Palin's Alaska hair salon gets own reality show

(MSNBC)

Photo: xomiele

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Palin's Alaska hair salon gets own reality show = Like a loony wig nest, all Sarah's hair wants soap!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Neanderthals' Extinction Due to Modern Human Invasion

(Internet News and Views)

Photo: hairymuseummatt

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Neanderthals' Extinction Due to Modern Human Invasion = Ah! Thus ran ancient man's evolution. Odd none intermixed?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Apple has more cash than the U.S. Treasury

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: procsilas

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Apple has more cash than the U.S. Treasury = Hurt at heart, Uncle Sam hopes... as he prays...

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ed Miliband has operation for sleeping problem

(WebMD)

Photo: Department of Energy and Climate Change

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Ed Miliband has operation for sleeping problem = "I'm pleased! Top help for abominable, dire snoring!!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

EGYPT: Hosni Mubarak and sons to be tried in Cairo

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: Zeinab Mohamed

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EGYPT: Hosni Mubarak and sons to be tried in Cairo = Damned heinous barbaric snakes! Trio got no pity.

(by Maurice Goddard)

White House plans emergency cuts as debt deadline looms

(The Guardian)

Photo: Jeff Sandquist

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White House plans emergency cuts as debt deadline looms = The needy climate. We see poor old Uncle Sam's sad, nigh bust.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Most experiments on monkeys have little medical benefit

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: tifotter

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Most experiments on monkeys have little medical benefit = Noble memo: Let's defy it, the sick expensive animal torment!

(by Maurice Goddard)

It's grim up North... which gives the locals bigger brains

(Daily Mail)

Illustration: labguest

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It's grim up North... which gives the locals bigger brains = Norwegians' big cerebrums highlight this. Victors, pal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

American Atheists Sue Over World Trade Center Cross

(ABC News)

Photo: MattZwilling

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American Atheists Sue Over World Trade Center Cross = We declare such a totem's irreverent, and crass too, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

McDonald's to make Happy Meals more healthful

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: TamakiS

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McDonald's to make Happy Meals more healthful = Hark, people madly munch same lethal foods at 'M'!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hauling Cans and Bottles Through Brooklyn, for a Hard-Earned Extra Penny

(The New York Times)

Photo: D'Arcy Norman

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Hauling Cans and Bottles Through Brooklyn, for a Hard-Earned Extra Penny = Broke? Then run! Healthy can hunters grab good dollars! And finer: Pay no tax!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Archaeologist's chance discovery may be Britain's earliest example of rock art

(University of Bristol)

Photo: s_d_anthony

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Archaeologist's chance discovery may be Britain's earliest example of rock art = Oh! Maybe by a prior, short, extra-skilled, classic Ice Age cave-art ancestor of mine?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Phone hacking: PM says James Murdoch has 'questions to answer'

(BBC)

Photo: Ben Terrett

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Phone hacking: PM says James Murdoch has 'questions to answer' = As con man pa's pet son jerk, a shady high-tech mouse, squirms now.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Queen brands Kate Middleton's wedding dress mannequin 'creepy'

(Metro)

Photo: it's a foot!

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Queen brands Kate Middleton's wedding dress mannequin 'creepy' = "Brand new, segmented, slinky specimen's quite odd, and darn queer!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Norway's Black Friday: A Chronology of the Twin Attacks

(Der Spiegel)

Photo: Kj

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Oslo, Norway and the Island of Utoya, Buskerud = Bloody sad! Lousy week for us and a hurt nation.

(by Adie Pena)

Survivor Describes Moments of Terror in Attack in Norway

(The New York Times)

Photo: OhaIt

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The Norwegian island, Utoya = Ruing a nation's deathly woe

(by Tony Crafter)

David Cameron: I grew up in my brother's shadow

(BBC)

Photo: University Hospitals Birmingham

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David Cameron: I grew up in my brother's shadow = "Very hard! As PM now, I'm big! I crow, and he's routed!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Norway attacks: profile of suspect Anders Behring Breivik

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: ghostofgoldwater

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Norwegian, Anders Behring Breivik = God in Heaven! Berserk brain-wiring?

(by Tony Crafter)

Amy Winehouse Dead

(MTV)

Photo: NRK P3

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The singer Amy Winehouse is dead = Oh, my. Herein dies a wasted genius

(by Tony Crafter)

Happiness is based on wife being slimmer than husband, according to study

(The Irish Independent)

Photo: alancleaver_2000

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Happiness is based on wife being slimmer than husband, according to study = In British pubs old men do end, sigh, or yawn, and can escape the big fat missus!

(by Maurice Goddard)