Cats Guard Art At St Petersburg Museum

(Sky News)

Photo: David Pham

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Cats Guard Art At St Petersburg Museum = Trust us! Mad tame buggers capture rats!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Slain Governor Buried Amid Scholars' Warning

(Sky News)


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Salman Taseer, governor of the Punjab province. = A grave, not justice, for a non-proven blasphemer

(by Chris Sturdy)

Republicans Set to Wield New Power in Washington

(The New York Times)

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Republicans Set to Wield New Power in Washington = A wretched Palin in, is set to bungle power's win now!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Assassination of Pakistani governor Salman Taseer rocks Islamabad

(Christian Science Monitor)

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Pakistani governor Salman Taseer = Slain passing over market area, not?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Chocolate Can Help You -- Lose Weight!

(CBS News)

Photo: Marcel Germain

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Chocolate can help you -- lose weight! = O! On healthy sweet choc cue, I gallop!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Morris Minor: A British miracle

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Eifion

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The Morris Minor: A British miracle = It's a mobile charm in the mirror, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mila Kunis Splits From Macaulay Culkin After Eight Years

(Yahoo!)

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Macaulay Culkin' s girlfriend = Graceful and lyric Mila Kunis

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Why Gays and Lesbians Should Never Argue Scripture

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Dave Gilbert

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Why Gays and Lesbians Should Never Argue Scripture = Let's air why. Arguing produces heavenly absurdness!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Biggest Ever' Fox Caught In Britain

(Sky News)

Photo: Transguyjay

'Biggest Ever' Fox Caught In Britain = O, their best 'fur-bag' - gigantic vixen!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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'Biggest Ever' Fox Caught In Britain = Big vixen! 'George Bush' trait, in fact.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves public office, but will he 'be back'?

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves public office, but will he 'be back'? = Californians' full view: "We beg: Clobber the geezer! Chap's bad luck!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Europe's Young Grow Agitated Over Future Prospects

(The New York Times)

Photo: Aaron Edwards

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Europe's young grow agitated over future prospects = Poor students give up careers -- way to go grope future!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope: Mass attack in Egypt 'offends God'

(Miami Herald)

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Pope: Mass attack in Egypt 'offends God' = God-spokesman: Top pangs affect deity!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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Pope: Mass attack in Egypt 'offends God' = A spent, daft, foggy mind spoke, to space?

(by Maurice Goddard)

7th person dies after New Year's Eve tornadoes

(Yahoo! News)

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The tornadoes on New Year's Eve = Every one death now resonates

(by Adie Pena)

Tory voters found to have larger 'primitive' lobe in brain

(Daily Mail)


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Tory voters found to have larger 'primitive' lobe in brain = Verifying brainier voter minds atop, over the Labour lot!

(by Maurice Goddard)

A Third of 9-Month-Olds Already Obese or Overweight

(LiveScience)


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A Third of Nine-Month-Olds Already Obese or Overweight = Oh! Idle, and somehow horribly overfed on eating treats!

(by Maurice Goddard)

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A Third of Nine-Month-Olds Already Obese or Overweight = Yes, mothers, a fat brood! Whenever, hold on original diet!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

New Year's Eve parties kick off around the world

(The Guardian)


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New Year's Eve parties kick off around the world = A live, firework rocket feast, pays down under, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tea Party star Christine O'Donnell denies misusing campaign funds

(The Guardian)


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Tea Party star Christine O'Donnell denies misusing campaign funds = Damn it! I'm no tactless, stupid, cunning, greedy fees Sarah Palin! No sir!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

UConn women bring Ninety-game winning streak to Stanford

(NBC Sports)


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UConn women bring Ninety-game winning streak to Stanford = Nine confident Yank women brag "More wins!" Strong taunting...

(by Steve Allison)

Former Israeli President Moshe Katsav convicted of rape

(Los Angeles Times)


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Former Israeli President Moshe Katsav = He's some kind of rare, evil, master rapist

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Underage Drinking Hits Hospitals at New Year

(Fox News)


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Underage Drinking Hits Hospitals at New Year = Seeing it with young kids, a parent learns hard!

(by Maurice Goddard)