'If I were Prime Minister...'

(BBC News)

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What's the one thing you would do if you were Prime Minister? = Huh? With my wife - a Tory muse - I'd pee in our Downing Street loo!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mount Everest 'death zone' set for a spring clean up

(Yahoo! News)

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Mount Everest 'death zone' set for a spring clean up = Sherpa stunt could get a frozen item, even a person!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Nick Clegg could do with another walk in the countryside

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Nick Clegg could do with another walk in the countryside = Well-to-do chronic atheist chuckled: "Winning trudge. Okay?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Airport Disruptions from Ash Cloud 'Worse Than 9/11,' Says European Airline Group

(Cybercast News Service)

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Ash cloud shuts down the European airlines = Oh, Iceland eruption unleashes southwards!

(by Adie Pena)

Bill Clinton: Hillary and I are too old to be appointed to the Supreme Court

(New York Daily News)

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Bill Clinton: Hillary and I are too old to be appointed to the Supreme Court = He can't pilot & please another trollop Monica on duty (libido-trouble, tired)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Airport Crisis Frustrates Travelers, and Airlines

(The New York Times)

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Airport Crisis Frustrates Travelers, and Airlines = Sit, lie, rest sir - no aircrafts departures 'n' arrivals

(by Aronas Pinchas)

U.S. Must Start to Rein In the Deficit, Fed Chief Says

(The New York Times)

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U.S. Must Start to Rein In the Deficit, Fed Chief Says = Terrific! Aim at cuts in the seedy dishonest stuff.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Obama Promises Renewed Space Program

(The New York Times)

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Obama promises renewed space program = Grab speed, America, Me propose 'Mars now'!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Chocolate may be good medicine for liver patients

(Yahoo! News)

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Chocolate may be good medicine for liver patients = Cool! I'm given peril from diabetes, acne, tooth decay!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Why Is 50 Cent Removing His Tattoos?

(People)

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Why Is Fifty Cent Removing His Tattoos? = Ministry vow? Nay, to get it off his chest!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Toyota suspends sales of Lexus GX 460 worldwide

(BBC News)

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Toyota suspends sales of Lexus GX 460 worldwide = Ax 640 lousy rods! Tests would expose design flaw.

(by Adie Pena)

Susan Boyle in airport rant at niece.

(Now Magazine)

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Susan Magdalane Boyle = Sadly, so unmanageable.

(by Tony Crafter)

Palin blasts Democrats, media

(USA Today)

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Palin blasts Democrats, media = Madam still beats "I can do" Pres.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Predator priests shuffled around globe

(Yahoo! News)

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Predator priests shuffled around globe = God, stop blunders! I fear for the pure lads!


Predator priests shuffled around globe = People suffer; the old dour bastard grins!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Sod the lot': UKIP launches campaign but pledges not to fight Eurosceptic candidates

(Daily Mail)

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UKIP's slogan "Sod the lot!" = "Sunk at the polls" is good

(by David Bourke)

'South Park' Duo Hits 200th - And Broadway

(Deadline New York)

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The producers Trey Parker and Matt Stone = Partners met; do create trendy "South Park"

(by Adie Pena)

New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life

(Fox News)

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New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life = Well, nympho had illicit affairs! Well ensnared eh?


New Tell-All Claims Oprah Winfrey Has 'Hidden' Life = The nice and sillier nympho had affairs. Well well!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tiger Woods finishes 4th at Masters

(Breaking Sports)

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Tiger Woods finishes fourth at Masters = The man's disastrous effort with orgies?

(by Adie Pena)

Every Black Hole Contains Another Universe?

(National Geographic)

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Every black hole contains another universe = Ah, research likes to be very unconventional!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Richard Dawkins wants to arrest the Pope

(The Good Atheist)

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Richard Dawkins wants to arrest the Pope = Dapper atheist with warrant on Red Socks

(by Mark McNamara)