Paul McCartney: 'Apparently, I have been hacked'

(Los Angeles Times)

Illustration: SimonaHelloStranger

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Paul McCartney: 'Apparently, I have been hacked' = ""Privacy cheek by a nut appalled me! Hence a rant!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dieting makes your brain cells eat themselves

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: petekraynak

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Dieting makes your brain cells eat themselves = Get this - my bulk increased to raise Mensa level!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Whatever George Osborne believes, Britain will spend years in the doldrums

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: HM Treasury

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Whatever George Osborne believes, Britain will spend years in the doldrums = "Believe, sir? A depression's due to Blair-Brown's greedy Whitehall government!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Nation: A Heavy Hearted Deal

(National Public Radio)

Photo: Sergiocapitano

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Heavy Hearted Deal = A very hated deal, eh?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Oh Please, Let Sarah Palin Run for President!

(The Invisible Library)

Photo: smiteme

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Oh Please, Let Sarah Palin Run for President! = In's a real dense popular parrot in the flesh!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin On Joe Biden: "Appalling" And "Vile"

(Weasel Zippers)

Photo: Lord Mariser

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Sarah Palin On Joe Biden: "Appalling" And "Vile"... = Papa Biden on Palin: "As a jingo-hen, all drivel!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

African crested rat uses poison trick to foil predators

(BBC)

Photo: Joachim S. Müller

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African crested rat uses poison trick to foil predators = One practical rodent spikes fur coat for to resist raids

(by Chris Sturdy)

Palin's Alaska hair salon gets own reality show

(MSNBC)

Photo: xomiele

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Palin's Alaska hair salon gets own reality show = Like a loony wig nest, all Sarah's hair wants soap!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Neanderthals' Extinction Due to Modern Human Invasion

(Internet News and Views)

Photo: hairymuseummatt

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Neanderthals' Extinction Due to Modern Human Invasion = Ah! Thus ran ancient man's evolution. Odd none intermixed?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Apple has more cash than the U.S. Treasury

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: procsilas

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Apple has more cash than the U.S. Treasury = Hurt at heart, Uncle Sam hopes... as he prays...

(by Maurice Goddard)

Ed Miliband has operation for sleeping problem

(WebMD)

Photo: Department of Energy and Climate Change

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Ed Miliband has operation for sleeping problem = "I'm pleased! Top help for abominable, dire snoring!!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

EGYPT: Hosni Mubarak and sons to be tried in Cairo

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: Zeinab Mohamed

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EGYPT: Hosni Mubarak and sons to be tried in Cairo = Damned heinous barbaric snakes! Trio got no pity.

(by Maurice Goddard)

White House plans emergency cuts as debt deadline looms

(The Guardian)

Photo: Jeff Sandquist

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White House plans emergency cuts as debt deadline looms = The needy climate. We see poor old Uncle Sam's sad, nigh bust.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Most experiments on monkeys have little medical benefit

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: tifotter

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Most experiments on monkeys have little medical benefit = Noble memo: Let's defy it, the sick expensive animal torment!

(by Maurice Goddard)

It's grim up North... which gives the locals bigger brains

(Daily Mail)

Illustration: labguest

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It's grim up North... which gives the locals bigger brains = Norwegians' big cerebrums highlight this. Victors, pal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

American Atheists Sue Over World Trade Center Cross

(ABC News)

Photo: MattZwilling

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American Atheists Sue Over World Trade Center Cross = We declare such a totem's irreverent, and crass too, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

McDonald's to make Happy Meals more healthful

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: TamakiS

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McDonald's to make Happy Meals more healthful = Hark, people madly munch same lethal foods at 'M'!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hauling Cans and Bottles Through Brooklyn, for a Hard-Earned Extra Penny

(The New York Times)

Photo: D'Arcy Norman

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Hauling Cans and Bottles Through Brooklyn, for a Hard-Earned Extra Penny = Broke? Then run! Healthy can hunters grab good dollars! And finer: Pay no tax!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Archaeologist's chance discovery may be Britain's earliest example of rock art

(University of Bristol)

Photo: s_d_anthony

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Archaeologist's chance discovery may be Britain's earliest example of rock art = Oh! Maybe by a prior, short, extra-skilled, classic Ice Age cave-art ancestor of mine?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Phone hacking: PM says James Murdoch has 'questions to answer'

(BBC)

Photo: Ben Terrett

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Phone hacking: PM says James Murdoch has 'questions to answer' = As con man pa's pet son jerk, a shady high-tech mouse, squirms now.

(by Maurice Goddard)