Queen to open London Games and Paralympics

(Reuters)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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Queen to open London Games and Paralympics = Queen ma'am can! Old propped gal's soon ninety!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Costa Allegra passengers face uncomfortable three days without power

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: JorgeBRAZIL

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Costa Allegra passengers face uncomfortable three days without power = Off course, all do agree: "We're happy brute scalawag Schettino's not master!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Oscar's aging audience: Time to shake up the academy?

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: chickpokipsie

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Oscar's aging audience: Time to shake up the academy? = Cheesy outdated pics is a huge racket, egomania, man!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Meryl Streep takes third career Oscar

(Reuters)

Photo: Beacon Radio

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Meryl Streep takes the third career Oscar = Report: Academy likes hers act, the rest err

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Santorum: Obama is 'a snob' because he wants 'everybody in America to go to college'

(Washington Post)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

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Obama is 'a snob' = I'm ass, a baboon

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Lord Lucan sensation: He DID escape to Africa and could still be alive, his brother claims

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Wikipedia

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Lord 'Lucky' Lucan may still be alive, so his brother claims. = Also likely liberal cohorts subtly saved criminal chum.

(by Robert Jordan)

Taco Bell Unveils 'Live Mas' Slogan, Says Adios To 'Think Outside The Bun'

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Scott Ableman

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Taco Bell Unveils 'Live Mas' Slogan, Says Adios To 'Think Outside The Bun' = A handy value, so visit...but look into its salt, MSG, and insoluble cheese!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'US believes Iran not trying to build nuclear bomb'

(YnetNews)

Illustration: AslanMedia

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'US believes Iran not trying to build nuclear bomb' = Obviously, unblest America returning to be blind

(by Aronas Pinchas)

After Debate, Santorum Finds Himself on the Defensive

(The New York Times)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

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After Debate, Santorum Finds Himself on the Defensive = Amid the evil, he is better famed for stuff and nonsense!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Marie Colvin Killed in Homs - targeted by Syrian Army

(Daily Kos)

Photo: biscator's

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The Sunday Times foreign correspondent, Marie Colvin = Death comes from note sent during Syrian violence, RIP

(by Chris Sturdy)

Homer Simpson's favourite drink Duff beer goes on sale in the UK

(Metro)

Photo: PhotoBlog

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Homer Simpson's favourite drink Duff beer goes on sale in Britain = Deserve a tin? For me, first look for a pub remaining in business... Doh!

(by Robert Jordan)

Hitler's secret photos reveal Nazi leader's vanity

(The Daily Telegraph)
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Hitler's secret photos reveal Nazi leader's vanity = He's rated Earth's looniest crazy villain pest ever!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Heston to cook test-tube burger

(MSN News)

Photo: Ratamala

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Heston to cook a test-tube burger = the best surrogate bun etc. too -- ok?

(by Robert Jordan)

Anthony Shadid, Reporter in the Middle East, Dies at 43

(The New York Times)

Photo: Terissa Schor

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Anthony Shadid, Reporter = NYT person. A horrid death.

(by Adie Pena)

Anthony Shadid, Reporter = That one had sorry end. RIP.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Swedish man survives for months in snowed-in car

(The Guardian)

Photo: Glen Bowman

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Swedish man survives for months in snowed-in car = In newsstands: No-show human revived from crisis!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Tea Party Patriots: The Second American Revolution'

(Fox News)

Photo: Chicago Man

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'Tea Party Patriots: The Second American Revolution' = Nuttier moaners in a potty video: Clear Catastrophe!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Hague fears Iran could start 'new Cold War'

(BBC)

Photo: Aslan Media

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Hague fears Iran could start 'new Cold War' = Accuser: Tehran is awful, a danger to world

(by Aronas Pinchas)

US man has heart attack while eating 'Triple Bypass Burger' at The Heart Attack Grill

(Yahoo!)

Photo: kshilcutt

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US man has heart attack while eating 'Triple Bypass Burger' at The Heart Attack Grill = A hungry brat with ultra appetite selects a snack that might be a killer... aagh, arrest!

(by Chris Sturdy)

US: Iran 'not close' to abandoning nuclear program

(Jerusalem Post)

Illustration: futureatlas.com

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US: Iran 'not close' to abandoning nuclear program = Repugnant loonier moron lunatics can, as do brag!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover: Kate Upton, 19

(AP)
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Sports Illustrated = Loud starlets strip

(by Aronas Pinchas)