US woman aims to become world's heaviest

(The Daily Telegraph)


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US woman aims to become world's heaviest = Let's view: Obese cow's a mammoth dinosaur!!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

US woman aims to become world's heaviest = I sum: Sow dreams to become leviathan-sow

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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US woman aims to become world's heaviest = Cow smiles: "Deem a show! It's a bum, over a ton!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Who'd want to bag these royal oddballs for in-laws?

(Daily Mail)


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Who'd want to bag these royal oddballs for in-laws? = Well, what a goal! Only odd Brits who are daft snobs?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Huge volcanic blast spurs more Indonesians to flee

(Yahoo! News)


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Mount Merapi, Indonesia = Is one main mad eruption!

(by Adie Pena)

Obama Invites Republican Leaders to Dinner

(The New York Times)


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Obama invites Republican leaders to dinner = "In eve celebration, brain-dead Mrs Palin's *OUT*!"


Obama invites Republican leaders to dinner = O! Brainier Beaten Dude in Social Lament. RSVP.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Feast Your Eyes On World's Biggest Choc Bar

(Sky News)


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Feast Your Eyes On World's Biggest Choc Bar = Gobbling a few, secures tooth's sorry decay!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brown's history, personality lead to victory

(Los Angeles Times)


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Brown's history, personality lead to victory = Old, starry politician very noteworthy boss

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Obama fights to save Democratic majorities on Election Day

(CNN)


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Obama fights to save Democratic majorities on Election Day = "I am a gritty advocate. I notice the mood of jobless Americans!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man Dies Of Caffeine Overdose

(Fox DC)


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Man dies of caffeine overdose = Said in fear: "Even coffee dooms!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Disney star Demi Lovato enters treatment center

(Yahoo! News)


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Disney star Demi Lovato enters treatment center = To calm a very tormented, stressed itinerant teen.

(by Adie Pena)

Alcohol Is Most Harmful Drug, Followed By Heroin And Crack

(Medical News Today)


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Alcohol is most harmful drug, followed by heroin and crack = Alcoholic drink: such mean harm, bloody drugs follow after

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Graduate jobless rate at new high

(The Daily Mirror)


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Graduate jobless rate at new high = A degree be worth, 'just a thing', alas.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Playboy Berlusconi won't change

(The Hindustan Times)


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Playboy Berlusconi won't change = Italy's grubby cheap clown No.One!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Putin's Left Eye Appears to Need a Cold Compress

(The New York Times)


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Putin’s Left Eye Appears to Need a Cold Compress = Top Russian sly-faced creep seemed pale, not top!

(by Maurice Goddard)

China claims supercomputer crown

(BBC)


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China claims supercomputer crown = Atomic power crunch, rips Uncle Sam!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tony Blair's sister-in-law converts to Islam

(The Guardian)


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Tony Blair's sister-in-law converts to Islam = Woman's story recalls blest visit into Iran

(by Dharam Khalsa)

What Cherie Blair's eBay shopping list reveals

(The Guardian)


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Cherie Blair has sold Tony's signature. Where? = Internet's eBay. Weird eh? Oh, our girl has class!

(by Tony Crafter)

Testing the Tea Party: Will the movement live or die?

(CNN)


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Testing the Tea Party: Will the movement live or die? = Titter in my esteemed, grave vote: "To hell with Palin!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Wayne Rooney labelled a 'whore'

(Metro)


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The Manchester United footballer Wayne Rooney = Neanderthal brute, lots of nice money, yet a whore.

(by Tony Crafter)

Cheryl Cole sobs in Piers Morgan interview and admits she still loves Ashley

(The Daily Mirror)


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Piers Morgan's interview with Cheryl Cole = Millions view & watch report, see her crying

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Michael Jackson top-earning dead celebrity - Forbes

(Yahoo! News)


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Michael Jackson top-earning dead celebrity - Forbes = Die??? An incredible late performance by Jacko's ghost!

(by Maurice Goddard)