Sarah Palin Is Writing a Fitness Book

(Time)

Photo: taestell

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Sarah Palin Is Writing a Fitness Book = 'Fishing Trips in Alaska' aborts in woe!

(by Maurice Goddard)

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Sarah Palin Is Writing a Fitness Book = If sport, it is her in a big Alaskan snow

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Obama team steps up attacks on 'dishonest' Romney

(AP)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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Obama team steps up attacks on 'dishonest' Romney = Some moan: Snotty-nosed ape Mitt has upset Barack!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Tropical Storm Olivia Stronger Over Open Pacific

(ABC News)

Photo: NASA

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The tropical storm Olivia = Proclivities to harm a lot

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Romney, Buoyed by Debate, Shows Off His Softer Side

(The New York Times)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

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Romney, Buoyed by Debate, Shows Off His Softer Side = If eyed so, shady bore must be off steroids by now, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Butler Gabriele sentence unlikely to end Pope scandal

(BBC)

Photo: Patrick Peccatte

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Butler Gabriele sentence unlikely to end Pope scandal = One big tell! Pup really needles cantankerous Benedict!

(by Maurice Goddard)

North Korea Defection: Soldier Crosses Heavily Armed Border After Killing Two Superior Officers

(Huffington Post)

Photo: David Stanley

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North Korean soldier defects to South = Luck of other side: no, not shot, arrested

(by Rosie Perera)

Last native speaker of Scots dialect dies

(CNN)

Photo: DMWCarol

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The Scots Cromarty fisherfolk dialect = Sorry, this eclectic form of talk's death.

(by Rosie Perera)

Facebook's 1 billion users shows company's resilience

(ComputerWorld)

Illustration: stoneysteiner

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Facebook's one billion users shows the company's resilience = So, simply subscribe & enhance one foolish social network. See?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Europe Rallies for Stunning Victory

(The New York Times)

Photo: proforged

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Ryder Cup At Medinah = Prayed. Match Ruined.

(by Charles Sawyer)

Why Seth MacFarlane will be a great host for the Oscars

(Examiner)

Photo: Gage Skidmore

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Host Seth Woodbury MacFarlane = The Oscars tho' may be a fun world!

(by Adie Pena)

The $1 billion mission to reach the Earth's mantle

(CNN)

Illustration: mitopencourseware

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Scientists plan to drill to earth's mantle = And that'll cost millions (its present rate)

(by Rosie Perera)

Uh-Oh. Diaper Shortage Possible After Plant Explosion

(ABC News)

Photo: sean dreilinger

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Diaper shortage = Pee or shit? A drag!

(by Adie Pena)

'Sons of Anarchy' actor dead in Hollywood murder mystery

(CNN)

Photo: David Shankbone

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Los Angeles actor Jonathan Kendrick Lewis = Note insane sick jerk who strangled a local

(by Rosie Perera)

Andy Williams dead at 84: 'Moon River' crooner loses battle with bladder cancer

(New York Daily News)

Photo: Roadsidepictures

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The singer Andy Williams has died of bladder cancer = An adored star's life harshly ended. 'Big C' claimed win.

(by Tony Crafter)

British soldier gives birth at Afghanistan's Camp Bastion

(The Journal)

Photo: Defence Images

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The British Army = My hastier birth

(by Chris Sturdy)

Fresh anti-Islam film protests in Muslim countries

(BBC)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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The anti-Islam film protests = Faith seems still important

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Amish leader convicted of hate crimes in beard attacks

(CNN)

Photo: Travis S.

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Amish leader convicted in beard attacks = Bad hair cleaver intended a most sick act

(by Rosie Perera)

Giant snails seized at airport

(MSN News)

Photo: Linwood

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Live giant African snails were seized at Scotland airport = No win! Escargots placed in transit leave a fair-sized trail

(by Robert Jordan)

Secret Video: Romney Tells Millionaire Donors What He REALLY Thinks of Obama Voters

(Mother Jones)

Photo: Batai

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Mitt Romney's secret video = Verity: I detest commoners

(by Rosie Perera)

New Demotic Dictionary Translates Lives of Ancient Egyptians

(The New York Times)

Photo: listentoreason

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New dictionary translates the Demotic Egyptian language = It can relate ancient glyph meanings to us today: wadi, egret, ...

(by Rosie Perera)