Calorie restriction doesn't slow ageing, monkey study suggests

(The Guardian)

Photo: malias

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Calorie restriction doesn't slow ageing, monkey study suggests = Cute ninety year old's lesson got signed: "Trots work magic, I guess!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Queen Elizabeth II Wears A Hoodie While Driving A Range Rover

(Huffington Post)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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Queen Elizabeth II wears a hoodie while driving a Range Rover = I realize hair-do's aging; however, I wanted queenlier behavior!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Harry to appear at Paralympics

(MSN News)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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Prince is to appear at the London Paralympics = No ashen pop - properly attired in a plastic Mac!

(by Robert Jordan)

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Harry to appear at Paralympics = A prayer: Pat a Royal Strip Champ! (You must turn on Java in your web browser to see this Animated Anagrams applet.)
Harry to appear at Paralympics = A champ! A royal! A party stripper!

(by Maurice Goddard)

How could cannabis alter the teenage brain?

(BBC)

Illustration: TZA

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How could cannabis alter the teenage brain? = How can it? Being a bonehead can result later!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Rupert Murdoch: People love Prince Harry, naked or not

(Metro)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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Rupert Murdoch: People love Prince Harry, naked or not = Erotic rock-n-roll porn rather had everyone pumped up

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sea Ice in Arctic Measured at Record Low

(The New York Times)

Photo: banyanman

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Sea Ice in Arctic Measured at Record Low = O Dear! Scan creatures' dire climatic woe!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Vegas Lured Prince Charles Too

(The Daily Express)

Photo: chego-chego

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Prince Charles lured in Vegas too = Cavorting heirs, one dupe recalls

(by Robert Jordan)

Republican Convention Delayed As Isaac Approaches

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Republican National Convention is in Tampa, Florida = Isaac to rain on parade, fall upon non-invincible Mitt.

(by Rosie Perera)

Neil Armstrong, first man to walk on moon, dies

(CBC)

Photo: NASA

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Neil A. Armstrong, first man to walk on moon, dies = So, small tremor for nation; mankind's giant woe

(by Rosie Perera)

US Open referee accused of killing husband

(Yahoo! Eurosport)

Photo: asterix611

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US Open referee accused of killing husband = Heed coffee cup in sink as surreal bludgeon

(by Chris Sturdy)

Prince Harry frolics naked in Vegas

(Philly.com)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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Prince Harry in nude frolics at Las Vegas hotel = Royal rear is uncovered at length in flash-pics!

(by Tony Crafter)

Why Mitt Romney needs to get busy courting 'Teavangelicals'

(Fox News)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Why Mitt Romney needs to get busy courting 'Teavangelicals' = Mercy! US woe! By mentioning God, the sly rat gets tea-cult vain!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obesity 'bad for brain' by hastening cognitive decline

(BBC)

Photo: Ed Yourdon

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Obesity 'bad for brain' by hastening cognitive decline = Consider very big fact: Being bloated inhibits anyone!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Getting the Facts Straight on Romney and Obama

(Huffington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Getting the Facts Straight on Romney and Obama = An engaged Obama's right honest! Not crafty Mitt!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Prince Philip walks out of hospital after treatment for bladder infection

(The Herald Sun)

Photo: UK Ministry of Defence

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Prince Philip walks out of hospital after treatment for bladder infection = No feet off balance, the saunterer did it with no fall, trip, limp, prop or a stick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kevin Yoder, House Republicans Reprimanded For Drinking, Nudity In Israel

(Huffington Post)

Photo: republicanconference

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House Republicans skinny dip in Sea of Galilee = Hey, asses of GOP nude in public in lake in Israel.

(by Rosie Perera)

Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and the risk of getting upstaged

(Washington Post)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney and the risk of getting upstaged = Steadier running mate might topple a stodgy funky rat?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Siege of Aleppo Continues

(Euro News)

Photo: a.anis

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The Siege of Aleppo = O, see a people fight.

(by Rosie Perera)

Ecuador Grants WikiLeaks Founder Julian Assange Political Asylum

(ABC News)

Photo: Newton grafitti

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The Ecuador Embassy grants asylum to Julian Assange = South Americans' sly agenda's just to enrage USA? Balmy.

(by Tony Crafter)

Rally driving duo walk away after unbelievable crash

(Yahoo! Eurosport)
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Rally driving duo walk away after unbelievable crash = Ah, freak drivin' runaway saved by a well-built roll cage!

(by Chris Sturdy)