US man has heart attack while eating 'Triple Bypass Burger' at The Heart Attack Grill

(Yahoo!)

Photo: kshilcutt

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US man has heart attack while eating 'Triple Bypass Burger' at The Heart Attack Grill = A hungry brat with ultra appetite selects a snack that might be a killer... aagh, arrest!

(by Chris Sturdy)

US: Iran 'not close' to abandoning nuclear program

(Jerusalem Post)

Illustration: futureatlas.com

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US: Iran 'not close' to abandoning nuclear program = Repugnant loonier moron lunatics can, as do brag!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover: Kate Upton, 19

(AP)
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Sports Illustrated = Loud starlets strip

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Whitney Houston 'found underwater' in bath

(BBC)

Photo: asterix611

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Whitney Houston 'found underwater' in bath = Hunted beauty drowns! No hairnet? How unfit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Martin Scorsese to receive Bafta fellowship award

(The Guardian)

Photo: Craig Grobler

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Martin Scorsese to receive Bafta fellowship award = Fanbase view at actor show - 'a peerless film director'

Facebook dad shoots his daughter's laptop

(YouTube)
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Facebook dad shoots his own daughter's laptop = Tough disposal of bad posts? Ooh, what a redneck!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Whitney Houston's body transported NINE hours after medics arrived

(People)

Photo: UggBoy-UggGirl

Whitney Houston's body transported nine hours after medics arrived = Vent: No hurry if a show-business death, sordid crime, or not a pretty end?!? (You must turn on Java in your web browser to see this Animated Anagrams applet.)
Whitney Houston's Body Transported Nine Hours After Medics Arrived = Do they wash the mirror, destroy pints, do a transfusion, burn evidence?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Singer Whitney Houston found dead

(Fox News)

Photo: asterix611

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Singer Whitney Elizabeth Houston is found dead = Another sad showbiz life in the US ... it ended young.

(by Adie Pena)

Whitney Houston, superstar of records, films, dies

(Yahoo!)

Photo: asterix611

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Whitney Houston, superstar of records, films, dies = A terse End of the Show. Loss for music industry. RIP.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Aung San Suu Kyi campaigns for the first time in her constituency

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: UK Department for International Development

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Aung San Suu Kyi campaigns for the first time in her constituency = Cute saint ran. Humanity's epoch-making figure is country's finest!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: ulalume

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Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure = I may risk murder to such amazing exercise

(by Chris Sturdy)

Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure = Sure! A mere mighty dinosaur-size crack mix!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Santorum amplifies faith in way GOP rivals don't

(Boston Globe)

Illustration: boris.rasin

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Santorum amplifies faith in way GOP rivals don't = Longish yawn in... trivial soap opera stuff, dammit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gorbachev: Russia faces turmoil as Putin won't change

(Reuters)

Photo: Daniel Kongos

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Gorbachev: Russia faces turmoil as Putin won't change = Putin, he's fatal as Bush, a manic crowing overt scourge!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns

(Christian Science Monitor)

Illustration: Carnegie Institute for Science

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Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns = Newton: "Hi Man! Helplessly distant for future trips & efforts to escape!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns = Scientists: People, New Home to stay! Fresh, fruitful land! Apts for rent!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Naomi Watts cast as Princess Diana

(USA Today)

Photo: Eva Rinaldi

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Naomi Watts cast as Princess Diana = "Me downcast? Cast as a 'Saint' in Paris?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Senior US Catholic cites Obama "promises" on birth control

(Reuters)

Photo: photoactionusa

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Senior US Catholic cites Obama "promises" on birth control = It's: Contraception choices rile this amoral submoron SOB

(by Maurice Goddard)

Diet Soda Linked to Heart Disease Risk

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Newbirth35

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Diet Soda Linked to Heart Disease Risk = I'd like to see dark death stories in ads!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

He has victories, now Santorum needs money, support

(Reuters)

Photo: feastoffun.com

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He has victories, now Santorum needs money, support = Super win! He proves he can oust so-and-so Mitt Romney!

(by Maurice Goddard)

GOP vows to reverse Obama birth control policy

(The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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The Obama's birth control policy = Catholics, abortion thy problem?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Costa Concordia: cruise captain 'dined on crab and oysters’ with dancer

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: GrandeEmporium

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Costa Concordia: cruise captain 'dined on crab and oysters’ with dancer = So caricatured, Schettino's captaincy on board ends in darn cowardice!

(by Maurice Goddard)