Obama lauds 'kinder and gentler' Bush

(USA Today)

Photo: Scorpions and Centaurs

Obama lauds 'kinder and gentler' George Bush = To B.O., G.B. seems a deranged drunken liar (laugh)

(by Jason Lofts)

Florida man pleads not guilty to shooting teen to death over loud music

(NBC News)

Photo: Mike Saechang

Florida man pleads not guilty to shooting teen to death over loud music = Police noted fool "stood his ground", emulating Trayvon's ultimate death.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Jury finds George Zimmerman not guilty on all counts

(Fox News)

Photo: G Laury Photography

Jury finds George Zimmerman not guilty on all counts = Girl-only courtroom finalizes judgment: gun amnesty.

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Three hurt in Pamplona bull run

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: wongoz

Three hurt in Pamplona bull run = Hah - run, rout, trample in bullpen

(by Julian Lofts)

Jury in George Zimmerman trial faces tough task

(Los Angeles Times)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Jury in George Zimmerman trial faces tough task = No fracture, major marks? Meeting his gaze, "Guilty!"

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Smoking Cage: Ibrahim Yucel, Turkish Man, Locks Head In Cage All Day In Attempt To Quit

(Huffington Post)

Ibrahim Yucel, Turkish man, locks head in cage all day in attempt to quit smoking = Cigarette habit-killing Kutahya Man in the Iron Mask coldly quits, dumps Cameo

(by Julian Lofts)

DARPA Unveils Atlas Humanoid Robot

(PC Magazine)

Humanoid named Atlas = Idea: Almost human DNA

(by Aronas Pinchas)

New life for obese orangutan

(UPI)

Photo: s.sukiwan

New regime for obese orang-utan = Go wean - no beer, fat or meringues

(by Julian Lofts)

Cheating Husband's Mistress Reportedly Pushed Off Cliff By Wife

(Huffington Post)

Cheating Husband's Mistress Reportedly Pushed Off Cliff By Wife = Declined trophy wife has a tiff, flings hubby's seducer from steps

(by Julian Lofts)

Egyptian president Morsi defies military ultimatum

(The Hamilton Spectator)

Photo: Joe in DC

The Egyptian president Morsi = Empty spirit. The end is near. Go!

(by Adie Pena)

Gandolfini funeral a Sopranos-style send-off

(The New Zealand Herald)

Art: Dan Lacey

Gandolfini funeral a Sopranos-style send-off = NY's Italian opera. Sad felons snuffle for Don G

(by Julian Lofts)

Swiss seek to avert US charges against banks

(USA Today)

Photo: Buro Destruct

USA target Swiss banking confidentiality = US IRS wins, gets at info by attacking denial.

(by Jason Lofts)

Death Valley temps may tie record as heat wave bakes West

(Fox News)

Photo: Stuck in Customs

The weather in Death Valley = Had heat wave. Hell eternity!

(by Adie Pena)

Rumoured girlfriend of Vladimir Putin breaks silence

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Wikimedia

Rumoured girlfriend of Vladimir Putin breaks silence = "Mr Putin in bed? Sordid, clumsier, foul, angrier vile freak!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Leaked NSA Documents Show How U.S. Is Bugging European Allies

(The Guardian)

Illustration: EFF

Leaked NSA Documents Show How U.S. Is Bugging European Allies = Suggests Cold War phobia - a genuine one. Whose idea?! Numskulls!

(by Rosie Perera)

Mohamed Morsi has turned his back on Egypt's revolution

(The Guardian)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

Mohamed Morsi has turned his back on Egypt's revolution = Muslim Brotherhood guy's a mess, and even a thick poor nit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Beaver Causes Internet And Cellphone Outage In New Mexico

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Wikimedia

Beaver Causes Internet And Cellphone Outage In New Mexico = Chaos in Taos! Puerile rodent vengeance. Unite New Mex cable!

(by Julian Lofts)

North West Meaning Explained: Kimye Baby Name 'Inspirational' Not 'Directional'

(Huffington Post)

Photo: myalexis

Why is Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's daughter named "North"? = Yes, what were Dad and Mum (a hard skank) thinking? As theory is: N.

(by Jason Lofts)

Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton items up for auction

(USA Today)

Illustration: kokopelli67

Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton items up for auction = We can buy politician's cum left on skirt? Million, no!?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Nelson Mandela 'at peace', says daughter

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Festival Karsh Ottawa

Nelson Mandela 'at peace', says daughter = Close up, a saga meant: 'sadly near the end'.

(by Maurice Goddard)