Agency Moves to Retire Most Research Chimps

(The New York Times)

Photo: patries71

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Agency Moves to Retire Most Research Chimps = Most right compassionate mercy ever! Cheers!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Cambridge is top university for 'sugar daddy dating'

(The Daily Telegraph)
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Cambridge is top university for 'sugar daddy dating' = Ms Bird - give it a try. Pay for digs, drugs and education!

(by Chris Sturdy)

Michelle Obama's eye roll: What was she thinking?

(CNN)

Photo: jurvetson

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Michelle Obama's eye roll: What was she thinking? = We think maybe she was smelling the alcohol air!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Photo: CREDITS

Michelle Obama's eye roll: What was she thinking? = Is Boehner at heckling me? Ahem... swallow hastily!

(by Robert Jordan)

Michelle Obama's eye roll: What was she thinking? = Like hell! Boehner's a measly manic hogwash-twit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Surrogate Mother Wanted for Neanderthal Baby

(Discovery)

Photo: erix

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Surrogate Mother Wanted for Neanderthal Baby = The need's great? Who'd bear an abnormal furry tot?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

UCI: Armstrong confession repairs damage to sport

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Kempton

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The Union Cycliste Internationale = Oh, I see it! Lance truly ain't innocent!

(by Adie Pena)

Inauguration Day: Obama sworn in for second term

(BBC)

Photo: Photo Phiend

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Inauguration Day: Obama sworn in for second term = On course, and a bruising ado for a wan Mitt Romney?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Lance Armstrong's Confession

(Huffington Post)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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I, I Lance Edward Armstrong am, = am a mortal disgraced winner!

(by Vijay Menon)

Genes play role in grade school bullying, new study says

(Calgary Herald)

Illustration: Geoff Hutchison

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Genes play role in grade school bullying, new study says = Golly! Genealogy's way, scoundrelly, as in President Bush?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Horsemeat scandal: Experts blame deliberate swindle by foreign suppliers

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: LoopZilla

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A horsemeat scandal = Tesco has a darn meal!

(by Adie Pena)

Why don't we eat horse meat?

(Calgary Herald)

Photo: Eduardo Amorim

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Why don't we eat horse meat? = What? Eat my own hero steed??

(by Maurice Goddard)

To save a cathedral, marinate in olive oil

(MSNBC)

Photo: kalakeli

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Preservationists use olive oil to save York Minster = Look, visitors, it survives elements! Easy to repair, no?

(by Rosie Perera)

Scientists hate the GOP for a reason

(Salon)

Photo: jima

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Scientists hate the GOP for a reason = Ethics, sir! GOP tea-oafs aren't honest.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Preston Kemp

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Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are = Ay! How rogue Bush aped a loony arse guy?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Prince Charles: 'I'm feeling very old'

(BBC)

Illustration: PIX-JOCKEY

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Prince Charles: 'I'm feeling very old' = Refine overly cliched line Gramps!

(by Robert Jordan)

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Prince Charles: 'I'm feeling very old' = Hm? A forever silly declining creep!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Report: Lance-Oprah talk 'emotional'

(Fox Sports)

Photo: Vélocia

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Report: Lance-Oprah talk 'emotional' = Rampant Cheater: Look, atropine! LOL

(by Mike Hammond)

Why do Brits love American food?

(The Guardian)

Photo: cattoo

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Why do Brits love American food? = Wholesome fry addiction? Bravo!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Astronomy stunner: Massive quasar cluster too big for theory

(AlaskaDispatch)

Photo: NASA

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Astronomy stunner: Massive quasar cluster too big for theory = Our cosmos equates to VERY unfathomable starry stirring, son.

(by Maurice Goddard)

"It's just amazing": Kate Middleton's high praise for her first official portrait

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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"It's just amazing": Kate Middleton's high praise for her first official portrait = I add: "Original historic hip-art stuff mirrors a stiff phantomlike jet set gaze!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Miss Universe Explains What She Is Looking For In A Man

(antimusic)

Photo: kortomomolu

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Miss Universe Explains What She Is Looking For In A Man = Hi! Man's in uniform, he's passionate, loving, & likes raw sex!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Diego-San, the astonishing 'robo-boy' that can smile and grimace just like a real baby

(Daily Mail)
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Diego-San, the astonishing 'robo-boy' that can smile and grimace just like a real baby = O! It's original! As a genial big-hearted object, cheeky bonny bastard is almost human!

(by Maurice Goddard)