Census: Number of poor may be millions higher

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Mubina H.

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Census: Number of poor may be millions higher = Ahem, men! Horror of big moneyless public in US!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Kidney-swap sisters released from jail

(MSNBC)


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Kidney-swap sisters released from jail = We Lasses impress: Trade kidney for jail!

(by Steve Allison)

In Women's Tears, a Chemical That Says, "Not Tonight, Dear"

(The New York Times)

Photo: chiaralily

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In women's tears, a chemical that says, "Not tonight, Dear" = O! That dame! Anita groans with me. She cries constantly!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Man, pregnant wife get escort, speeding ticket

(MSNBC)

Photo: Ruin Raiders

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Man, pregnant wife get escort, speeding ticket = Man gets wife pregnant. So price? Gent ticketed!

(by Steve Allison)

Taking the House, GOP primes for fight with Obama

(AolNews)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Taking the House, GOP primes for fight with Obama = Who? Mr. Speaker? He might go off pouting (it's a habit)!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Photo: CREDITS

Boehner moved to tears as he moves to speakership

(AolNews)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

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Boehner moved to tears as he moves to speakership = Moves peers to see brothers have damp hankies, too!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Scientist haunted by misuse of drugs he invented

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Purdue University

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Scientist haunted by misuse of drugs he invented = Thieves, using substance from study, die in the end.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Cats Guard Art At St Petersburg Museum

(Sky News)

Photo: David Pham

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Cats Guard Art At St Petersburg Museum = Trust us! Mad tame buggers capture rats!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Slain Governor Buried Amid Scholars' Warning

(Sky News)


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Salman Taseer, governor of the Punjab province. = A grave, not justice, for a non-proven blasphemer

(by Chris Sturdy)

Republicans Set to Wield New Power in Washington

(The New York Times)

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Republicans Set to Wield New Power in Washington = A wretched Palin in, is set to bungle power's win now!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Assassination of Pakistani governor Salman Taseer rocks Islamabad

(Christian Science Monitor)

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Pakistani governor Salman Taseer = Slain passing over market area, not?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Chocolate Can Help You -- Lose Weight!

(CBS News)

Photo: Marcel Germain

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Chocolate can help you -- lose weight! = O! On healthy sweet choc cue, I gallop!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Morris Minor: A British miracle

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Eifion

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The Morris Minor: A British miracle = It's a mobile charm in the mirror, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mila Kunis Splits From Macaulay Culkin After Eight Years

(Yahoo!)

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Macaulay Culkin' s girlfriend = Graceful and lyric Mila Kunis

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Why Gays and Lesbians Should Never Argue Scripture

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Dave Gilbert

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Why Gays and Lesbians Should Never Argue Scripture = Let's air why. Arguing produces heavenly absurdness!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Biggest Ever' Fox Caught In Britain

(Sky News)

Photo: Transguyjay

'Biggest Ever' Fox Caught In Britain = O, their best 'fur-bag' - gigantic vixen!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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'Biggest Ever' Fox Caught In Britain = Big vixen! 'George Bush' trait, in fact.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves public office, but will he 'be back'?

(The Daily Telegraph)

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Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves public office, but will he 'be back'? = Californians' full view: "We beg: Clobber the geezer! Chap's bad luck!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Europe's Young Grow Agitated Over Future Prospects

(The New York Times)

Photo: Aaron Edwards

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Europe's young grow agitated over future prospects = Poor students give up careers -- way to go grope future!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope: Mass attack in Egypt 'offends God'

(Miami Herald)

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Pope: Mass attack in Egypt 'offends God' = God-spokesman: Top pangs affect deity!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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Pope: Mass attack in Egypt 'offends God' = A spent, daft, foggy mind spoke, to space?

(by Maurice Goddard)

7th person dies after New Year's Eve tornadoes

(Yahoo! News)

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The tornadoes on New Year's Eve = Every one death now resonates

(by Adie Pena)