BP boss under fire for 'idiotic' remarks as slick reaches Florida beaches

(The Independent)


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The CEO of British Petroleum Tony Hayward = Hey, better worry. Placed a foot in his mouth.

(by Adie Pena)

Pope Benedict blames 'sin inside the church' for Vatican woes

(Christian Science Monitor)


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Pope Benedict blames 'sin inside the church' for Vatican woes = Oh! Bitten bad, capricious cad never shows penitence himself!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Exploring Music's Hold on the Mind

(The New York Times)


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Exploring Music's Hold on the Mind = Oh! Lord! Minds exult in Chopin gems

(by Maurice Goddard)

Rod Blagojevich's day in court arrives

(Yahoo! News)


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Rod Blagojevich's day in court arrives = Chicago baddy's on trial--revive jurors!

(by Don Griffith)

Richard Burton threatened to kill himself if Elizabeth Taylor left him

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Richard Burton threatened to kill himself if Elizabeth Taylor left him = Frail time, eh? The Last, Heartbroken Third Act: "Oh! But for Liz, I'll end my life!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Women Smokers Targeted on 'World No Tobacco Day'

(BusinessWeek)


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Women Smokers Targeted on 'World No Tobacco Day' = Retort was: "Doom! Smoke, and get bloody cancer now!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

BP Tries Again to Divert Oil Leak With Dome

(The New York Times)


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BP Tries Again to Divert Oil Leak With Dome = A bad omen: topkill idiots regather, view it

(by Don Griffith)

Netanyahu cancels upcoming meeting with Obama

(CNN)

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Netanyahu cancels upcoming meeting with Obama = Oh, yet no change in PM image, but Uncle Sam can wait!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Today it's hard to stop paying the price of fame

(The Times)


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Today it's hard to stop paying the price of fame = The Pope got paid for his scatty orated infamy!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Celine Dion pregnant with twins

(The Irish Independent)


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Celine Dion pregnant with twins = "Pliant, we end in christening two!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Adventurer flies across Channel in helium filled balloons

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Adventurer flies across Channel in helium filled balloons = American daredevil, hell-bent on flashiness in full colours!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Woman sues airline for leaving her asleep in seat

(Yahoo! News)


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Woman sues airline for leaving her asleep in seat = Tale awes me as our heroine, a sniveling flier, naps

(by Donald Griffith)

Bill Clinton has evolved into Obama's Mr. Fix-It

(Washington Post)


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Bill Clinton has evolved into Obama's Mr. Fix-It = "I'm Monica's still vibrant, enviable, hot old fox!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Malawi's President Pardons Gay Couple

(The New York Times)


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Malawi's President Pardons Gay Couple = As a grey mad relic, Pope snaps "I wouldn't!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin Erects Fence To Keep New Neighbor Out

(The New York Times)


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Sarah Palin Erects Fence To Keep New Neighbor Out = A chicken run fort? People now see age's battier hen!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brush teeth twice a day 'to prevent heart disease'

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Brush teeth twice a day 'to prevent heart disease' = Apt is thrice, and you've the sweetest breath, dear!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Berlusconi quotes Mussolini, laments lack of power

(Reuters)


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Berlusconi quotes Mussolini, laments lack of power = Moron's fascist! Bloke's an ill, queer, impetuous clown.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville unveiled

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville unveiled = Small, comic, undeveloped, and mentally sick, on view!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'American Idol': DeWyze wins, but Bowersox has more intriguing future

(Chicago Tribune)


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The new American Idol? = I'm certain Lee had won!

(by Adie Pena)

Inter-Korean crisis: Propaganda fight

(BBC News)


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Inter-Korean crisis = One certain risk, sir!

(by Aronas Pinchas)