Inside Assange's embassy: 'I sleep in the ladies' loos'

(News.com.au)

Photo: Takver

Inside Assange's Ecuadorian embassy: 'I sleep in the ladies' loos = Pale besieged dissident in consular oasis is alone. Yes, a shame.

(by Julian Lofts)

Bradley Manning acquitted of aiding the enemy

(Reuters)

Photo: savebradley

The mad leaker Bradley Manning's "aiding the enemy" charges have just been dropped = Gee! My God! Very hated man and super hacker learned spending jail time? Bah! He's bent!

(by Josiah Winslow)

Dog Eats Paralyzed Man's Testicle

(Huffington Post)

Image: State Farm

Dog Eats Paralysed Man's Testicle = Alas, pet mangles testis. Doc ready...

(by Julian Lofts)

Dog Eats Paralyzed Man's Testicle = Zany pet ate ill master's sac (Ed.: God!)

Dog Eats Paralysed Man's Testicle = A pet mangles sac. Dad (testily): "Sore!"

(by Jason and Julian Lofts)

Study: Sea-level rise threatens 1,400 US cities

(USA Today)

Photo: Cherrylynx

Study: Sea-level rise threatens US major metropolises including Miami, Virginia Beach and Jacksonville = Not just Venice sinking on map. I jest, blame dam shortages. Chaos! I yell: "I'll survive!" I erred, am near-suicidal...

(by Jason Lofts)

A real-life diamond heist on the Riviera

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Amarand Agasi

A real-life diamond heist on the French Riviera = Hoorah! Thief flees in raid in recent live drama!

(by Jason Lofts)

Versace mansion for sale in 'auction of the century'

(MSN)

Photo: joannova

Gianni Versace Miami mansion for sale in 'auction of the century' = Rich foreigners envy onanistic mausoleum. "Ciao" - an intimate fan.

(by Julian Lofts)

JFK Second Shooter? New Documentary Makes Radical Claim

(Huffington Post)

Image: cliff1066

John F K Second Shooter? New Documentary Makes Radical Claim = Documents show a mad jerk shot Kennedy. O, no miracle - farcical!

(by Jason Lofts)

Giant magnet resembling flying saucer attracts rock-star status on 3,200-mile trip to Illinois

(Washington Post)

Photo: modot_stl_photos

A giant magnet resembling a flying saucer attracted rock-star attention on 3200-mile trip = 2030: Terrestrials on permanent alert! Mad UFO gyration, galactic attack beginning. Stem it!

(by Jason Lofts)

South Africa Marvels At James Bond-Style Shooting Of Czech Fugitive Radovan Krejcir

(Huffington Post)

South Africa Marvels At James Bond-Style Shooting Of Czech Fugitive Radovan Krejcir = Criminals' machine gunshot attack fazes Jo'burg officers. Threat void. Slav overjoyed.

(by Julian Lofts)

Pussy Riot's Nadezhda Tolokonnikova denied parole

(BBC)

Photo: Cea.

Pussy Riot member denied parole = Putin dabs eye, implored remorse

(by Julian Lofts)

George Alexander Louis: Royal Baby Name Revealed By Kate Middleton And Prince William

(The International Business Times)

Photo: Carmen Rodriguez

Prince George Alexander Louis Mountbatten-Windsor = Wide plan: Cambridges' son to rule our next generation?

(by Tony Crafter)

David Suchet, who has played Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot on TV for the last 25 years, completes his run

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: elena-lu

Agatha Christie and her thinly disguised famous fictional character Hercule Poirot = Aha! A comical author's created the giddy insightful French inspector I rate hilarious.

(by Jason Lofts)

Chris Froome wins Tour de France 2013

(The Guardian)

Photo: CREDITS

Lanky Chris Froome wins amazing Tour de France = He zooms! Winner cyclist a fair man - no drug faker

(by Jason Lofts)

'Justice for Trayvon' rallies draw thousands across USA

(USA Today)

Photo: greenelent

'Justice for Trayvon' = Vet, 'cos jury not fair

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Japanese knotweed invasion is halting house sales as buyers are denied mortgages on blighted properties

(Daily Mail)

Photo: wallygrom

Invasion of Japanese knotweed in the UK: It's stopped sales of houses as buyers are denied mortgage loans = So you own a home that's infested, i.e. no banks lend? People risk a degree of stagnation, despair. Jesus, save us!

(by Jason Lofts)

Threatening thunderstorms are weekend wildcard for huge wildfire in S. California mountains

(Washington Post)

Photo: mcmanagement

Huge wildfire in Southern California mountains = A warning out: furious inferno amid the nice hills

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Sprinters run from journalists' dope questions

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: pirano Bob R

Sprinters run from journalists' dope questions = Inquest: Justin slurps steroids - profane or norm?

(by Julian Lofts)

Siberian 'Jesus' Vissarion, Former Traffic Cop, Leads Patriarchal Russian Cult That Believes In Aliens

(Huffington Post)

Siberian 'Jesus' Vissarion, Former Traffic Cop, Leads Patriarchal Russian Cult That Believes In Aliens = Paternalistic Shaman/Avatar/Lord inculcates beliefs in his junior friars re: UFOs, space tribes, Elvis....

(by Julian Lofts)

Trayvon Martin's Parents Speak Out on Not Guilty Verdict

(Time)

Photo: werthmedia

George Zimmerman's acquitted - not guilty of illegal gun crimes = O, so crazy energetic gunman quite legal midst glimmer of guilt?

(by Jason Lofts)

Snowden has enough information to cause US government worst damage in history

(Fox News)

Photo: ubiquit23

Snowden had enough secret information to cause US government worst damage in history = Omigod! Showing courage isn't treachery. NSA informant Ed uses venom, threatens to wound!

(by Jason Lofts)