Five things you're wasting your money on

(Lovemoney)


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It's easy to waste money. So here are five ways to stop throwing your money down the drain... = Aha! To every guy, I'd say: Hesitate! + Don't woo pretty women + No whores + No wife, or any mistress!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Levi Johnston: Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska?

(CBS News)


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Levi Johnston: Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? = A joke? A fantasy? Allow his lovin' morals?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Missing French chef's body found stuffed in freezer

(CNN)


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Missing French chef's body found stuffed in freezer = Frenzied sniffer dogs nosed him, crunch beefy stuff.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Abbey Clancy will forgive Peter Crouch

(STV)


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Peter Crouch and Abigail Clancy = A celebrity coupling. An arch cad!

(by Tony Crafter)

Archaeologists unearth Britain's oldest house

(Channel 4)


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Archaeologists unearth Britain's oldest house = Stone Age shelter, so built as such. Oh! Not air-raid.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why Sarah Palin says all those stupid and ridiculous things

(Slate.com)


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Why Sarah Palin says all those stupid and ridiculous things = Hi, cos' doltish unhandy lady lies, twists usual paraphrasing!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Why give milk to children

(BBC)


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Why give milk to children? = Hm? Nice lively kid growth?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Clue to getting a good night's sleep discovered

(BBC)


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Clue to getting a good night's sleep discovered = She giggled: "Vetted secret's in good copulation!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Robbie Williams 'marries Ayda Field in Los Angeles'

(NME)


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Robbie Williams 'marries Ayda Field in Los Angeles' = Singer's wife is a "Million Dollar Baby" - A male desire!

(by Maurice Goddard)

At Hiroshima Ceremony, a First for a U.S. Envoy

(The New York Times)


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At Hiroshima Ceremony, a First for a U.S. Envoy = Eye as a sin, Forty-five's human atomic horror.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Wayne Rooney smoking and urinating in the street: it's no wonder United hero is out of puff

(Daily Mail)


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Wayne Rooney smoking and urinating in the street: it's no wonder United hero is out of puff = Puny moron seen showing off here! Arrogant weed! Snotty nut! Infinite nit! A true, odious kid.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Peace won't come soon to Middle East

(Ottawa Citizen)


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Peace won't come soon to Middle East = We (Semites) concede to 'A plan to doom'

(by Aronas Pinchas)

How to spot the early signs of dementia

(The Daily Telegraph)


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How to spot the early signs of dementia = Onset's nasty, eh pet? I forget how old I am!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Senate Confirms Kagan to Supreme Court

(Bloomberg)


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Senate Confirms Kagan to Supreme Court = No true arguments, no fear. OK, accept miss!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'Churchill, Eisenhower covered up RAF plane's UFO encounter'

(The Times of India)


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'Churchill, Eisenhower covered up RAF plane's UFO encounter' = UFO's hardline chronicle then: "Cup 'n' Saucer Flew Over Europe!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Clone Concerns: Britain Worries About Milk Supply

(Time)


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Clone Concerns: Britain Worries About Milk Supply = Butter irony in cow clones: Bulls skip pair romance!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama says Iraq war will end 'on schedule'

(The Independent)


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Obama says Iraq war will end 'on schedule' = Queasy wind down? Or "Allah bless America"?!

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Obama says Iraq war will end 'on schedule' = A square showdown. America's blind alley?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Is Vitaminwater Really a Healthy Drink?

(Time)

 
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Is Vitaminwater Really a Healthy Drink? = Elderly rave: "Ah! Trial man? It ain't whisky!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Even stupid people have feelings - let's end this bigotry

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Even stupid people have feelings - let's end this bigotry = Spy the self-evident steep pain live, in dolt George Bush!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Accepting That Good Parents May Plant Bad Seeds

(The New York Times)


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Accepting that good parents may plant bad seeds = Lots tag scatty Pope Benedict's ma and pa grand, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)