Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: ulalume

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Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure = I may risk murder to such amazing exercise

(by Chris Sturdy)

Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure = Sure! A mere mighty dinosaur-size crack mix!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Santorum amplifies faith in way GOP rivals don't

(Boston Globe)

Illustration: boris.rasin

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Santorum amplifies faith in way GOP rivals don't = Longish yawn in... trivial soap opera stuff, dammit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gorbachev: Russia faces turmoil as Putin won't change

(Reuters)

Photo: Daniel Kongos

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Gorbachev: Russia faces turmoil as Putin won't change = Putin, he's fatal as Bush, a manic crowing overt scourge!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns

(Christian Science Monitor)

Illustration: Carnegie Institute for Science

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Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns = Newton: "Hi Man! Helplessly distant for future trips & efforts to escape!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns = Scientists: People, New Home to stay! Fresh, fruitful land! Apts for rent!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Naomi Watts cast as Princess Diana

(USA Today)

Photo: Eva Rinaldi

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Naomi Watts cast as Princess Diana = "Me downcast? Cast as a 'Saint' in Paris?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Senior US Catholic cites Obama "promises" on birth control

(Reuters)

Photo: photoactionusa

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Senior US Catholic cites Obama "promises" on birth control = It's: Contraception choices rile this amoral submoron SOB

(by Maurice Goddard)

Diet Soda Linked to Heart Disease Risk

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Newbirth35

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Diet Soda Linked to Heart Disease Risk = I'd like to see dark death stories in ads!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

He has victories, now Santorum needs money, support

(Reuters)

Photo: feastoffun.com

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He has victories, now Santorum needs money, support = Super win! He proves he can oust so-and-so Mitt Romney!

(by Maurice Goddard)

GOP vows to reverse Obama birth control policy

(The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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The Obama's birth control policy = Catholics, abortion thy problem?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Costa Concordia: cruise captain 'dined on crab and oysters’ with dancer

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: GrandeEmporium

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Costa Concordia: cruise captain 'dined on crab and oysters’ with dancer = So caricatured, Schettino's captaincy on board ends in darn cowardice!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope 'exorcised two men in the Vatican', claims new book

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: AZRainman

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Pope 'exorcised two men in the Vatican', claims new book = View next soap, wait or hope: Eminence combats Old Nick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Helping your parents stay out of the nursing home

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: LOLren

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Helping your parents stay out of the nursing home = Unfortunate sorry ones, these might go unhappily?

(by Maurice Goddard)

American Way: 'Mr Invincible' yet to convince Republican core

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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American Way: 'Mr Invincible' yet to convince Republican core = A pure cynic, Mitt 'clever-clever baboon' Romney: "I can! I can win I!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama: Jesus would back my tax-the-rich policy

(CNN)

Photo: The White House Fellows Program

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Obama: Jesus would back my tax-the-rich policy = "Ha! A just way up! Bible exactly mocks rich doom."

(by Maurice Goddard)

Hubble snaps stunning barred spiral galaxy image

(BBC)

Photo: NASA

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Hubble snaps stunning barred spiral galaxy image = Big Bang's unexplained starry enigma has blurs, pal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

David Beckham: I've never stuffed my pants with socks because I don't need to

(Now Magazine)

Photo: friskytuna

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David Beckham: I've never stuffed my pants with socks because I don't need to = "Me? Stud fitness speaks! Even my bedded bonked wife, Victoria, can vouch that!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Daughter cuts off cancer-stricken mother's hair in YouTube video

(The Daily Telegraph)
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Daughter cuts off cancer-stricken mother's hair in YouTube video = Brave heroic courage, inasmuch in front of her cute kid, tests duty.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sugar should be regulated like alcohol, tobacco, commentary says

(CBS News)

Photo: Uwe Hermann

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Sugar should be regulated like alcohol, tobacco, commentary says = Sugary Realm? God! You'd best label Coca-Cola "Health Risk To Consume"!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Uncanny Valley: What Robot Theory Tells Us About Mitt Romney

(The Atlantic)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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The Uncanny Valley: What Robot Theory Tells Us About Mitt Romney = Hey! Very mouthy, hell-bent Automaton "Latter-Clown Saint", tours by!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Monty Python members to re-unite for new film

(Raw Story)

Photo: jonnyphoto

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Monty Python members to re-unite for new film = Minus one--then, try fewer on film, or empty tomb?

(by Dharam Khalsa)