Mary Rose: scientists identify shipwreck's elite archers by RSI

(The Daily Telegraph)

Video: Simon Davison

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Mary Rose: scientists identify shipwreck's elite archers by RSI = It's dim! Henry's terrific warship releases its icky bony secrets.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Israel vs. Hamas: The first social-media war

(Philly.com)

Photo: Israel Defense Forces

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The Israel versus Hamas war = We, rash rivals, hate & use arms

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Man hunted with spears half a million years ago

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: commorancy

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Man hunted with spears half a million years ago = What folds! Agile apemen in a hurry shot animals!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Has the Mormon mystique been lifted?

(BBC)
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Has the Mormon mystique been lifted? = Romney himself bequeathed Mitt's "NO"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Facing court, man who fed a sausage roll to police horse

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: werewegian

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Facing court, man who fed a sausage roll to police horse = Scrumptious fare on the hoof c/o a collared Glaswegian

(by Robert Jordan)

Two-Thirds Marine Species Remain Unknown

(Discovery)

Photo: marinebio.org

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Two-Thirds Marine Species Remain Unknown = Map treatise now rich in unseen worm kinds?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope Benedict XVI declares it is 'beautiful to be old'

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Catholic United Financial

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Pope Benedict XVI declares it is 'beautiful to be old' = Ever old, but celibate pontificate libido's sexed up!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope Benedict XVI declares it is 'beautiful to be old' = Accept it - bed's trouble - one pitiful libido, evade sex

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Newly discovered gene could help explain how humans evolved from chimpanzees, says scientists

(The Independent)

Photo: ucumari

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Newly discovered gene could help explain how humans evolved from chimpanzees, says scientists = Heavens! Exclude Neolithic sleazy fat apes who survived GOP's mindless dense clown, chimp Romney!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Petraeus began affair after taking top CIA job, friend says

(The Globe and Mail)

Photo: chi1088

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The Central Intelligence Agency, Langley, Virginia = Even the General can illicitly get any nice gal. *grin*

(by Adie Pena)

Obama has four years to fix the economy

(Financial Times)

Photo: davemakkar

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Obama has four years to fix the economy = "O Boy! Shout fame, as I tax arch-foe Romney!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Petraeus affair fallout continues as focus turns to Senate investigation

(The Guardian)

Photo: isafmedia

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Petraeus affair fallout continues as focus turns to Senate investigation = It is so unfortunate in: Officer's sensuous fatal attraction, Paula, gets even.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Holly Petraeus Is Beyond 'Furious'

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: US Army

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Holly Petraeus = Oh, really upset!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

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Holly Petraeus Is Beyond 'Furious' = Helpful derision, 'So, you betray us?!'

(by Dharam Khalsa)

My husband cannot become fully aroused and our sex life has ground to a halt

(The Guardian)

Photo: Mr.Thomas

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My husband cannot become fully aroused and our sex life has ground to a halt = O Man! Usual lax conduct you dread. Nut's more fond of his beer belly than a shag!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mitt Romney transition website for election victory appears online

(Vancouver Sun)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

Mitt Romney transition website for election victory appears online = Vanity! Conceit! A sly trier! Impotent twit! Boneless moron! Inferior ape!

(by Maurice Goddard)

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Election Day in November = Do believe in Romney? Can't!

(by Adie Pena)

Obama is re-elected to second term

(Milwaukee Courier)

Photo: The White House

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Obama is re-elected = I see able Democrat

(by Adie Pena)

Skyfall: The Most Boring Bond of All

(Esquire)

Photo: AdrianPatrickArtist

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Daniel Craig in 'Skyfall' = Silly, inane flick. A drag!

(by Adie Pena)

Woolly Mammoth Skeleton Unearthed Near Paris

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Great Beyond

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Woolly Mammoth Skeleton Unearthed Near Paris = I roar, wholly a phenomenal tusked monster, mate!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Petraeus Scandal Started with FBI Probe Into Emails

(VOA News)

Photo: hectorir

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David Howell Petraeus = Deeds with lover Paula

(by Adie Pena)

US election: What next for the Republican party?

(BBC)

Illustration: mariopiperni

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US election: What next for the Republican party? = Stab? They can excel with a lot of runner-up tripe!
US election: What next for the Republican party? = True anxiety? Rich hopeful twerps can battle on!

(by Maurice Goddard)

CIA boss David Petraeus resigns after affair with biographer

(The Australian)

Photo: MichalSpocko

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The ex-CIA head David Howell.Petraeus = He decided to have real sex with Paula!

(by Adie Pena)