My chemical romance: can medicine cure divorce?

(The Guardian)

Photo: Millzero Photography

My chemical romance: can medicine cure divorce? = Chic 'crème de la crème' vaccine may induce in Romeo?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Time for change on Monopoly board

(Evening Standard)

Photo: rustybrick

Time for change on Monopoly Board = Too long for any champion -- bored me!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Time for change on Monopoly board = Boon from logo hype, cat & iron named.

(by Robert Jordan)

Ahmadinejad says Iran can create nuclear weapons, but not to attack Israel

Ahmadinejad says Iran can create nuclear weapons, but not to attack Israel (Fox News)

Photo: Beshef

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Ahmadinejad says Iran can create nuclear weapons, but not to attack Israel = One can't trust that paranoiac wild-eyed jackass! Nearer an absolute maniac!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Patent Reform, System Should Be Abolished, Fed Economists Say

(Huffington Post)

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Economists call for abolishing US patent system = Thus notably easing listless companies' comfort

(by Rosie Perera)

'Bionic man' goes on show at British museum

(GMA News)
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'Bionic man' goes on show at British museum = So bow, son, curiosities man might be human?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Arkansas to allow concealed guns in churches

(CNN)

Photo: Cocoabiscuit

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Arkansas to allow concealed guns in churches = Ah, ensure dang clerics can now shoot us all. Ack!

(by Rosie Perera)

The Burger King Horse Meat Scandal

(Wafflesatnoon)

Photo: notnixon

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The Burger King Horse Meat Scandal = Some grand charger stable in the UK?

(by Adie Pena)

Stranded Briton heads home after 22 days at Naia; kind Filipinos fed him

(Inquirer)

Photo: Ferdz Decena

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Stranded Briton Gary Peter Austin = Get rest and dinner at busy airport

(by Adie Pena)

Morsi's dilemma: Was Prophet Muhammad wrong?

(UPI)

Photo: European External Action Service

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Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi = On my damage reports, I'm in deep shit!

(by Adie Pena)

Love is...knowing how to make her Valentine's Day extra special

(The Independent)

Photo: elod beregszaszi

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Love is...knowing how to make her Valentine's Day extra special = Cool date! Whatever, I know Samantha LOVES sexy pink lingerie!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Former first dog Barney Bush dies

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: r3m3dy

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Former first dog Barney Bush dies = Shrub's sombre grief noted Friday

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Pahlaj Nihalani to launch Govinda's daughter Narmada

(Zee News)

Photo: Wikimedia

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Pahlaj Nihalani to launch Govinda's daughter Narmada = A Rajah pants (no laugh): "Ah! much-loved radiant Indian gal!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Dolphin rescue caught on underwater camera

(BBC)

Photo: LaPrimaDonna

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Dolphin rescue caught on underwater camera = He cut. Caring man helped a wondrous creature

(by Maurice Goddard)

'Abuse your boyfriend' app available on iPhones

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Ricky Romero

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'Abuse your boyfriend' app available on iPhones = Lo! Via a rip of bearable use, unhappy boy's done in!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Patty Andrews, the last surviving member of the Andrews Sisters, dies at 94

(Washington Post)

Photo: Wikimedia

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Patty Andrews, the last surviving member of the Andrews Sisters, dies = Ah! This sweet dreams velvety swing-band trio-star finds rest supreme

(by Maurice Goddard)

New York Times says Chinese hackers broke into its computers

(CNN)

Photo: José Goulão

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Chinese hackers break into NYT computers = Sneaky tech crooks ruin the PCs. Mean tribe!

(by Rosie Perera)

Azarenka Beats Li to Win Australian Open

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: sentxd

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Women's Australian Open title = It went to European (slams Li Na)

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Dutch Queen Beatrix to abdicate in favour of son

(AP)

Photo: jo.sau

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Dutch Queen Beatrix to abdicate in favour of son = Ha! Not a bad cue, quit vocation before six ft under!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Standoff drags into 3rd day as man holds 6-year-old in underground bunker

(CNN)

Photo: Mary.Do

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Hostage taker Jimmy Lee Dykes = O my! Yes, the male jerk gets a kid.

(by Rosie Perera)

Hillary Clinton planning to write a memoir and catch up on 20 years' sleep deprivation

(Daily Mail)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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Hillary Clinton planning to write a memoir = "A wry poignant thriller! I'll mention Monica!"

(by Maurice Goddard)