Celine Dion pregnant with twins

(The Irish Independent)


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Celine Dion pregnant with twins = "Pliant, we end in christening two!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Adventurer flies across Channel in helium filled balloons

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Adventurer flies across Channel in helium filled balloons = American daredevil, hell-bent on flashiness in full colours!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Woman sues airline for leaving her asleep in seat

(Yahoo! News)


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Woman sues airline for leaving her asleep in seat = Tale awes me as our heroine, a sniveling flier, naps

(by Donald Griffith)

Bill Clinton has evolved into Obama's Mr. Fix-It

(Washington Post)


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Bill Clinton has evolved into Obama's Mr. Fix-It = "I'm Monica's still vibrant, enviable, hot old fox!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Malawi's President Pardons Gay Couple

(The New York Times)


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Malawi's President Pardons Gay Couple = As a grey mad relic, Pope snaps "I wouldn't!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin Erects Fence To Keep New Neighbor Out

(The New York Times)


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Sarah Palin Erects Fence To Keep New Neighbor Out = A chicken run fort? People now see age's battier hen!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brush teeth twice a day 'to prevent heart disease'

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Brush teeth twice a day 'to prevent heart disease' = Apt is thrice, and you've the sweetest breath, dear!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Berlusconi quotes Mussolini, laments lack of power

(Reuters)


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Berlusconi quotes Mussolini, laments lack of power = Moron's fascist! Bloke's an ill, queer, impetuous clown.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville unveiled

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville unveiled = Small, comic, undeveloped, and mentally sick, on view!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'American Idol': DeWyze wins, but Bowersox has more intriguing future

(Chicago Tribune)


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The new American Idol? = I'm certain Lee had won!

(by Adie Pena)

Inter-Korean crisis: Propaganda fight

(BBC News)


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Inter-Korean crisis = One certain risk, sir!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Thai film pulls off Cannes shock

(BBC News)

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"Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives" = Oh, as Cannes will love much one real best pic!

(by Adie Pena)

Dearborn's Miss Michigan wins Miss USA pageant

(Free Press)


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Dearborn's Miss Michigan wins Miss USA pageant = Smashing Arab American's swimsuit's posing end!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Palin says Obama would ban guns if he could

(AP)


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Palin says Obama would ban guns if he could = Ah! GOP woman's lunacy's fabulous, laid in bed!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Movie review: 'Robin Hood' is all over the Sherwood Forest

(Los Angeles Times)


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Movie review: 'Robin Hood' is all over the Sherwood Forest = O! Emotions! The devilish arrow-bow hero is forever loved!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt

(Yahoo! News)


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Man Fights For Life After Slug-Eating Stunt = Limit that fatal 'n' effing gross 'fun' gesture

(by Chris Sturdy)

With food allergies, much is said but little is known, conclude researchers

(Los Angeles Times)


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With food allergies, much is said but little is known, conclude researchers = In wildest theories, crude soluble chemical filth and sugar in Coke's worst!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope Benedict says giant Mass at Fatima shrine

(BBC News)


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Pope Benedict says giant Mass at Fatima shrine = Sin erased, Pope beams: "My giant hat is fantastic!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gordon Brown lives for others - we will not see his like again

(The Daily Mirror)


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Gordon Brown lives for others - we will not see his like again = Hi! In retiring now, berserk fellow avoids the gallows' noose!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ten Ways Christians Tend to Fail at Being Christian

(Huffington Post)


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Ten ways Christians tend to fail at being Christian = Real cynic: "And wait -- that's in fingers. It isn't toes. Bah!"

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

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Ten Ways Christians Tend to Fail at Being Christian = Against Catholic Father sinners in twenty, it is bad!

(by Maurice Goddard)