Passengers thrilled to be on the dry land after 'Spamcation'

(Sun-Times)


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Passengers thrilled to be on the dry land after 'Spamcation' = Liner's ('old' craft's) settlement, happy end at San Diego harbor

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Scientists rewrite history of the planet's evolution

(The Herald)


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Scientists rewrite history of the planet's evolution = Winnie the Pooh says "It's clever if it's true? Let's trot on."

(by Maurice Goddard)

George Bush's memoir set for sales success

(The Guardian)


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George Bush's memoir set for sales success = Such stories! See gormless bore's smug face!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Taylor Swift named BMI songwriter of the year

(Yahoo! News)



Taylor Swift = First to yawl

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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BMI awards country song of the year "You belong with me" = Made by the young Taylor Swift! A newcomer's big honour!

(by Adie Pena)

Conan beats Leno in ratings

(Toronto Sun)


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Conan beats Leno in ratings = O'Brien sang: "On talents, I can!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

MGM studio seeks bankruptcy court approval

(Business & Leadership)


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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer has filed for bankruptcy = Sad end for truly great film company. Broke. Why?

(by Tony Crafter)

Church of England is 'like a coffee chain going out of business', defecting bishops warn

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Church of England is 'like a coffee chain going out of business', defecting bishops warn = Hi! Outbound where? Cheesed off Anglican rats go off a sinking ship, cubicle confessing!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Canonisation of Mary MacKillop

(ABC News)


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The Canonisation of Mary MacKillop = Many fans like a Catholic promotion

(by Andrew Brehaut)

Scotch Deal To Double Whisky Sales In China

(Sky News)


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Scotch deal to double whisky sales in China = Tiddly Chinese sink alcohol, so watch abuse!

(by Maurice Goddard)

One in three women toppling over because of passion for killer heels

(Daily Mail)


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One in three women toppling over because of passion for killer heels = If one falls, men race to help! Or love seeing up bonnier skirts? "Whoopee!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

US woman aims to become world's heaviest

(The Daily Telegraph)


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US woman aims to become world's heaviest = Let's view: Obese cow's a mammoth dinosaur!!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

US woman aims to become world's heaviest = I sum: Sow dreams to become leviathan-sow

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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US woman aims to become world's heaviest = Cow smiles: "Deem a show! It's a bum, over a ton!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Who'd want to bag these royal oddballs for in-laws?

(Daily Mail)


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Who'd want to bag these royal oddballs for in-laws? = Well, what a goal! Only odd Brits who are daft snobs?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Huge volcanic blast spurs more Indonesians to flee

(Yahoo! News)


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Mount Merapi, Indonesia = Is one main mad eruption!

(by Adie Pena)

Obama Invites Republican Leaders to Dinner

(The New York Times)


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Obama invites Republican leaders to dinner = "In eve celebration, brain-dead Mrs Palin's *OUT*!"


Obama invites Republican leaders to dinner = O! Brainier Beaten Dude in Social Lament. RSVP.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Feast Your Eyes On World's Biggest Choc Bar

(Sky News)


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Feast Your Eyes On World's Biggest Choc Bar = Gobbling a few, secures tooth's sorry decay!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brown's history, personality lead to victory

(Los Angeles Times)


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Brown's history, personality lead to victory = Old, starry politician very noteworthy boss

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Obama fights to save Democratic majorities on Election Day

(CNN)


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Obama fights to save Democratic majorities on Election Day = "I am a gritty advocate. I notice the mood of jobless Americans!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man Dies Of Caffeine Overdose

(Fox DC)


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Man dies of caffeine overdose = Said in fear: "Even coffee dooms!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Disney star Demi Lovato enters treatment center

(Yahoo! News)


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Disney star Demi Lovato enters treatment center = To calm a very tormented, stressed itinerant teen.

(by Adie Pena)

Alcohol Is Most Harmful Drug, Followed By Heroin And Crack

(Medical News Today)


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Alcohol is most harmful drug, followed by heroin and crack = Alcoholic drink: such mean harm, bloody drugs follow after

(by Aronas Pinchas)