'Bionic man' goes on show at British museum

(GMA News)
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'Bionic man' goes on show at British museum = So bow, son, curiosities man might be human?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Arkansas to allow concealed guns in churches

(CNN)

Photo: Cocoabiscuit

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Arkansas to allow concealed guns in churches = Ah, ensure dang clerics can now shoot us all. Ack!

(by Rosie Perera)

The Burger King Horse Meat Scandal

(Wafflesatnoon)

Photo: notnixon

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The Burger King Horse Meat Scandal = Some grand charger stable in the UK?

(by Adie Pena)

Stranded Briton heads home after 22 days at Naia; kind Filipinos fed him

(Inquirer)

Photo: Ferdz Decena

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Stranded Briton Gary Peter Austin = Get rest and dinner at busy airport

(by Adie Pena)

Morsi's dilemma: Was Prophet Muhammad wrong?

(UPI)

Photo: European External Action Service

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Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi = On my damage reports, I'm in deep shit!

(by Adie Pena)

Love is...knowing how to make her Valentine's Day extra special

(The Independent)

Photo: elod beregszaszi

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Love is...knowing how to make her Valentine's Day extra special = Cool date! Whatever, I know Samantha LOVES sexy pink lingerie!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Former first dog Barney Bush dies

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: r3m3dy

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Former first dog Barney Bush dies = Shrub's sombre grief noted Friday

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Pahlaj Nihalani to launch Govinda's daughter Narmada

(Zee News)

Photo: Wikimedia

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Pahlaj Nihalani to launch Govinda's daughter Narmada = A Rajah pants (no laugh): "Ah! much-loved radiant Indian gal!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dolphin rescue caught on underwater camera

(BBC)

Photo: LaPrimaDonna

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Dolphin rescue caught on underwater camera = He cut. Caring man helped a wondrous creature

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Abuse your boyfriend' app available on iPhones

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Ricky Romero

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'Abuse your boyfriend' app available on iPhones = Lo! Via a rip of bearable use, unhappy boy's done in!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Patty Andrews, the last surviving member of the Andrews Sisters, dies at 94

(Washington Post)

Photo: Wikimedia

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Patty Andrews, the last surviving member of the Andrews Sisters, dies = Ah! This sweet dreams velvety swing-band trio-star finds rest supreme

(by Maurice Goddard)

New York Times says Chinese hackers broke into its computers

(CNN)

Photo: José Goulão

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Chinese hackers break into NYT computers = Sneaky tech crooks ruin the PCs. Mean tribe!

(by Rosie Perera)

Azarenka Beats Li to Win Australian Open

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: sentxd

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Women's Australian Open title = It went to European (slams Li Na)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Dutch Queen Beatrix to abdicate in favour of son

(AP)

Photo: jo.sau

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Dutch Queen Beatrix to abdicate in favour of son = Ha! Not a bad cue, quit vocation before six ft under!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Standoff drags into 3rd day as man holds 6-year-old in underground bunker

(CNN)

Photo: Mary.Do

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Hostage taker Jimmy Lee Dykes = O my! Yes, the male jerk gets a kid.

(by Rosie Perera)

Hillary Clinton planning to write a memoir and catch up on 20 years' sleep deprivation

(Daily Mail)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Hillary Clinton planning to write a memoir = "A wry poignant thriller! I'll mention Monica!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why did men stop wearing high heels?

(BBC)

Photo: auro

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Why did men stop wearing high heels? = Hm? Weighty dire leg pains when shod?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Scientists develop 'tractor beam'

(MSN News)

Photo: JD Hancock

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Scientists develop 'tractor beam' = Movable dots: Enterprise's tactic.

(by Robert Jordan)

Fire and ice: Big freeze at Chicago warehouse blaze

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: John Morrison

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Fire and ice: Big freeze at Chicago warehouse blaze = In a fierce haze of water he bagged a sub-zero icicle

(by Chris Sturdy)

North Korea Vows Nuclear Test and Threatens US

(The New York Times)

Photo: CleveredFool.com

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North Korea Vows Nuclear Test and Threatens U.S. = N.Korean leaders? Worst-ever nuts that can shout!

(by Maurice Goddard)