Sarah Palin On Mitt Romney-Paul Ryan Ticket: "We Must Now Look To This New Team"

(Huffington Post)

Photo: jetheriot

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Sarah Palin On Mitt Romney-Paul Ryan Ticket: "We must now look to this new team" = "Not especially important woman, without wealth, makes nutty remarks"--Onion(?)

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Dick Cheney: 'I Worship The Ground Paul Ryan Walks On'

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Dick Cheney: "I worship the ground Paul Ryan walks on" = Yuck! Praise (or dark sign) which wouldn't help anyone

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Mitt Romney Announces Paul Ryan As Vice Presidential Running Mate

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Obama-Biden vs. Romney-Ryan = Many ads on air by November

(by Rosie Perera)

Romney to announce vice presidential pick Saturday

(CNN)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Romney to announce vice presidential pick Saturday = No more! I deprive uncanny ticket speculators in a day.

(by Rosie Perera)

Mohamed al-Megaryef elected to head Libya assembly

(The Frontier Post)
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Libyan president Mohamed al-Megaryef = Yes, Arab men might find, employ a leader.

(by Rosie Perera)

Romney accused of tax shelter role

(CNN)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Mitt Romney's tax shelter = Not extremely smart, this

(by Rosie Perera)

Chick-fil-A Anti-Gay Stance

(policymic)

Photo: jennherrera

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Chick-fil-A's CEO Samuel Truett Cathy = I may cluck at his secret cult of hate

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Intensifying Syrian Fighting Reported in Battles for Damascus and Aleppo

(The New York Times)

Photo: DoumaRevolution

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Battles for Damascus, Aleppo = Artful Assad combats people

(by Aronas Pinchas)

This Summer Shaping Up as One of Warmest

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: frankartculinary

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This Summer Shaping Up as One of Warmest = Hot as Mum's hot surges - we farm in nappies!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Romney London Visit Proves He is Unfit for President

(policymic)

Photo: Cain and Todd Benson

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Mitt Romney London Visit Proves Romney is Not Ready to be a World Leader = Totally empty over-rated loony Mormon won Britain's deserved derision!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Lochte Beats Phelps in 1st Olympic Showdown

(ABC News)
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Lochte Beats Phelps in first Olympic Showdown = Champ wins in style, blows the old chief pros' top

(by Aronas Pinchas)

An 11-year-old boy flies from England to Rome without a passport or boarding pass

(Time)

Photo: mattingham

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An eleven-year-old boy flies from England to Rome without a passport or boarding pass = And we all feel safe in airports? Somebody might grab your person at a London stopover.

(by Rosie Perera)

Two "Man of Steel" Trailers Revealed!

(ScreenRant)
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The 'Man of Steel' = Often he's metal

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Prince Andrew to abseil down The Shard

(The Sun)

Photo: Jamie J Gray

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The Duke of York is planning to abseil down the Shard = Gosh! Unwise, I think. Odds on fat Andy'll break the rope!

(by Tony Crafter)

Seventeen Magazine: We celebrate all shapes, sizes

(Yahoo! News)
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Seventeen Magazine: We celebrate all shapes, sizes = New sales pitch: See average amenable teens sizzle!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

FDA approves over-the-counter HIV tests

(RTT News)

Photo: Cameron Maddux

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FDA approves over-the-counter HIV tests = Oh, stores have fast preventive product!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Gila Fire Shows Decreased Fire Activity

(KTSM)

Photo: Gila Forest

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Gila National Forest = A fire's toll...not again!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Glamping: the latest rage among campers unwilling to rough it

(GrindTV)

Photo: Recovering Vagabond

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Glamping: the latest rage among campers unwilling to rough it = Glamour camping in a tent with pillars. So, Norm, get the luggage!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Obama slams Romney's jobs record on campaign trail

(Chicago Tribune)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Obama slams Romney's jobs record on campaign trail = Major declaration rampages brassily common snob

(by Thomas Murphy)

Jerry Sandusky leaves courthouse in handcuffs

(Washington Post)

Photo: marsmet551

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Former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky = Shocked jury can try man for teens' rapes

(by Dharam Khalsa)