London riots force England match to be cancelled

(The Sun)

Photo: Carole Soulas

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The London riots = Not this one, Lord!

(by Adie Pena)

'White Mouse' used sass to outsmart the Nazi regime

(Sydney Morning Herald)


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'White Mouse' used sass to outsmart the Nazi regime = So thus I see, wartime heroine's utmost guts amazed!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Regular exercise good for cancer patients and survivors

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: sanchom

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Regular exercise good for cancer patients and survivors = Advice? Never fear, sir! Go! Don't relax! Run! Soccer! Go up stairs!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Is America Ready for 'George W. Bush on Steroids'?

(The Atlantic)

Photo: Gov. Rick Perry

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Is America Ready for 'George W. Bush on Steroids'? = So foreboding? Smart guy here is a rowdier case!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Libya rebels deny losing hold on Bir al-Ghanam

(The Daily Star)

Photo: BRQ Network

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Libya rebels deny losing hold on Bir al-Ghanam = Baldly lies - Arabs blindly hang on home region

(by Aronas Pinchas)

For NASA, Return Trip to Jupiter in Search of Clues to Solar System's Origins

(The New York Times)

Photo: horstm42

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For NASA, Return Trip to Jupiter in Search of Clues to Solar System's Origins = O! Proper or not, Creation's so far-flung rich mysteries, just tantalise us, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Polar bear camp was 'perilous' place to put up camp, says wildlife film-maker

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: ucumari

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Polar bear camp was 'perilous' place to put up camp, says wildlife film-maker = Epic weak flaw, pal! Campers simply plumped for trouble as a calamitous RIP!

(by Maurice Goddard)

30 Americans Killed as Taliban Shoot Down a Copter

(The New York Times)

Photo: Eleventh Earl of Mar

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30 Americans Killed as Taliban Shoot Down a Copter = 30 more dead's a lot, in a blank, chaotic, pointless war.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cinemania > Captain America: The First Avenger

(Shore News Today)

Photo: JD Hancock

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Captain America = A Cinema? It a crap!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Perry Leads Prayer Rally for 'Nation in Crisis'

(The New York Times)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Perry Leads Prayer Rally for 'Nation in Crisis' = Pray? Lord! Fella's a sorry sinner! A crier in pity!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Crested Rat

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Joachim S. Müller

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The African crested rat (Lophiomys imhausi) = A critter has made his fur poison, they claim!

(by David Bourke)

Paul McCartney: 'Apparently, I have been hacked'

(Los Angeles Times)

Illustration: SimonaHelloStranger

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Paul McCartney: 'Apparently, I have been hacked' = ""Privacy cheek by a nut appalled me! Hence a rant!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dieting makes your brain cells eat themselves

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: petekraynak

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Dieting makes your brain cells eat themselves = Get this - my bulk increased to raise Mensa level!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Whatever George Osborne believes, Britain will spend years in the doldrums

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: HM Treasury

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Whatever George Osborne believes, Britain will spend years in the doldrums = "Believe, sir? A depression's due to Blair-Brown's greedy Whitehall government!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Nation: A Heavy Hearted Deal

(National Public Radio)

Photo: Sergiocapitano

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Heavy Hearted Deal = A very hated deal, eh?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Oh Please, Let Sarah Palin Run for President!

(The Invisible Library)

Photo: smiteme

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Oh Please, Let Sarah Palin Run for President! = In's a real dense popular parrot in the flesh!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin On Joe Biden: "Appalling" And "Vile"

(Weasel Zippers)

Photo: Lord Mariser

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Sarah Palin On Joe Biden: "Appalling" And "Vile"... = Papa Biden on Palin: "As a jingo-hen, all drivel!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

African crested rat uses poison trick to foil predators

(BBC)

Photo: Joachim S. Müller

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African crested rat uses poison trick to foil predators = One practical rodent spikes fur coat for to resist raids

(by Chris Sturdy)

Palin's Alaska hair salon gets own reality show

(MSNBC)

Photo: xomiele

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Palin's Alaska hair salon gets own reality show = Like a loony wig nest, all Sarah's hair wants soap!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Neanderthals' Extinction Due to Modern Human Invasion

(Internet News and Views)

Photo: hairymuseummatt

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Neanderthals' Extinction Due to Modern Human Invasion = Ah! Thus ran ancient man's evolution. Odd none intermixed?

(by Maurice Goddard)