This Summer Shaping Up as One of Warmest

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: frankartculinary

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This Summer Shaping Up as One of Warmest = Hot as Mum's hot surges - we farm in nappies!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Romney London Visit Proves He is Unfit for President

(policymic)

Photo: Cain and Todd Benson

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Mitt Romney London Visit Proves Romney is Not Ready to be a World Leader = Totally empty over-rated loony Mormon won Britain's deserved derision!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Lochte Beats Phelps in 1st Olympic Showdown

(ABC News)
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Lochte Beats Phelps in first Olympic Showdown = Champ wins in style, blows the old chief pros' top

(by Aronas Pinchas)

An 11-year-old boy flies from England to Rome without a passport or boarding pass

(Time)

Photo: mattingham

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An eleven-year-old boy flies from England to Rome without a passport or boarding pass = And we all feel safe in airports? Somebody might grab your person at a London stopover.

(by Rosie Perera)

Two "Man of Steel" Trailers Revealed!

(ScreenRant)
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The 'Man of Steel' = Often he's metal

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Prince Andrew to abseil down The Shard

(The Sun)

Photo: Jamie J Gray

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The Duke of York is planning to abseil down the Shard = Gosh! Unwise, I think. Odds on fat Andy'll break the rope!

(by Tony Crafter)

Seventeen Magazine: We celebrate all shapes, sizes

(Yahoo! News)
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Seventeen Magazine: We celebrate all shapes, sizes = New sales pitch: See average amenable teens sizzle!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

FDA approves over-the-counter HIV tests

(RTT News)

Photo: Cameron Maddux

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FDA approves over-the-counter HIV tests = Oh, stores have fast preventive product!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Gila Fire Shows Decreased Fire Activity

(KTSM)

Photo: Gila Forest

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Gila National Forest = A fire's toll...not again!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Glamping: the latest rage among campers unwilling to rough it

(GrindTV)

Photo: Recovering Vagabond

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Glamping: the latest rage among campers unwilling to rough it = Glamour camping in a tent with pillars. So, Norm, get the luggage!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Obama slams Romney's jobs record on campaign trail

(Chicago Tribune)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Obama slams Romney's jobs record on campaign trail = Major declaration rampages brassily common snob

(by Thomas Murphy)

Jerry Sandusky leaves courthouse in handcuffs

(Washington Post)

Photo: marsmet551

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Former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky = Shocked jury can try man for teens' rapes

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Baby soaps and shampoos trigger positive marijuana tests

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Mark Hurst

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Baby soaps and shampoos trigger positive marijuana tests = Ma, a Johnson item appears to drug babies to grass passivity!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Gone With the Wind actress Ann Rutherford dies

(BBC)
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Gone With the Wind actress Ann Rutherford dies = Rich, fond, sweet stunning star, herewith adored.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sharapova wins her first French Open

(The Enterprise)

Photo: mbevis

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Maria Sharapova wins her first French Open = Ha! Tennis champ of fervor whips Sara Errani!

(by Adie Pena)

Republican governors urge Romney to be 'big and bold'

(Christian Science Monitor)

Photo: Cain and Todd Benson

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Republican governors urge Romney to be 'big and bold' = Once big, bolder? Never! Darn bumptious loony bragger!

(by Maurice Goddard)

I'll Have Another Retires

(The Seattle Times)

Photo: KYNGPAO

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"I'll Have Another" Retires = Horse athlete ran virile

(by John Nalley)

'Sexual depravity' of penguins that Antarctic scientist dared not reveal

(The Guardian)

Photo: nick_russill

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'Sexual depravity' of penguins that Antarctic scientist dared not reveal = As authenticated, very real vulgar finds rent Captain Scott's expedition!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Third time's the charm for 'Madagascar 3'

(MSNBC)
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Film "Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted" = Few madcap animals, some great tour. (3D's)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Snigdha Nandipati wins National Spelling Bee

(Mercury News)
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Snigdha Nandipati wins U.S. National Spelling Bee = And, in a nail-biting show, Indian spells "g-u-e-t-a-p-e-n-s".

(by Dharam Khalsa)