The Margaret-Denis partnership

(The Independent)

Photo: White House Photo Office

Sir Denis Thatcher, Baronet, MBE, TD - onetime husband of Margaret = To great man behind famous mate, resented horrid bitch's banter

(by Jason Lofts)

Thieves swipe five tons of Nutella

(MSN News)

Photo: nemuneko.jc

Thieves swipe five tons of Nutella = Fun if sweet tooth peeves villains

(by Robert Jordan)

Sheep to keep Paris grass trim

(MSN News)

Photo: EssjayNZ

Sheep to keep Paris grass trim = Their perks impress; goats ape

(by Robert Jordan)

'U' street homes top prices list

(MSN News)

Photo: Monica Arellano-Ongpin

'U' street homes top prices list = Sum the costliest properties

(by Robert Jordan)

Desmond Tutu Wins 2013 Templeton Prize With $1.7 Million Award

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Joshua Wanyama

Archbishop Desmond Tutu wins a Templeton Prize = Now thus commend the baptized spiritual person.

(by Rosie Perera)

After 42 years behind bars, suspect in deadly Ariz. hotel fire freed

(CBS News)

Photo: Loving Earth

Louis Taylor = O, lousy trial!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

MP Rob Wilson in accidental porn link tweet

(BBC)

Photo: Byzantine_K

MP Rob Wilson in accidental porn link tweet = On click want IDS, not terrible nipple woman
(IDS: Iain Duncan Smith)

(by Chris Sturdy)

North Korea says it plans to restart shuttered nuclear reactor

(CNN)

Photo: kalleboo

North Korea to restart nuclear reactor = A turn closer to an attack or error there.

(by Rosie Perera)

Fish is key to a longer life

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Omar Eduardo

Fish is key to a longer life = Fries in oil: they age folks

(by Robert Jordan)

Michael Caine: Don't call me 'sir'

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Manfred Werner

Do not call me 'sir' = Caine: most droll!

(by Janthakorn Thammajan)

Zumba Sex Scandal: Alexis Wright Pleads Guilty to 20 Counts

(ABC News)

Photo: USAG Vicenza

Alexis Wright = Sex with a girl

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Met Office defends forecasting

(MSN News)

Photo: DECCgovuk

Met Office defends forecasting = Mist or fog is effect and defence?

(by Robert Jordan)

Nelson Mandela breathing without difficulty - presidency

(BBC)

Photo: Festival Karsh Ottawa

Nelson Mandela breathing without difficulty - presidency = Sleepy, friendly, content humble giant, did win South Africa

(by Maurice Goddard)

Arizona man, 86, sentenced to probation after mercy killing of his ailing wife

(Fox News)

Photo: Gideon Tsang

Mercy killing = Crying - 'Kill me!'

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Lady Gaga tune stuck in your head? A tricky anagram will get rid of those annoying "earworms"

(Metro)

Photo: qthomasbower

A tricky anagram will get rid of those annoying earworms = I know how to forget arrant mimer Lady Gaga's inane lyrics

(by Chris Sturdy)

Antonin Scalia

(deathandtaxesmag)

Photo: The Higgs Boson

Antonin Scalia = I sanction anal

Kyle Busch wins Fontana after wreck

(ESPN)

Photo: Bristol Motor Speedway & Dragway

Kyle Busch wins Fontana after wreck = An effrot was lucky. The winner's back.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Female anchor reads her own wedding proposal live on air after fiancé hijacks autocue.

(Daily Mail)

Female anchor reads her own wedding proposal live on air after fiance hijacks autocue. = Watch cute prank. Hero adores Jillian Pavlica, offers wifehood; see marriage announced.

(by Chris Sturdy)

Dutch legend Edgar Davids rescues stranded Barnet fans

(Yahoo! Eurosport)

Photo: Wikimedia

Dutch legend Edgar Davids rescues stranded Barnet fans = Dang! Netherlands dude's grand bus act deserves FA credit

(by Chris Sturdy)

Nighttime trips to the loo 'reduce productivity during the day'

(The Independent)

Photo: thejbird

Nighttime trips to the loo 'reduce productivity during the day' = Cited truth might not pity nocturia? Old gits did pee every hour!

(by Maurice Goddard)