Wordsmith.org : the magic of words

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Queen 'delighted' by first great-grandchild: Autumn and Peter Phillips have baby girl

(The Daily Telegraph)
KING'S LYNN, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 25:  Autumn Phillips and Peter Phillips leave the Christmas Day service at Sandringham Church on December 25, 2009 in King's Lynn, England. The Royal Family are traditionally greeted by well wishers and members of the public as they attend the service.  (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

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Queen 'delighted' by first great-grandchild: Autumn and Peter Phillips have baby girl = Crumbs! Tight-lipped bag 'll be eighty-five in April! And Queen's target? Hardly a hundred!
(by Maurice Goddard)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Five Arrested in Plot to Attack Danish Paper

(VOA News)
BERLIN, GERMANY - FEBRUARY 25:  Muslims protest outside the Danish embassy against caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad originally published in Danish newspapers February 25, 2006 in Berlin, Germany. Approximately 100 protesters gathered under heavy police surveillance to voice their opposition against the cartoons.  (Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images)

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Five Arrested in Plot to Attack Danish Paper = PET aid foils invaders; can't take prophet art
[PET: Danish Security and Intelligence Service]
(by Kevin Dorner)

'Tis The Season for Obligatory Giving

(Huffington Post)
Close-up of a girl giving a gift to her grandmother Vertical

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'Tis The Season for Obligatory Giving = To be Santa 'live' is right goofy, so grin!
(by Maurice Goddard)

Kindergartens ordered to pay copyright for songs

(Deutsche Welle)
Five school children (5-10) singing in class, close-up

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Kindergartens ordered to pay copyright for songs = Oh, doddery spongers attack for singing repertory
(by Kevin Dorner)

Midwives condemn 'campaign against home births'

(The Guardian)
FROM A SERIES OF PHOTAGRAPHS DURING A HOME DELIVERY. THIS WOMAN WAS CAREFULLY CHECKED BY HER PHYSICIAN THROUGHOUT PREGNANCY TO CLASSIFY AS A LOW -RISK PREGNANCY. SHE WENT THROUGH HOME DELIVERY WITH NO COMPLICATIONS, DELIVERING A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY. WOMAN, IN HER 40'S HOME DELIVERY

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Midwives condemn 'campaign against home births' = "Hi! Pregnant woman's choice, dammit! I'm saving beds!"
(by Maurice Goddard)

Smokers given free nicotine patches

(AP)
Secondhand smoke is also called environmental tobacco smoke and passive smoke. It occurs when tobacco smoke permeates any environment, causing its inhalation within that environment. Second hand smoke contains nicotine, as well as various carcinogens and toxins. Scientific evidence shows that exposure to secondhand tobacco smoke causes diseases, disabilities and death.

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Smokers given free nicotine patches = One's perfect 'Anti-smoking Service', eh?
(by Maurice Goddard)

Elton John and David Furnish become parents

(The Daily Telegraph)
Elton John and David Furnish arrive for the An Enduring Vision Ninth Annual Benefit for the Elton John AIDS Foundation at Cipriani Wall Street in New York on October 18, 2010. UPI /Laura Cavanaugh Photo via Newscom

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Elton John and David Furnish become parents = Men then stand over a child: "Diaper job's no fun!"
(by Maurice Goddard)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Prince William & Kate Middleton Now Available in Bone China

(People)
FAKENHAM, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 18: Prince William and finacee Catherine Middleton arrive for a Christmas reception in aid of the Teenager Cancer Trust at theThursford Collection on December 18, 2010 in Fakenham, England.  (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

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Prince William & Kate Middleton Now Available in Bone China = Hip tableware in a kinda divine alliance, it'll be common now!
(by Maurice Goddard)


Prince William & Kate Middleton Now Available in Bone China = Ah, we like and aim to vend nominal picnic tableware! Billion!
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Friday, December 24, 2010

On the Menu for Christmas Dinner: Roadkill

(ABC News)
People eating Christmas dinner.


On the Menu for Christmas Dinner: The Roadkill = In her dish kind of normal lunch or 'Street Meat'
(by Aronas Pinchas)

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On the Menu for Christmas Dinner: Roadkill = No thanks! No, Mr. roadside chef! Return, I'm ill!
(by Steve Allison)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Why can't Britain cope with snow?

(The Daily Telegraph)
SALISBURY, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 22: Revellers dance in the snow after druids conducted a sunrise service at Stonehenge on December 22, 2010 in Wiltshire, England. Hundreds of people gathered at the famous historic stone circle to celebrate the sunrise closest to the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

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Why can’t Britain cope with snow? = We panic by an inch! Two hit worst!
(by Maurice Goddard)

Police checking embassies in Rome after explosions

(Reuters)
ROME, ITALY - DECEMBER 23: A fireman stands behind cordon in front of the Ukrainian Embassy were a parcel bomb was discovered on December 23, 2010 in Rome, Italy. Two parcel bombs, believed to be the work of anarchists, have today exploded at the Swiss and Chilean Embassies. The first explosion occured at the Swiss Embassy, seriously injuring one person, and another person has been taken to hospital after the explosion at the Chilean Embassy. (Photo by Franco Origlia/Getty Images)

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The Swiss and Chilean embassies = Is a mess when blast's inside each
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Bones Give Peek Into the Lives of Neanderthals

(The New York Times)
June 25, 2010 - 06086171 date 24 06 2010 Copyright imago Kolvenbach for The Time the Football World Cup is The After education in Museum at Mettmann as German Football supporter disguises with Jersey Cap and Germany Flag Michael Kolvenbach Peter Roos Str 20 Duesseldorf Germany Mobil 0 171  E Mail Photo de German Bank Duesseldorf  BLZ Bic Iban St No 122  Neuss II Sentence Photo is at Use the Photos outside Purposes Please with the Photographers hold 0 26 121 Kolvenbach men Football World Cup ger DFB funny Objects premiumd Highlight Vdig xsk 2010 horizontal Neanderthals supporter supporters Germany German German German Hooligan primitive Man Man Football World Cup Football World Cup  Society Fan culture funny funny Football fan Football fans.

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Bones Give Peek Into the Lives of Neanderthals = Help! Skeleton bits verified no Stone Age haven!
(by Maurice Goddard)

Israel moves to counter Gaza militants' new weapon

(AP)
Palestinian mourners carry the body of militant Abdullah al-Shirehi during his funeral in Deir-al Balah, central Gaza Strip, on December 19, 2010. Five Palestinian militants were killed as Israeli warplanes struck the Gaza Strip overnight, Israel's military and Palestinian sources said. UPI/Ismael Mohamad Photo via Newscom

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Israel moves to counter Gaza militants' new weapon = Wait, we - Zion, escalate troops using novel armament!
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Heathrow passengers 'waiting for a miracle'

(BBC)
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - DECEMBER 21: Passengers rest on the floor next to a sandwich bar as they wait for flights from Terminal 3 at Heathrow airport on December 21, 2010 in London, England. Heathrow airport will operate with only one runway for a third day as the snow continues to cause travel delays. (Photo by Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images)

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Heathrow passengers 'waiting for a miracle' = As a 'Green Christmas'? A white polar grief now!
(by Maurice Goddard)

Egypt Claims To Have Busted 'Israeli Spy Ring'

(RTT News)
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu surveys the Egyptian border where he was briefed by Israeli Defense Force (IDF) Southern Command officers on the construction of a fence along Israel's border with Egypt to prevent the infiltration of terrorists, smugglers and migrant workers on January 21, 2010. UPI/Ariel Jerozolimski/POOL Photo via Newscom
Egypt Claims To Have Busted 'Israeli Spy Ring'

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Egypt Claims To Have Busted 'Israeli Spy Ring' = Typical spies disagreement by tough rivals
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Lunar Eclipse Falls on Winter Solstice for First Time in Centuries

(AolNews)
MIAMI - FEBRUARY 20:  The moon is partly covered in the Earth's shadow during a phase of the lunar eclipse February 20, 2008 in Miami, Florida. This will be the last lunar eclipse seen from North America until 2010.  (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

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Lunar Eclipse Falls on Winter Solstice for First Time in Centuries = Terrific nocturnal fullness reflects pi in motion! Awe is tireless!
(by Maurice Goddard)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

'Don't ask, don't tell' in military repealed

(MSNBC)
WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 18: Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) (L) and Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT) trade places during a press conference on Capitol Hill December 18, 2010 in Washington, DC. In a 65-to-31 vote the Senate passed the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2011, repealing the U.S. military's  Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, which keeps openly gay and lesbian service members from serving. (Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images)

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'Don't ask, don't tell' in military repealed = Let me air pleasantry: 'Don't die, don't kill'
(by Steve Allison)

Space Superfund needed to clean up orbital trash

(MSNBC)
Star chart and satellite dish

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Space Superfund needed to clean up orbital trash = Bird? Plane? No, Super-Space-Dust! Eco-threat - fun deal!?
(by Steve Allison)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Obama: 'We are on track' in Afghanistan

(USA Today)
WASHINGTON, DC - DECEMBER 16: U.S. President Barack Obama makes a statement to reporters about his administration's Afghanistan-Pakistan annual review in the Brady Press Briefing Room at the White House December 16, 2010 in Washington, DC. According to a report released by the White House yesterday, NATO forces have made fragile progress against insurgents since Obama sent 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan last year, and he said that American forces can begin to withdraw on schedule in July. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

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Obama: 'We are on track' in Afghanistan = "O! Think? In war, anagrams can beat a foe!"
(by Maurice Goddard)

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Obama: 'We are on track' in Afghanistan = Barack: Fine nation manages a hot war
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Larry King ends his record-setting run on CNN

(CNN)
Larry King attends a party for his final daily broadcast on CNN held at Spago restaurant in Beverly Hills, California on December 16, 2010.   UPI/Phil McCarten Photo via Newscom

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Larry King ends his record-setting run on CNN = CNN's retiring relic grunts and honks yonder!
(by Maurice Goddard)