Hundreds Protest Over 'Ground Zero Mosque'

(Sky News)


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Hundreds Protest Over 'Ground Zero Mosque' = Rendezvous to dump horror's grotesque end

(by Maurice Goddard)

Egg salmonella cases spark lawsuits

(USA Today)


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The egg salmonella cases = Eat clean meal, slosh eggs

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'True Blood' stars say 'I do'

(Boston Herald)


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'True Blood' stars say 'I do' = ...so a rosy-red old bat suit

(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Eggs and salmonella: What you need to know

(Los Angeles Times)


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Eggs and salmonella: What you need to know = Omelets soon dawn hell and wake gut agony!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cult of less: Living out of a hard drive

(BBC)


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Cult of less: Living out of a hard drive = Hi! Virtual soul addicts never log off!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Michael battles throat cancer and Zeta fights to keep family together

(Daily Mail)


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Star, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones = Jeez! Throat cancer diagnosis haunts lead male.

(by Tony Crafter)

U.S. Catholic church faces new pedophilia lawsuit

(Canada.com)


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U.S. Catholic church faces new pedophilia lawsuit = Awful case crunch hit a caustic ill Pope, who hides.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Monster Rat Shot Dead On Housing Estate

(Sky News)



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Monster Rat Shot Dead On Housing Estate = "Human asset then? Rodent's good to eat, sir!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tea Party Choice Scrambles in Taking on Reid in Nevada

(The New York Times)


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Tea Party Choice Scrambles in Taking On Reid in Nevada = Beck denied mania, anticipates Sharron Angle victory.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

The man who 'sees' Virgin Mary every day

(BBC News)


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The man who 'sees' Virgin Mary every day = Why? It's Heaven's Merry Maiden Voyager!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Major archaeological find at site of Civil War prison

(CNN)


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Major archaeological find at site of Civil War prison = Location of a dire horrific jail is Camp Lawton's grave

(by Maurice Goddard)

First lady joins official ranks of Venice's gondoliers

(BBC)


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First lady joins official ranks of Venice's gondoliers = Gondolieress, fair in tan, drives folk off in classic joy!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Five things you're wasting your money on

(Lovemoney)


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It's easy to waste money. So here are five ways to stop throwing your money down the drain... = Aha! To every guy, I'd say: Hesitate! + Don't woo pretty women + No whores + No wife, or any mistress!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Levi Johnston: Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska?

(CBS News)


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Levi Johnston: Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? = A joke? A fantasy? Allow his lovin' morals?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Missing French chef's body found stuffed in freezer

(CNN)


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Missing French chef's body found stuffed in freezer = Frenzied sniffer dogs nosed him, crunch beefy stuff.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Abbey Clancy will forgive Peter Crouch

(STV)


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Peter Crouch and Abigail Clancy = A celebrity coupling. An arch cad!

(by Tony Crafter)

Archaeologists unearth Britain's oldest house

(Channel 4)


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Archaeologists unearth Britain's oldest house = Stone Age shelter, so built as such. Oh! Not air-raid.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why Sarah Palin says all those stupid and ridiculous things

(Slate.com)


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Why Sarah Palin says all those stupid and ridiculous things = Hi, cos' doltish unhandy lady lies, twists usual paraphrasing!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Why give milk to children

(BBC)


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Why give milk to children? = Hm? Nice lively kid growth?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Clue to getting a good night's sleep discovered

(BBC)


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Clue to getting a good night's sleep discovered = She giggled: "Vetted secret's in good copulation!"

(by Maurice Goddard)