Pope to open a personal Twitter account

(CNN)

Photo: Catholic Church (England and Wales)
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Pope to open personal Twitter account = Purpose? To tweet on contraception, pal!

(by Rosie Perera)

Kate Middleton Reveals School Nickname 'Squeak'

(EntertainmentWise)

Photo: 木木 曉儀

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Kate Middleton Reveals School Nickname 'Squeak' = Slick loved dame's queenlike, thanks to a romance!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mideast men go under knife for manly mustaches

(CNN)

Photo: jrseles

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Mustache implant surgery ~ augments empty hair curls

(by Rosie Perera)

US planned to hit the moon with nuclear weapon to intimidate Russia

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: lorca56

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US planned to hit the moon with nuclear weapon to intimidate Russia = Heinous Cold War intention upon a missile threat that'd wipe out man

(by Maurice Goddard)

Britain's oldest tortoise celebrates 130th birthday

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Al_HikesAZ

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Britain's oldest tortoise celebrates hundred-and-thirtieth birthday = A brilliant story! Hitherto, it's hibernated three 'DON'T DISTURB' decades!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Yasser Arafat's body exhumed

(CNN)

Photo: mharrsch

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Yasser Arafat's remains exhumed = As exam, see if a rash nasty murder

(by Rosie Perera)

Fears of political meltdown as thousands mass against Morsi

(The Independent)

Photo: EEAS

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Fears of political meltdown as thousands mass against Morsi = Masses warn, last mad-ass pig, infamous dictator Hosni, fell too.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Will machines kill mankind? Cambridge academics want to know

(The Independent)

Photo: Dunechaser

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Will machines kill mankind? Cambridge academics want to know = Ascertain, a new wicked black iMac might kill man's own old mind?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why on earth did they exhume Yasser Arafat?

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: World Economic Forum

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Why on earth did they exhume Yasser Arafat? = Yeah! Hamas fears why extra-nutty hero died??

(by Maurice Goddard)

WWII pigeon message stumps GCHQ decoders

(BBC)
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A dead WWII carrier pigeon: one outmoded message tied on to it stumps the GCHQ decoders = The Gestapo missed acquiring some undeciphered coded wartime wordage too, it's noted.

(by Robert Jordan)

James Bond Wanted: Skyfall Style Job Appears On Official Government Website

(Contactmusic.com)
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James Bond Wanted: Skyfall Style Job Appears On Official Government Website = "Jeepers! Let's employ big fab me, Sean Connery, and I'll want two stiff vodkas a job!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Larry Hagman, boyish to the end: An appreciation

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: UggBoy-UggGirl

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Larry Hagman, boyish to the end: An appreciation = Yeah! A mighty actor and noble person in a hat! RIP

(by Maurice Goddard)

Scientists 'undiscover' South Pacific island

(CNN)

Photo: NOAA

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Scientists 'undiscover' South Pacific island = Civil fuss adds conscious panic: "It isn't there!?"

(by Rosie Perera)

Solar tsunami seen in NASA video

(Fox News)

Video: NASA

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Solar tsunami seen in NASA video = Sun's dimension as a violent area!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Didn't you used to be running for president? Mitt Romney looks tired and disheveled as he pumps his own gas just two weeks after election defeat

(Daily Mail)

Photo: mkb95

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Didn't you used to be running for president? Mitt Romney looks tired and disheveled as he pumps his own gas just two weeks after election defeat = Reaction to the winner's aim? Obvious the snotty-nosed dim-witted jerk was upset, unsure, giddy, or drunken, and fell off his esteemed GOP pedestal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama begins Asia trip in Thailand

(The Daily Express)

Photo: US Department of State

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Obama’s three day Asia trip’s underway in Bangkok, Thailand = Aides are adamant: hanky-panky with nude bar girls is taboo.

(by Robert Jordan)

Mary Rose: scientists identify shipwreck's elite archers by RSI

(The Daily Telegraph)

Video: Simon Davison

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Mary Rose: scientists identify shipwreck's elite archers by RSI = It's dim! Henry's terrific warship releases its icky bony secrets.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Israel vs. Hamas: The first social-media war

(Philly.com)

Photo: Israel Defense Forces

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The Israel versus Hamas war = We, rash rivals, hate & use arms

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Man hunted with spears half a million years ago

(The Daily Telegraph)

Illustration: commorancy

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Man hunted with spears half a million years ago = What folds! Agile apemen in a hurry shot animals!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Has the Mormon mystique been lifted?

(BBC)
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Has the Mormon mystique been lifted? = Romney himself bequeathed Mitt's "NO"

(by Maurice Goddard)