Women are a mystery to British physicist Hawking

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: NASA

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Women are a mystery to British physicist Hawking = O, he can't grasp her wit! (with missy it yokes my brain!)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Do our brains decline from middle age?

(NHS)

Illustration: TZA

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Do our brains decline from middle age? = Maurice Goddard's belief: "Mine? Lord! NO!!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Duchess of Cambridge to be a Scout leader as well as patron of four charities

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: JeanM1

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Duchess of Cambridge to be a Scout leader as well as patron of four charities = Guaranteed a boss, she's a fair-faced cool bit of crumpet! Scouts will adore her!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Catholic bishop resigns, admits he has two kids

(MSNBC)

Photo: Catholic Church

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Catholic bishop resigns, admits he has two kids = Shh! His impostor tactic shows... Likes being a dad!

(by Steve Allison)

Egyptian court continues trial of Mubarak

(Xinhua)

Illustration: robertxcadena

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Egyptian court continues trial of Mubarak = Prosecution back in to maul a tyrant figure

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Leonardo Painting's Restoration Bitterly Divides Art Experts

(The New York Times)

Photo: Slices of Light

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Restoration of "Virgin and Child With Saint Anne" in the Louvre = Ruin the da Vinci?! Oh, art historians revolt, now feel indignant!!

(by Adie Pena)

'Girl Hunter' shoots, eats squirrels -- and makes it gourmet

(MSNBC)

Illustration: Giovana Medeiros

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'Girl Hunter' shoots, eats squirrels -- and makes it gourmet = Shot muskrats. Terror, slaughter - no qualms seeing it die!

(by Steve Allison)

Rancher's eagle eye ends four-day manhunt

(MSNBC)

Photo: MSVG

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Rancher's eagle eye ends four-day manhunt = Ends any fear. Dang cruel - other eye's human!

(by Steve Allison)

Giving up alcohol for January? Your liver may not thank you for it, say experts

(The Independent)

Photo: SteveMcN

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Giving up alcohol for January? Your liver may not thank you for it, say experts = Ugly rot? Ay! Au-revoir merry intoxication soak! Jolly unhappy hangover stuff!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Disabled man's prosthetic legs, car stolen

(MSNBC)

Photo: tandemracer

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Disabled man's prosthetic legs, car stolen = Pathetic crime, oddball loss - strangeness

(by Steve Allison)

Apocalypse not now: 2012 doomsday predictions debunked by NASA

(MSNBC)

Photo: theilr

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Apocalypse not now: doomsday predictions debunked by NASA = O, stop any bid! We bode: Mayan calendar's spooky end - stupid con.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Ex-soldier in Mount Rainier killing stationed at deeply troubled base

(MSNBC)

Photo: bengrey

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Ex-soldier in Mount Rainier killing stationed at deeply troubled base = Doubly sad bio: Eerie mixture, PTSD and irate killing. "One loneliest rant..."

(by Steve Allison)

Human remains found on UK Queen's estate

(MSNBC)

Photo: Steve Nimmons

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Human remains found on UK Queen's estate = A quiet one, soaks sun... fermented... un-human!

(by Steve Allison)

Rose Parade 2012: About 200 Occupy protesters gather in Pasadena

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: sjb5

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Tournament of Roses Parade = For some, return to Pasadena

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Iowa sleeper Santorum sends caucus rivals scrambling

(Reuters)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Iowa sleeper Santorum sends caucus rivals scrambling = America's gormless old Republican Narcissus nut waves!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Iran tests missiles near key oil strait

(AP)

Photo: cowicide

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Iran tests missiles near key oil strait = Alarms in israel! See it, it's risky test, no?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Duke of Edinburgh applauded on walk to church

(BBC)

Photo: Michael Gwyther-Jones

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Duke of Edinburgh applauded on walk to church = Bold and up, tough old wackier hunched-up freak!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Rick Santorum: I'd Bomb Iran

(The Daily Beast)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Republican Rick Santorum = Rubric: O, luck, man ain't Pres.!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Russell Brand, Katy Perry are divorcing

(MSNBC)

Photo: Beacon Radio

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Russell Brand, Katy Perry are divorcing = Drear sign, dreary lyrics: "Bankrupt love..."

(by Steve Allison)

Woman sues bar for not checking ID

(ABC News)

Photo: Los Angeles Personal Injury Attorneys

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Woman sues bar for not checking ID = Acting hoodwinks & frames bouncer?

(by Steve Allison)