)

World's Shortest Man Pingping Dies Aged 21

(Yahoo! News)

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World's Shortest Man Pingping Dies Aged 21 = 21 timed gongs ended his last worn gasp. RIP

(by Maurice Goddard)

Heel op ends Beckham World Cup record bid

(Yahoo! News)

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Heel op ends Beckham World Cup record bid = Drop hope, when lame soccer duck dribbled!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes split

(BBC News)

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Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes split = Well-spent times? Sad and mistaken.

(by Adie Pena)

British actress Kate Winslet splits from husband

(AP)

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British actress Kate Winslet splits from husband = Star script as a film's blue twist; Both need shrinks!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tropical Cyclone Tomas slams Fiji

(CNN)

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Tropical Cyclone Tomas slams Fiji = Impact is not jolly as forces claim!

(by Maurice Goddard)

British pair faces jail time in Dubai over kiss

(Reuters)
British pair faces jail time in Dubai over kiss

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British pair faces jail time in Dubai over kiss = Demure Arabs jail if kissin' is prohibitive act

(by Aronas Pinchas)