Bushmasters Disappearing From Shelves After Newtown

(ABC News)

Photo: the.myrmidon

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Bushmaster rifle = Left bruises, harm

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Celebrations in Mexico as world survives 'end of days'

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Lynn Friedman

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Celebrations in Mexico as world survives 'end of days' = Doomsday crisis averted; axis influences overblown.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Gunman Went To College At 16: Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooter, Adam Lanza, Enrolled At Western Connecticut State

(The International Business Times)

Photo: torbakhopper

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Sandy Hook Elementary School, Connecticut = One man shocked local society, then country!

(by Adie Pena)

Newtown school gunman forced his way in, police say

(BBC)

Illustration: Daniel M. Reck

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Newtown school gunman forced his way in, police say = News: Now pains of icy agony. We mourn each child lost.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Christmas music makes us spend more

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Zellaby

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Christmas music makes us spend more = Sums speak it! Mesmeric sounds charm!

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Choose Life' license plates ruled unconstitutional in North Carolina

(CNN)
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'Choose Life' license plates ruled unconstitutional in North Carolina = Announced all is lost until there is inclusion of pro-choice alternate

(by Rosie Perera)

Suomi satellite pictures Earth in black

(BBC)

Credit: NASA

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Suomi satellite pictures Earth in black = I unclutter space shot - it is like a marble

(by Chris Sturdy)

Obama warns al-Assad against chemical weapons, declares 'the world is watching'

(CNN)

Photo: PanARMENIAN

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Syria might be preparing to use chemical weapons = Thus some people weigh in: "Crap! Sarin may be tragic!

(by Rosie Perera)

Kate Middleton Is Pregnant, Palace Says

(ABC News)

Photo: Nuwandalice

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Kate Middleton is pregnant, palace confirms = England men forecast special important kid

(by Rosie Perera)

Pope to open a personal Twitter account

(CNN)

Photo: Catholic Church (England and Wales)
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Pope to open personal Twitter account = Purpose? To tweet on contraception, pal!

(by Rosie Perera)

Kate Middleton Reveals School Nickname 'Squeak'

(EntertainmentWise)

Photo: 木木 曉儀

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Kate Middleton Reveals School Nickname 'Squeak' = Slick loved dame's queenlike, thanks to a romance!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mideast men go under knife for manly mustaches

(CNN)

Photo: jrseles

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Mustache implant surgery ~ augments empty hair curls

(by Rosie Perera)

US planned to hit the moon with nuclear weapon to intimidate Russia

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: lorca56

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US planned to hit the moon with nuclear weapon to intimidate Russia = Heinous Cold War intention upon a missile threat that'd wipe out man

(by Maurice Goddard)

Britain's oldest tortoise celebrates 130th birthday

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Al_HikesAZ

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Britain's oldest tortoise celebrates hundred-and-thirtieth birthday = A brilliant story! Hitherto, it's hibernated three 'DON'T DISTURB' decades!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Yasser Arafat's body exhumed

(CNN)

Photo: mharrsch

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Yasser Arafat's remains exhumed = As exam, see if a rash nasty murder

(by Rosie Perera)

Fears of political meltdown as thousands mass against Morsi

(The Independent)

Photo: EEAS

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Fears of political meltdown as thousands mass against Morsi = Masses warn, last mad-ass pig, infamous dictator Hosni, fell too.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Will machines kill mankind? Cambridge academics want to know

(The Independent)

Photo: Dunechaser

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Will machines kill mankind? Cambridge academics want to know = Ascertain, a new wicked black iMac might kill man's own old mind?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why on earth did they exhume Yasser Arafat?

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: World Economic Forum

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Why on earth did they exhume Yasser Arafat? = Yeah! Hamas fears why extra-nutty hero died??

(by Maurice Goddard)

WWII pigeon message stumps GCHQ decoders

(BBC)
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A dead WWII carrier pigeon: one outmoded message tied on to it stumps the GCHQ decoders = The Gestapo missed acquiring some undeciphered coded wartime wordage too, it's noted.

(by Robert Jordan)

James Bond Wanted: Skyfall Style Job Appears On Official Government Website

(Contactmusic.com)
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James Bond Wanted: Skyfall Style Job Appears On Official Government Website = "Jeepers! Let's employ big fab me, Sean Connery, and I'll want two stiff vodkas a job!"

(by Maurice Goddard)