Sally Bercow favourite to be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother

(Metro)

Photo: Beacon Radio

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Sally Bercow favourite to be evicted from Celebrity Big Brother = Boy! Flabby charmer OUT! Electrified TV viewers gobble erotic rot!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why the heck is NASA studying alien invasion scenarios?

(Houston Chronicle)

Photo: angelferd

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Why the heck is NASA studying alien invasion scenarios? = Shy an idea? Any invoking circles in wheat astonishes us!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Diamond particles discovered in candlelight

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Rickydavid

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Diamond particles discovered in candlelight = Lord! A candescent, odd, empirical light's divine?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Normandy Beach Faces New Invasion ... Of Wind Turbines

(Fox News)

Photo: thebarrowboy

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Normandy Beach Faces New Invasion ... Of Wind Turbines = Bran-new offensive win on D-Day's beach is unromantic!

(by Maurice Goddard)

German left provokes row on Berlin Wall anniversary

(The Guardian)

Photo: NatalieMaynor

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The Berlin Wall aniversary = Ah, all liberty winners rave!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Libya shows signs of slipping from Muammar Gaddafi's grasp

(The Guardian)

Photo: Illustration: People's Open Graphics

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Libya shows signs of slipping from Muammar Gaddafi's grasp = A bad pig "Piss off!" summons warms! Pray, a grim dog's fall is nigh!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gold devotees say they saw all of this coming

(MSNBC)

Photo: digitalmoneyworld

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Gold devotees say they saw all of this coming = Addicts high on soft yellow metal: "Yes, go save!"

(by Steve Allison)

Jodie Foster helps in search for alien civilizations

(Christian Science Monitor)

Photo: Alan Light

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Jodie Foster helps in search for alien civilizations = Far echo is...? Or...? Oi! SETI project finds Nazis alive in Hell!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Utøya shootings: Breivik accompanies police on eight-hour reconstruction

(The Guardian)

Photo: lwpkommunikacio

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The Utoya shooting = O, I shot at the young!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Hedgehogs could be extinct in fifteen years, warns zoologist Dr Toni Bunnell

(Metro)

Photo: DirtBikeDBA (Mike)

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Hedgehogs could be extinct in fifteen years, warns zoologist Dr Toni Bunnell = Breeding is not excellent. But highway toll of dozens a second runs into grief!!

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Hedgehogs could be extinct in fifteen years, warns zoologist Dr Toni Bunnell = Cunning sign to fill the freezer box now? They're good to eat and bliss unsliced!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Money really can't buy love: Spanish duchess gives away fortune in order to marry commoner

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Octavio Aceves

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Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva = O! A darn crazy name! Savour a jovial nasal disaster, a farcical farce? If I say it, it tongue ties me!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Back from the brink: Rare ladybird spiders reintroduced into UK countryside

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Pen Araneae

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Back from the brink: Rare ladybird spiders reintroduced into UK countryside = Bio: By rarer luck it bred! Odd red arachnid returns to prey in dusk's nick of time!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sexually Showy Male Birds Finish Early

(National Geographic)

Photo: Frank.Vassen

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Sexually showy male birds finish early = Waxbill hen (sadly): "My sir, you are selfish!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

TV review: Sperm Whale: Inside Nature's Giants

(The Guardian)

Photo: flickkerphotos

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TV review: Sperm Whale: Inside Nature's Giants = In maps, viewers 'enter' Leviathan's weird guts!

(by Maurice Goddard)

England riots: Are brooms the symbol of the resistance?

(BBC)

Photo: edufiend.com

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England riots: Are brooms the symbol of the resistance? = Sense, brother! Sane locals arm to defy the rioting mobs!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Rudderless Met crippled by liberalism

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Steve Punter

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The Metropolitan Police Service = Teach people: Violent riots - crime!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Mankind isn't the only altruistic species... chimps have a heart too

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Tambako the Jaguar

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Mankind isn't the only altruistic species... chimps have a heart too = It's civil! It's they care more than sick human apes do on this planet!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tottenham riot: Did police get their tactics right?

(BBC)

Photo: Metropolitan Police

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The Metropolitan Police Service = Coppers voice a line: "Let them riot."

(by Tony Crafter)

Bachmann Newsweek Cover Goes for Insult But Gets Criticism in Return

(Fox News)

Image: Newsweek

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Bachmann Newsweek Cover Goes for Insult But Gets Criticism in Return = 'Stateswomanlike' feminist crows in crunching revenge to curb brutes!!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Divine dispatches: a religion roundup

(The Guardian)

Photo: alykat

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Divine dispatches: a religion roundup = An invalid Pope rued sin: "Hi God! Curse it!"

Photo: CREDITS

Divine dispatches: a religion roundup = Vatican: In urge, old Pope did rue his sin.

(by Maurice Goddard)