Sofitel's Sweepstakes Gives Away a Month-Long Trip Around the World

(About.com)

Photo: mugley

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Sofitel's "Around the World Eighty Magnifique Nights" Sweepstakes = Gee! She's getting this wild, wet foreplay of Dominique Strauss-Kahn!

(by Adie Pena)

Rapture deadline passes, world still here

(Sydney Morning Herald)

Photo: Ian Muttoo

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Rapture deadline passes, world still here = All is well, no rehearsed purists departed.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Rapture Parties Planned for May 21st

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: xadrian

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Obey God May Twenty First = Goodbye My Twittery Fans

(by Brad Blue)

IMF chief heads to court to answer sexual assault charges

(CNN)

Photo: bixintx

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Dominique Strauss-Kahn = Kiss? Oh, man's quaint, rude!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn deserve disgrace

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Joe Athialy

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Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn = Squeezing maids? A grand or known scandal hurts here!

(by Adie Pena)

Arnold Schwarzenegger: A history of accusations and denials

(Washington Post)

Photo: Lon R. Fong

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Arnold Schwarzenegger: A history of accusations and denials = Goon harasses; chronic adultery; scandal dazes ignorant wife.

(by Daniel W. Morales)

Miss. town could be wiped off map by flood

(CBS News)

Photo: ellenmac11

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Miss. town could be wiped off map by flood = Tunica swooped by flow, miffed mob plods

(by Aronas Pinchas)

NASA counting down again for next-to-last launch

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: douggarner08

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NASA counting down again for next-to-last shuttle launch = A soul on land announcing: "Three, two...CUT! Fix that last snag!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Synagogue Attack by 'Islamic Extremists' Stopped

(Bloomberg)

Photo: bestbib&tucker

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New York Synagogue Attack Is Thwarted = OK, great security! We want say - Thank God!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Now thang is a good Scrabble word, innit

(Daily Mail)

Photo: CREDITS

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Now thang is a good Scrabble word, innit = New word 'anoogarg' isn't bad in this bloc?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Shriver separate

(BBC)

Photo: schumachergirl1956

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Arnold Schwarzenegger and wife Maria Shriver separate = Haze, as wedding vows err, nearer marriage's final chapter.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dieters find 'healthy' food labels can be tricky

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: Bill Ward's Brickpile

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Dieters find 'healthy' food labels can be tricky = Old 'n' fishy con, eh? Dirty breakfast-label deceit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Newt Gingrich to launch presidential bid Wednesday

(USA Today)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Newt Gingrich to launch presidential bid Wednesday = Grey old ascending Republican dad, wins with teeth in?

(by Maurice Goddard)

U.S. wants to interrogate Osama bin Laden's wives

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: Pixel Form

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U.S. wants to interrogate Osama bin Laden's wives = Neat or not, a vain Satan's widows tremble I guess.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Bin Laden's death a tough subject for the pulpit

(AP)

Photo: Flickr POP-ART SKeTCH

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Bin Laden's death a tough subject for the pulpit = Jubilant tune, but preach the Gospel? Faith's odd!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Oprah May Save the Biggest Star in the World for Her Final Guest

(PopEater)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Oprah May Save the Biggest Star in the World for Her Final Guest = Oh! Sh!! Last apt, grand stage "au revoir", might be to Winfrey herself?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Italy's Sophia Loren to be honoured in America

(BBC)

Photo: SWANclothing

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Italy's Sophia Loren to be honoured in America = Hey! Hail a superior old cinema star! Bonnie too!

(by Maurice Goddard)

America, I apologize to you for Donald Trump

(CNN)

Photo: CREDITS

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America, I apologize to you for Donald Trump = A prime, mad, goofy, cool, out-and-out prize liar.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell engaged

(hello!)

Photo: Capital M

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Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell engaged = Engrave: "Penny Lane" man catches cuddly gal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Thousands demonstrate in Syria against regime

(AP)

Photo: Maggie Osama

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Thousands demonstrate in Syria against regime = The tired rioters saying: Inane Assad, man must go

(by Aronas Pinchas)