Why Mitt Romney needs to get busy courting 'Teavangelicals'

(Fox News)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Why Mitt Romney needs to get busy courting 'Teavangelicals' = Mercy! US woe! By mentioning God, the sly rat gets tea-cult vain!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obesity 'bad for brain' by hastening cognitive decline

(BBC)

Photo: Ed Yourdon

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Obesity 'bad for brain' by hastening cognitive decline = Consider very big fact: Being bloated inhibits anyone!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Getting the Facts Straight on Romney and Obama

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Getting the Facts Straight on Romney and Obama = An engaged Obama's right honest! Not crafty Mitt!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Prince Philip walks out of hospital after treatment for bladder infection

(The Herald Sun)

Photo: UK Ministry of Defence

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Prince Philip walks out of hospital after treatment for bladder infection = No feet off balance, the saunterer did it with no fall, trip, limp, prop or a stick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kevin Yoder, House Republicans Reprimanded For Drinking, Nudity In Israel

(Huffington Post)

Photo: republicanconference

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House Republicans skinny dip in Sea of Galilee = Hey, asses of GOP nude in public in lake in Israel.

(by Rosie Perera)

Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and the risk of getting upstaged

(Washington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and the risk of getting upstaged = Steadier running mate might topple a stodgy funky rat?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Siege of Aleppo Continues

(Euro News)

Photo: a.anis

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The Siege of Aleppo = O, see a people fight.

(by Rosie Perera)

Ecuador Grants WikiLeaks Founder Julian Assange Political Asylum

(ABC News)

Photo: Newton grafitti

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The Ecuador Embassy grants asylum to Julian Assange = South Americans' sly agenda's just to enrage USA? Balmy.

(by Tony Crafter)

Rally driving duo walk away after unbelievable crash

(Yahoo! Eurosport)
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Rally driving duo walk away after unbelievable crash = Ah, freak drivin' runaway saved by a well-built roll cage!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Ecuadorians rally around decision to offer asylum for Assange

(Christian Science Monitor)

Illustration: Antonio Marín Segovia

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Asylum for Assange = No alarms, guy's safe

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Army Suicides Doubled Last Month From June's Total

(Huffington Post)

Photo: kevin dooley

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Active-Duty Army Suicides Hit All-Time High = Alive, I had much guilt. I cry. My death -- it is set.

(by Rosie Perera)

Julian Assange: Ecuador grants Wikileaks founder asylum

(BBC)

Illustration: Raymond Salvatore Harmon

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Assange granted political asylum by Ecuador = A so-called rapist can unduly go emigrate by SA

(by Adam Beardwell)

Tech companies make progress on 'blood phones' and 'conflict minerals'

(CNN)

Photo: yonajon

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Good cell phone companies avoid "conflict minerals" = Pah! I moved to dispel all concerns of malice in Congo.

(by Rosie Perera)

Imagine flying from New York to London in under an hour

(CNN)

Photo: United States Air Force Research Laboratory

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The new Waverider hypersonic flight test vehicle = Will have fever speed -- get this -- with no re-entry! Chic!

(by Rosie Perera)

Canada to help war-weary Syrians

(Toronto Sun)

Photo: DoumaRevolution

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The Syrian Civil War = Icy rivals wear thin

(by Rosie Perera)

Sarah Palin On Mitt Romney-Paul Ryan Ticket: "We Must Now Look To This New Team"

(Huffington Post)

Photo: jetheriot

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Sarah Palin On Mitt Romney-Paul Ryan Ticket: "We must now look to this new team" = "Not especially important woman, without wealth, makes nutty remarks"--Onion(?)

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Dick Cheney: 'I Worship The Ground Paul Ryan Walks On'

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Dick Cheney: "I worship the ground Paul Ryan walks on" = Yuck! Praise (or dark sign) which wouldn't help anyone

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Mitt Romney Announces Paul Ryan As Vice Presidential Running Mate

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Obama-Biden vs. Romney-Ryan = Many ads on air by November

(by Rosie Perera)

Romney to announce vice presidential pick Saturday

(CNN)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Romney to announce vice presidential pick Saturday = No more! I deprive uncanny ticket speculators in a day.

(by Rosie Perera)

Mohamed al-Megaryef elected to head Libya assembly

(The Frontier Post)
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Libyan president Mohamed al-Megaryef = Yes, Arab men might find, employ a leader.

(by Rosie Perera)