Susan Boyle in airport rant at niece.

(Now Magazine)

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Susan Magdalane Boyle = Sadly, so unmanageable.

(by Tony Crafter)

Palin blasts Democrats, media

(USA Today)

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Palin blasts Democrats, media = Madam still beats "I can do" Pres.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Predator priests shuffled around globe

(Yahoo! News)

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Predator priests shuffled around globe = God, stop blunders! I fear for the pure lads!


Predator priests shuffled around globe = People suffer; the old dour bastard grins!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Sod the lot': UKIP launches campaign but pledges not to fight Eurosceptic candidates

(Daily Mail)

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UKIP's slogan "Sod the lot!" = "Sunk at the polls" is good

(by David Bourke)

'South Park' Duo Hits 200th - And Broadway

(Deadline New York)

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The producers Trey Parker and Matt Stone = Partners met; do create trendy "South Park"

(by Adie Pena)

New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life

(Fox News)

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New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life = Well, nympho had illicit affairs! Well ensnared eh?


New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life = The nice and sillier nympho had affairs. Well well!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tiger Woods finishes 4th at Masters

(Breaking Sports)

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Tiger Woods finishes fourth at Masters = The man's disastrous effort with orgies?

(by Adie Pena)

Every Black Hole Contains Another Universe?

(National Geographic)

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Every black hole contains another universe = Ah, research likes to be very unconventional!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Richard Dawkins wants to arrest the Pope

(The Good Atheist)

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Richard Dawkins wants to arrest the Pope = Dapper atheist with warrant on Red Socks

(by Mark McNamara)

Gordon Brown due to launch Labour manifesto

(BBC News)

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Gordon Brown due to launch Labour manifesto = Cameron: "War! I'll rub and boot the unsound goof!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

No faking! Simpson sans makeup

(MSNBC)

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No faking! Simpson sans makeup = Masks mask a fine pin-up on song!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ahead of nuclear talks, Obama sees foreign leaders

(AP)

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Ahead of nuclear talks, Obama sees foreign leaders = All Heads agree to an offer - America's nuke-deal boss!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict XVI

(The Times)

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Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict XVI = We'd risk a partial win in child sex probe verdict

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict XVI = Terrible sex rap. I'd whip Vatican's weird Old Nick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Richard Dawkins: I will arrest Pope Benedict = Whirlwind attack on Padre describes peril, I

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Republicans Weighing Party's Message

(The New York Times)

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Republicans weighing party's message = My! Seeing her, gasbag Palin screws it up!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Republicans weighing party's message = Palin's speech gigs must be WAY angrier!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time

(The Hindustan Times)

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Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time = Not mortality - try Alzheimer of the brain!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

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Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time = Boy! Hot flirt. Matrimony tantalizer here!

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Elizabeth Taylor to marry for ninth time = Merry horizontal tomb reality, if a tenth?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Polish President Killed in Plane Crash

(VOA News)

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Polish President Killed in Plane Crash = I, Poland's leader Lech K., splinter in ship

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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Polish president killed in plane crash = Sinister end appalled in shock. He'll RIP.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead

(BBC News)

Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead = Our grieving wife's tears run, as if mined diamonds.


Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead = Did mine staff ignore various warnings? Erm...I'd sue!

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Four missing West Virginia miners are found dead = A wide unanimous "Disaster!" from grieving friends

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Germany has no doubt Greece can refinance its debts

(Reuters)

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Germany has no doubt Greece can refinance its debts = Athens can be biggest trade, can find money resource

(by Aronas Pinchas)

US-Russia pact is one small step closer to nuclear Utopia

(The Times)

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US-Russia pact is one small step closer to nuclear Utopia = USA politics pulse, to curse our planet's atomic arsenals!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Legal fight over Plumpy'nut, the hunger wonder-product

(BBC News)

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Nutriset's Plumpy'nut = Must supply nutrient!

(by Adie Pena)