Prince William and Kate to get engaged

(Daily Telegraph)

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Prince William and Kate to get engaged = "A parading elegant king-elect: I'm to wed!"
Prince William and Kate to get engaged? = Pair met, giggle, and talk in: "We need a cot!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Iran ridicules Obama's nuclear strategy

(AP)

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Iran ridicules Obama's nuclear strategy = All you Americans great disturbance, sir

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Treat your body like a temple, worship it: Bipasha Basu

(Daily News & Analysis)

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Treat your body like a temple, worship it: Bipasha Basu = As a UK pub patriot, that's how I sip. I adore my beer belly!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Has Rome Lost Faith in the Pope

(The Daily Beast)

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Has Rome Lost Faith in the Pope? = 'Holiest Pomp' on Earth is fat, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

How Brown could still be laughing all the way back to Downing Street

(The Independent)

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How Brown could still be laughing all the way back to Downing Street = Wet gag? Huh! The clown could ask Bill Gates, and borrow twenty billion?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Science Weekly: What are animals thinking?

(The Guardian)

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Science Weekly: What are animals thinking? = Hi! Like seeing my cat can answer, when I talk?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Aishwarya Rai - the empress of the Bollywood

(The Siasat Daily)

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Aishwarya Rai - the empress of the Bollywood = Oh! Wow! She's a reality of a terribly posh dame!

(by Maurice Goddard)

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Aishwarya Rai - the empress of the Bollywood = Ooh, she elite player of raw dramas with boys!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Can eating junk food really be an addiction?

(Time)

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Can eating junk food really be an addiction? = Can't I enjoy a Diet Coke in full abandon? Drag!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Bond girl Olga Kurylenko vows never to date Russian men

(Daily News & Analysis)

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Bond girl Olga Kurylenko vows never to date Russian men = "Well, our guys? Almost never sober on drinking neat Vodka!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

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Bond girl Olga Kurylenko vows never to date Russian men = Sensible gal: Our wanton men/guys err - love to drink vodka

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Pope hailed as 'unfailing' leader at Easter Mass

(AP)

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Pope hailed as 'unfailing' leader at Easter Mass = Dementia slurs faster in a paedophile age, alas.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Williams Hits Out At Irish Church Over Abuse

(Yahoo! News)

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Williams Hits Out At Irish Church Over Abuse = We hiss: "Ritual Catholic misbehaviour hurts!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Could This Be The Real Face of Jesus Christ?

(Yahoo! News)

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Could This Be The Real Face of Jesus Christ? = Just a crucified halo reflects the sobs, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Karzai outburst exposes Kabul's rift with West

(Reuters)

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Karzai outburst exposes Kabul's rift with West = It's fast work! Extra zealous twit pukes rubbish!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Besigye not scared of arrest

(New Vision)

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Besigye not scared of arrest = Reacts by no regrets of ideas

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Judge: Bush overstepped wiretapping authority

(The San Francisco Chronicle)

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Judge: Bush overstepped wiretapping authority = "Just beat the dirty eavesdropping rogue up! Whip!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

I am proud to be gay, says pop star Ricky Martin

(BBC News)

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The singer Enrique "Ricky" Martin Morales... = ...remarks, "One thing, sir, I'm certainly queer!"

(by Adie Pena)

Suicide bombers kill at least 37 in Moscow subway

(National Post)

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Suicide bombers kill at least thirty seven in Moscow subway = Bad blast blows many their Muscovites. Likewise, no security.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

US, Russia reach new arms control deal

(CNN)

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US, Russia reach new arms control deal = So, do crush war-time nuclear arsenals!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Tiger Woods' adultery: The scientific defense

(Salon)

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Tiger Woods' adultery: The scientific defense = It glorifies the screwiest tendency of a dude!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Talk to your baby (using real words)... it boosts their brain

(Daily Mail)

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Talk to your baby (using real words)... it boosts their brain = Why risk, go oral...don't babble, utter to your bairns as it is.

(by Aronas Pinchas)