World's smallest woman's joy at Guinness award

(The Daily Telegraph)


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World's smallest woman's joy at Guinness award = As adrenal "wows" run, midget's joy wasn't so small!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Prince William and Kate Middleton Are Enagaged!

(People)


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Prince William engaged to Kate Middleton = Coming, potential wedding - dreamlike tale!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Passenger Refuses Full Body Scan, the Groin Check

(CBS News)


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Passenger refuses full body scan, the groin check = You can't see his balls, check gruff person's gender!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Is Bill Clinton the new Mike Tyson? The latest Hangover will tell

(The Guardian)


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Is Bill Clinton the new Mike Tyson? The latest Hangover will tell = O! I'll list Monica Lewinsky's lover: "The hell-bent gent with talent!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Sarah Palin's Alaska': Running for president on reality TV?

(CNN)


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'Sarah Palin's Alaska': Running for president on reality TV? = As proven, all-stupid frontier-gal, has rank near insanity!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Heavens Above: Giant Jesus Finally Finished

(Sky News)


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Heavens Above: Giant Jesus Finally Finished = A jolly high, vain deaf naiveness, benefits us?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cats Beat Dogs In Table Manners

(PC Magazine)


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Cats beat dogs in table manners = Most darn canines beg at tables!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Paul and Rachel Chandler released by Somali pirates after 388 days

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Paul and Rachel released by the Somalian pirates = Sea tale: A deal buys Chandlers airplane trip home

(by Tony Crafter)

What Alcohol Actually Does to Your Brain and Body

(LifeHacker)


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What Alcohol Actually Does to Your Brain and Body = Tony Blair: "Ah! Oh! Boy! Actually, wonders to a loud cad!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

French Prime Minister Francois Fillon

(Reuters)


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French Prime Minister Francois Fillon = Chief can trim frills in pension reform!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Desire in the Twilight of Life

(The Wall Street Journal)


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Desire in the Twilight of Life = High relief, if wet, in "Let's do it!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Chinese workers build 15-story hotel in just six days

(Yahoo! News)


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Chinese workers build fifteen-story hotel in just six days = Short, deft job to luxury stylish residences - finis in a week

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Berlusconi at Risk With No-Confidence Motion

(The New York Times)


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Berlusconi at risk with no-confidence motion = First, we boo one dim Latin chicken out in scorn!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Paper plane launched into space captures Earth images

(BBC)


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Paper plane launched into space captures Earth images = Pressmen applaud the technical "Paperaeronautics Age"!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Myanmar frees opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi

(Los Angeles Times)


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Myanmar frees opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi = As I imagine, an ultrasupreme day, for one so spunky!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Herman Van Rompuy: 'Euroscepticism leads to war'

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Herman Van Rompuy: 'Euroscepticism leads to war' = An EU-wary pessimist, PM Cameron: "Lord! True havoc!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Passengers thrilled to be on the dry land after 'Spamcation'

(Sun-Times)


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Passengers thrilled to be on the dry land after 'Spamcation' = Liner's ('old' craft's) settlement, happy end at San Diego harbor

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Scientists rewrite history of the planet's evolution

(The Herald)


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Scientists rewrite history of the planet's evolution = Winnie the Pooh says "It's clever if it's true? Let's trot on."

(by Maurice Goddard)

George Bush's memoir set for sales success

(The Guardian)


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George Bush's memoir set for sales success = Such stories! See gormless bore's smug face!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Taylor Swift named BMI songwriter of the year

(Yahoo! News)



Taylor Swift = First to yawl

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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BMI awards country song of the year "You belong with me" = Made by the young Taylor Swift! A newcomer's big honour!

(by Adie Pena)