Norway attacks: profile of suspect Anders Behring Breivik

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: ghostofgoldwater

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Norwegian, Anders Behring Breivik = God in Heaven! Berserk brain-wiring?

(by Tony Crafter)

Amy Winehouse Dead

(MTV)

Photo: NRK P3

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The singer Amy Winehouse is dead = Oh, my. Herein dies a wasted genius

(by Tony Crafter)

Happiness is based on wife being slimmer than husband, according to study

(The Irish Independent)

Photo: alancleaver_2000

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Happiness is based on wife being slimmer than husband, according to study = In British pubs old men do end, sigh, or yawn, and can escape the big fat missus!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Binge Drinking Damages Teenage Girls' Brains More Than Boys'

(Medical News Today)

Photo: digitalMindy

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Binge Drinking Damages Teenage Girls' Brains More Than Boys' = Blind smoking as gin, harms any teen's brain to a bigger degree!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Nelson Mandela Turns 93 Years Young

(ABC News)

Photo: Festival Karsh Ottawa

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Nelson Mandela Turns Ninety-three Years Young = Utterly serene, sunny old gent's an iron man! Yeah!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

How Happy Is Your City?

(MSN)

Photo: Collin Key

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How Happy Is Your City? = Why, hypocrisy utopia!

(by Heather Anne Downs)

Los Angeles braces for 'Carmageddon'

(The Herald Sun)

Photo: i be GINZ

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The Carmageddon in Los Angeles = Ah, gentlemen, a "Road Closed" sign!

(by Adie Pena)

Volcano Erupts in the Central Indonesia

(Time)

Photo: LipglossJunkie

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Volcano Erupts in the Central Indonesia = i.e. Cone-center spits hot lava on land. I run

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Give Me an A! Grade Inflation at U.S. Colleges

(mental_floss)

Photo: DVIDSHUB

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Higher education grades = Grad notice: I has duhgree

(by Brad Blue)

Mourners gather in Michigan for first lady Betty Ford

(Reuters)

Photo: National Archives and Records Administration

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Mourners gather in Michigan for first lady Betty Ford = Coffin tributes rang, for this mighty rare, modern lady.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Animal experiments increase again

(BBC)

Photo: Mal Cubed

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Animal experiments increase again = Mice are in a meaningless extra pain?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Netanyahu offers help to South Sudan

(AP)

Photo: fieldreports

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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu offers help to South Sudan = Tiny Jerusalem remains behind the fresh poor painful state, aims union

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Space shuttle Atlantis launch was 'astonishing'

(BBC)

Photo: wicho

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Space shuttle Atlantis launch was 'astonishing' = Watching it enchants as it's lush. Last one up, alas.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Space-Time Cloak Possible, Could Make Events Disappear?

(National Geographic)

Photo: aha42

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Space-Time Cloak Possible, Could Make Events Disappear? = A pickpocket and missed valuable loot escape premises.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

The personal life of American astronauts in space: What's it really like?

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: NASA

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The personal life of American astronauts in space: What's it really like? = Once up there, it's fairly near as certain, all float like apes with no mass!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Emphatic Farewell for British Paper Caught Up in Hacking Scandal

(The New York Times)

Photo: Gene Hunt

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Emphatic Farewell for British Paper Caught Up in Hacking Scandal = Hi! Half-cripple scalawag Rupert Murdoch's a big fat pain in the neck!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Michigan leaders remember Betty Ford

(Free Press)

Photo: White House

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Michigan leaders remember Betty Ford = Remembrance to deem her "Big First Lady!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Is the Duchess of Cambridge a brand ambassador?

(Evening Standard)

Photo: DaveWJ100

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Is the Duchess of Cambridge a brand ambassador? = No drear dumb babe! Fact is, goddess has charisma!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Turkey insists on apology to normalize Israel ties

(Reuters)

Photo: Wild_atHeart

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Turkey insists on apology to normalize Israel ties = i.e. Zion must tell, noisily, to Ankara 'Sorry' & stop siege

(by Aronas Pinchas)

News of the World to close amid hacking scandal

(BBC)

Photo: Bobbie

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News of the World to close amid hacking scandal = Watched on as shocking crimes lead to downfall

(by Chris Sturdy)