If it's Thanksgiving, you must be shopping

(Reuters)

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If it's Thanksgiving, you must be shopping = Thus thinking of massive buying? Stop, pig!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sarah Palin on Glenn Beck's radio show: 'We gotta stand with our North Korean allies'

(New York Daily News)


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Sarah Palin on Glenn Beck's radio show: 'We gotta stand with our North Korean allies' = Oops! A well known thing now, alas. A sorrier, loud-arse bonehead, can't think straight!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama Pardons Turkeys - but Not People

(CBS News)


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Obama Pardons Turkeys - but Not People = A superb parody, mate! Top bloke's no nut!

(by Maurice Goddard)

John Travolta and Kelly Preston welcome their son, Benjamin

(CNN)


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John Travolta and Kelly Preston welcome their son, Benjamin = An event's known thrill reaps a jolly moment, and both rejoice!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Fruits and Vegetables May Prolong Your Life

(WebMD)


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Fruits and vegetables may prolong your life = Great stuff ! So, I buy more, play and live longer!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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Fruits and vegetables may prolong your life = Anu Garg so inferred: "I've my potato bellyfuls!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

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Fruits and vegetables may prolong your life = Live purest fully, by doing free anagrams too!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Royal wedding: Prince William to marry Kate Middleton on Friday April 29, 2011

(The Daily Telegraph)


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On April twenty-ninth, two thousand and eleven, in Westminster Abbey, = When Bonny William weds a pretty hotter, suntanned bonniest native!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope says in book he would resign if incapacitated

(Reuters)


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Pope says in book he would resign if incapacitated = "I, being one old crock, a fat unhappy dope as I, it's wise."

(by Maurice Goddard)

UK to lend Ireland £7bn

(Financial Times)


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UK to lend Ireland seven billions = It's real - London even likes Dublin!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hillary Clinton Says She Won't Run Again for Elective Office

(Bloomberg)


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Hillary Clinton says She won't run again for elective office = "I'll choose to live years on in affluence, writing fancy trash!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

St. Louis tops list of most dangerous US cities

(Yahoo! News)


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Tops list of most dangerous US cities = Imperfect St. Louis's status is no good

(by Adie Pena)

Sarah Palin's 'America by Heart' sure to stir friends - and enemies

(Christian Science Monitor)


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Sarah Palin's 'America by Heart' sure to stir friends - and enemies = A finer sneer is: "Trash!! Primordial batty dame's a sheer nuisance!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mark Twain's Autobiography Flying Off the Shelves

(The New York Times)


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Mark Twain's autobiography flying off the shelves = 'A Vast Long Life Of Ink' by Tom Sawyer's high-up father

(by Maurice Goddard)

Royal wedding set to be bank holiday

(The Daily Telegraph)


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Royal wedding set to be bank holiday = Odd? Will, and rosy Kate, in the Abbey go.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Orlando Airport Moves to Ditch TSA Staff

(Newser)


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Orlando Airport Moves to Ditch TSA Staff = Hats off, MCO! A stand! Avoid terrorist plot

(by Michael Hammond)

Ahmadinejad warns against foreign interference in Iran's affairs

(Christian Science Monitor)


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Ahmadinejad warns against foreign interference in Iran's affairs = Sin if insane Tehran, again and again, rejects fine order, affirms war

(by Aronas Pinchas)

For Fab Four, a long and winding road to the iTunes Store

(Washington Post)


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For Fab Four, a long and winding road to the iTunes Store = Fan? Grin or win! I got around, to afford The Beatles' sound!

(by Maurice Goddard)

It's Official: Susan Boyle Now As Big As The Beatles

(Time)


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It's official: Susan Boyle now as big as The Beatles = A fab, beefy, able, sanguine Scottish soloist wails!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Bush's 'Decision Points' Is A Terrifying Journey Into the Authoritarian Mind

(Huffington Post)


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Bush's 'Decision Points' is a terrifying journey into the authoritarian mind = Hi! 'Joint Tyrant Decisions', by nuttier, paranoid, heinous, shiftier ignoramus!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Palin says she can beat Obama

(USA Today)


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Palin says she can beat Obama = Base: Ah, some typical bananas!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Can science prove we're psychic?

(MSNBC)


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Can science prove we're psychic? = We chirp: "Creepy cases convince!"

(by Maurice Goddard)