Diana Nyad becomes first to swim from Cuba to Florida without shark cage

(The Guardian)

Photo: booknews

Diana Nyad becomes first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage = Official record - at a big risk. Proof - she swam with boats. Utmost endurance. A dynamo!

(by Julian Lofts)

Duchess of Cambridge returns to work in skinny jeans

(The Australian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Kate back to work in skinny jeans = Bonniest in a skanky work jacket

(by Julian Lofts)

Diana Nyad swims from Havana to Key West

(Havana Concierge)

And again Diana Nyad tries the feared Havana to Key West crossing = A fad: a driven naiad - wet sea - no shark cage - an eternity (day/night)! SOS!

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama weighs 'limited' strike on Syria

( Ma'an News Agency)

Photo: DC Protests

Obama weighs 'limited' strike on Syria = I think - I may tie or blow Assad's regime

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Silicon Valley's golden pair split in Google love triangle

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Esther Dyson

Silicon Valley's golden pair split in Google love triangle = Patio lolling Serge divorces, positively galling Anne. LOL!

(by Julian Lofts)

'Twerking' and 'selfie' added to Oxford dictionary

(BBC)

Photo: caribb

Twerking enters OED = New stinker 'greed to

(by Adam Beardwell)

Zheng Jie knocks Venus Williams out of U.S. Open

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: y.caradec

Venus Williams is knocked out of U.S. Open tournament by Zheng Jie = Gadzooks! Flukey Chinese just won mean tennis prelim. But V: "No! IOU!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Woman rips out 6-year old boy's eyes in China

(NewsShow)

Photo: Sukanto Debnath

Attacker rips out eyes of little boy in China = A heinously sick petty fanatic - too terrible!

(by Julian Lofts)

New York Times and Twitter struggle after Syrian hack

(BBC)

Photo: Scott Beale

New York Times and Twitter struggle after Syrian hack = Murky SEA's warring attack on NYT. Fight riled tweeters.

(by Jason Lofts)

Singapore's Scoot Latest Airline to Offer Child-Free Flying Zone

(Time)

Photo: Simon_sees

Singapore's Scoot Latest Airline to Offer Child-Free Flying Zone = I feel frenzied Catholic priests or felons are not going to fly SA

(by Julian Lofts)

Nigerian boy flies to Lagos from home town hiding in airplane wheel cavity

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: amlusch

Nigerian boy flies to Lagos from home town hiding in airplane wheel cavity = Hypothermic stowaway and moron fleeing on airline Boeing flight is alive

(by Julian Lofts)

Tale of adultery, deception, death

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Abode of Chaos

Tale of adultery, deception, death = Hatred fueled plot to eat cyanide

(by Julian Lofts)

Yosemite fire threatens Bay Area water, power

(USA Today)

Photo: CREDITS

Yosemite fire threatens Bay Area water and power = A fiery terror! We weep at heat. [Ed.: An arsonist, maybe?]

(by Jason Lofts)

A Novelist Who Made Crime an Art, and His Bad Guys 'Fun'

(The New York Times)

Photo: John Levanen

Elmore Leonard: A Novelist who Made Crime an Art, and his 'Bad Guys' Fun, Dies age Eighty-seven Years Old = Dear unforgettable man, a loved doyen - savageness in really grimy ideas which so endeared him to us

(by Julian Lofts)

'MOMO' The Sam Giancana Documentary Feature Film Wins 'BEST MOVIE' at the Monaco Charity Film Festival

(Garnier)

Illustration: Shawn Calvert

Infamous Sam ("Mo", "Momo" or "The Cigar") Giancana. O, wasn't he a mobster chief? = Mamma mia, not wrong! A member of Chicago's Cosa Nostra, a heinous thief!

(by Jason Lofts)

Scores Killed in Syria, With Signs of Chemical Warfare

(The New York Times)

Photo: Asitimes

Scores Killed in Syria, With Signs of Chemical Warfare = Wily foe Assad's horrific, sickening, lethal war crimes

(by Julian Lofts)

About one-third of white girls use tanning bed, despite cancer risks

(New York Daily News)

Photo: leyla.a

One-third of American white girls use tanning beds, dramatically increasing cancer risks = Nice girls, if recent research said melanoma is sinister and tragic, why go in and turn black?

(by Josiah Winslow)

Explosive breast implants now a terror threat

(UPI)

Photo: libby lynn

Explosive breast implants now a terror threat = A vile terrorist bosom thwarts an expert panel

(by Julian Lofts)

Schapelle Corby's strict parole conditions revealed

(One News Page)

Photo: publik16

Schapelle Corby's strict parole conditions revealed = Cops release convicted dealer on Bali - script shortly?

(by Julian Lofts)

Woman swallows tapeworm to lose weight; tells doctor she bought it on the Internet

(Huffington Post)

Photo: rhysvsgodzilla

Woman swallows tapeworm to lose weight; tells doctor she bought it on the Internet = Wow! Iowan hog resorts to a cattle helminth to slim. Then purges bowel to settle down.

(by Julian Lofts)